Generated by All in One SEO v5.0.0.1, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site.

# Future Marriage University

Sex. Dating. Relationships.

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Posts

- [Date Night Advice (DNA) Blog](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/blog/)
- [The Secret to an Epic Sex Life](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/epic-sex-life/) - [update: 10/7/19] Would you like to know the secret to an epic sex life? Well I have to be honest. I don't know if you'll believe me. Prior to marriage, I probably wouldn't have believed what I'm about to tell you. Indeed, it wasn't until almost 10 years into marriage where I finally understood the
- [Questions You Need to Answer about Your Date (Without Asking)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/questions-you-need-to-answer/) - "For fools rush in where angels fear to tread." – Alexander Pope (1709) Most everyone is familiar with that quote, whether or not they know who Alexander Pope is (and, no, he wasn't a Pope, although there was a Pope Alexander - eight of them!). But way before the 1700s – the 900s to be
- [Parenting Advice for Dating (NOT Dating Advice for Parents)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/parenting-advice-for-dating-not-dating-advice-for-parents/) - What if there were a book offering parenting advice for dating? NOT dating advice for parents, but advice for parents (and pastors, coaches, counselors, and mentors) for helping the next generation date in a manner more likely to lead to a life-giving, lifelong marriage. Well wonder no more. There is such a book, and the promo
- [Are You Sexually Compatible?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexually-compatible/) - Are you sexually compatible with the person you're dating? How do you gauge your potential without having sex first? Don't you at least need to mess around?
- [QUICK! Before the Paparazzi Find You Read This!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/before-the-paparazzi/) - When you understand what people are looking for from fame and what they get instead, it becomes perfectly clear why so many "Michael Jacksons" go to Neverland, so many "Hannah Montanas" go "Miley Psycho" and so many "Justin Biebers" go – uhhh – to jail. It's the fame fallacy: Everyone knows your name, but nobody
- [Why Heartbreak Hurts so Badly](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/counseling-and-dating-dont-mix-part-won/) - [updated: 1/14/19] What do you get when you ask folks for their real life first-date horror stories? You get the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date. To be sure, laughing at our first-date disappointments sure beats: A. Beating ourselves up over them -or- B. Dreaming about beating up our date But even better,
- [Why You Should STOP Waiting for Sex!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/stop-waiting-for-sex/) - True love waits (or so they say). But apparently not for long. Indeed, the research indicates that purity pledges only delay first sexual experience by 18 months. How about a new campaign? "True Love Waits... 18 Months!" Yeah. Sounds like "true love" to me. However, that's old news. What I think might be new news
- [TOP 5 Things Sex has in Common with the 4th of July](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top5-things-sex-has-in-common-with-the-4th-of-july/) - You can learn a lot about sex by discovering what sex has in common with the 4th of July.
- [Why You Deserve to be Friend-Zoned](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/deserve-to-be-friend-zoned/) - I wondered who would actually have the gumption to read a post entitled, "why you deserve to be friend-zoned," and apparently it was you. Congratulations. Courageous move! Of course, despite the title, I don't know you, so I honestly don't know whether you deserve to be friend-zoned or not, but if you're guilty of the
- [Is Abstinence God's Will for Your Dating Life?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/abstinence-and-gods-will/) - Imagine a church that had seen so much sexual brokenness in their culture they wondered whether it wouldn't be better if everyone totally abstained from sex. INCLUDING the married folks! Now stop imagining, because the church of Corinth was that very church and they made that very suggestion to the Apostle Paul. The video above
- [How do You know if You’re in love?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/are-you-in-love/) - [The following was a letter to my daughter, Claire Love Johnson, when she was 9, but if you’re a passionate, intense sort of person who feels deeply it just might be to you too.] Dear Claire, I just finished watching Dan In Real Life. It’s a “grownup movie” so you won’t see it for a
- [What I Wish I had Known when I was 9](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/when-i-was-9/) - When I was nine there was one thing I knew for sure about relationships. Or rather, one person: Sarah Bakely.* I knew I wanted to be Sarah Bakely's man! I didn't really know what that meant at the time, except I hoped we'd get married someday, because, when I was nine, that's what people who
- [Is Feminism Going to Keep You Single? [MEN ONLY!]](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/feminism-keep-men-single/) - If you are a dude looking for the kind of girl you might want to marry in the future, this post will help you answer the question: is feminism going to keep you single? I have known I needed to address this topic ever since writing two posts for Covenant Eyes back in 2015, in
- [The Single Person's Guide to Relationship Status Interrogation](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/holiday-qa/) - "Are you still single?" "Seeing anyone?" "Have you made a vow of celibacy?" Face the annual family inquisition in style with the perfectly awkward reply to make Aunt Lulu just as sorry she asked her question as you are. For starters, let's tackle the most common question every wise individual must be prepared to address.
- [How to Approach God (How to Know God's Will Pt 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-to-approach-god/) - If you want a life that pleases God and blesses those you love (and even blesses yourself in the process), then you'll love our new Date Night Advice (DNA) series in which we'll discuss how to know God's will, and we'll begin with some coaching on how to approach God in the first place. First
- [How not to Wind up a 40-year-old Virgin (or a 40-year old who has had lots of sex, but is still desperately lonely)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/40-year-old-virgin/) - I have a friend who lost his virginity in high school. Thank goodness he didn't wind up a 40-year-old virgin, right? I mean how embarrassing that would be! How sad! How pathetically retrograde! Of course he lost his virginity to some girl he barely knew. A girl who apparently knew a whole lot more about
- [TOP5 Hottest Posts of 2020](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top5-of-2020/) - Like this past year, the TOP5 hottest posts of 2020 from our Date Night Advice (DNA) blog hold a few surprises. But unlike the last 12 months, these surprises are all good ones. Usually the majority of each year's TOP5 pieces will be about sex. In fact, in 2013 all the TOP5 articles were about
- [God's Will is Greater than Your Dreams](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/gods-will-your-dreams/) - I believe something very important about you: that if you clearly understood that God's will is greater than your dreams, you would surrender every dream you ever had to chase after God's will for your life. Even His will for your dating life. Especially His will for your dating life. Of course it's challenging to
- [Lonely? Don't Date!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/lonely-dont-date/) - If we were created with a deep need for meaningful human connection, how can you date without the yearning gnawing desperation to belong to a significant other?
- [Cohabitation is Another Way of Saying...](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/cohabitation-saying/) - Once upon a time, the man would give his beloved a ring. Now he gives her a key. Or maybe she gives him a key. Or maybe they share keys. Not the keys to their heart, mind you, although they might romanticize it like that. Then again, at other times in other cultures, the woman's
- [4 Mindsets that will Kill Your Relationships](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/mindsets-kill-relationships/) - We accept the reality that a successful career is the fruit of years of diligent study and hard work; much of that effort (at least 12 years of it) taking place before one's career ever begins. But as for a successful relationship? It just happens. Or doesn't. No training required for it to work. No
- [4 Facts You Want to Know Before You Get Their Number](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/4-facts-before-you-get-their-number/) - You want to get their number? Are you sure? How can you be sure? By making sure you know these four facts first: #1: What are your intentions? Before we get started, let me give you some perspective. I'm the father of two daughters, both uniquely beautiful and mysterious creatures whom I have known, loved,
- [Why I'm Glad I Married at 22 (25 Years Later)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/glad-i-married-at-22/) - Marriage Log: Day 9,132 25 years ago yesterday, I married my college sweetheart. We were both 22. People rarely get married at 22 anymore. Indeed, the average age at first marriage is now almost 28 for females and 30 for males. Is this good or bad? Depends on who you talk to, but as for
- [A Warning and Challenge to Every Single Man](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/challenge-to-every-single-man/) - This post is a warning and challenge to every single man who hopes to become a husband and father. Including all of those you know and care about.
- [Where Has Passion Led Us?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/passion-led-us/) - In these times in which we live, passion has become quite the popular topic. It's usually spoken of in relation to one's career pursuits, but it's become much bigger than that. Indeed, from many of the things I read, if you don't know what your passions are, you may have no reason for living at
- [Choosing Peace even when Your Relationship Status is Complicated](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/finding-peace-even-relationship-status-complicated/) - Do you think you are called to be married someday? Notice I didn't ask, "Do you think you want to be married someday?" I asked if you thought you were called. If you just want to be married, you might spend a bunch of time writing out checklists for all the things your future spouse
- [Trade in Your Dreams for Something Better](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/time-trade-dreams-something-better/) - "Don't give up on your dreams!" "Never stop dreaming!" I read articles like this all the time. And I guess, who can argue? Walt Disney said, "All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." That worked for him. What could be better than a dream like Walt Disney's? Ahhhh,
- [MOST READ Posts of 2024: Christian Date Night Advice](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/christian-date-night-advice-2024/) - Here's our MOST READ posts of 2024 featuring Christian Date Night Advice to empower you to grow spiritually and date wisely so you can marry well.
- [Will God Tell You Who To Marry?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/will-god-tell-you-who-to-marry/) - Many couples believe God told them who they would marry before they ever dated. Sort of like God’s call to marriage at first sight! Will it happen for you?
- [You Don't Have to Guess God's Will](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/guess-gods-will/) - Does trying to discern God's will sometimes seem like a guessing game to you? Like God could simply tell you what He wants you to do in a particular situation, but instead He chooses to hide His will in your circumstances and waits to see if you'll find it. And then rewards or punishes accordingly.
- [Want to Know God's Will? Check Your Heart!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/want-to-know-gods-will/) - Want to know God's will? Of course you do! Why else would you be reading this post. But do you really? If I'm honest, many times I say I want to know God's will, but what I really want is for Him to know my will. And to make it happen. Like pronto. But then
- [Stop Waiting for God's Will](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/waiting-for-gods-will/) - Do you feel like you've been waiting for God's will for some time now? Like maybe forever? Well stop! Stop waiting for God's will and simply walk in it. Simple enough? Right? Well, it is when you understand this simple truth: God's will for our lives is never found in the future. It can only
- [Where's God's Will? (2 More Questions to Finding It)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/wheres-gods-will/) - Where's God's will? Well, if you want to get the right answers, you first must begin with the right questions. However, we usually start with questions like this: Where should I go to school? Where is "the one" I've been searching for my whole life? Where can I be safe during this pandemic? While those
- [Want God's Will? 2 Questions to Ask Yourself](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/want-gods-will/) - Want to know God's will? Here are two questions to ask yourself. I know. You're probably thinking, "I'm not looking for more questions. I want ANSWERS!" I get it. I've been there. Heck, I'm there RIGHT NOW looking for God's will in certain situations. One of those being this bazaar place of corona-madness we all
- [How Not to Miss God's Will](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-not-to-miss-gods-will/) - Want to know how not to miss God's will? Maybe you're concerned about a certain relationship, career move, financial decision, or how to protect yourself during a pandemic. Or all of the above. Regardless of the area in which you're seeking God's will, here's the first of three truths you can take to the bank:
- [God's Will for Your Life: DON'T WORRY!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dont-worry/) - Want God's will for your life? Then here it is: don't worry! If you want to obey God's will for your life, you need only rest in His perfect provision, without troubling yourself with the future. Doesn't that sound wonderful? Where do I come up with such ideas? Jesus! For this reason I say to
- [Is Feminism Going to Keep You Single? [WOMEN ONLY!]](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/feminism-keep-women-single/) - Attn: all the single ladies! If you're looking for the right kind of man who will "put a ring on it," this post will help you answer the question: is feminism going to keep you single? But first two ground rules: Let's agree there are many factors contributing to the problem of delayed marriage. Indeed,
- [Begin the Year with a Fresh Perspective on Dating (Dating 101)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/a-fresh-perspective-on-dating/) - Check out not one, not two, but ten fresh perspectives on dating in this LoveEd series, Dating 101, and begin the year with a fresh perspective on dating. Or read a short synopsis of the first four in the content below the video. [Updated 1/1/25] Date with the Right Perspective(s) Whether your dating life isn't
- [Sex and Marriage](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-and-marriage/) - When it comes to sex and marriage, just how important is the sex? Will it make or break your future marriage? The answer to that question should impact how you date and who you date. How to Know If You’re Called to Marriage Are you called to marriage? Ironically, this question is best answered by
- [The Relational Reporter: Cure for Porn Addiction Discovered](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/cure-for-porn/) - Until now, the road to recovery from porn addiction has required extensive resources, personal commitment and social support systems. Some former addicts have had to install filtering software or ditch internet access completely. Some have had to share their struggle openly with understanding friends. Others have had to seek therapy or check into rehab facilities.
- [Should You Make Out?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/should-you-make-out/) - There’s an opportunity cost to spending your dating life pursuing physical intimacy; even if you keep your make out sessions PG-13. Or even PG.
- [How to Get to Know Someone on a Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-to-get-to-know-someone/) - While you might date someone for their reputation, if you end up married to them, you will have to live with their character. Every day. Until one of you dies.
- [How to Trust God with Your Dating Life](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/trust-god-with-your-dating-life/) - Do you want to trust God but just don’t feel like you can? Then you will find it almost impossible to obey God. We generally don’t obey people we don’t trust.
- [How Important is Chemistry in a Relationship?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-important-is-chemistry/) - Mutual attraction is something you eventually want to share in a dating relationship, but but how important is chemistry at first… and in the long run?
- [Are You Compatible?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/are-you-compatible/) - Are you compatible? If you're looking for someone with whom you could build a life-giving, lifelong marriage, you want to discern how compatible you are.
- [Should You Move In Together?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/should-you-move-in-together/) - Should you move in together? Can cohabitation prepare you for marriage? What are the risks?
- [Dating Don't: It's Never Loving to Date a Loner](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/the-person-its-not-nice-to-date/) - Don't date a loner? Isn't love just what a loner needs? And what's wrong with being a lone wolf, anyway? Isn't it better than being a wolf in sheep's clothing?
- [Why Christians Shouldn't be Unequally Yoked](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/unequally-yoked/) - Are you unequally yoked? Tempted to date an unbeliever? Remember the truth: the unbeliever needs a Savior. And. You. Aren’t. Him.
- [How to Tell You're Dating a Control Freak](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/control-freak/) - Of course you want to know how to tell if you're dating a control freak. Who wants their dating life to be held in the vice grip of a controller? The excerpt below from our latest dating resource, Date Like You Know What You’re Doing: Your DatePrep Guide, addresses that question, beginning with five signs
- [Don't Miss “The One”](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dont-miss-the-one/) - Julie and I shot the LoveEd episode above, to give you a peace about finding "the one." Then I wrote an entire dating book, to help you find them. You can check it out here, but below is just one brief except from that book. You Might Already Know “The One” Before we finish our
- [Love at First Sight](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/beware-of-love-at-first-sight/) - Is love at first sight really a thing? A thing you can hang your hat on? Or a dating relationship? Or your marriage hopes?
- [How to Date and Guard Your Heart](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-to-date-and-guard-your-heart/) - God commands us to guard our heart, but that may not mean what you think it means. You want to to date and guard your heart in a wise – NOT fearful – way.
- [How to Avoid Falling for the Wrong Person](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/wrong-person/) - To keep from falling for the wrong person consider this: while everyone is worthy of love, not everyone is ready to handle a serious dating relationship.
- [Got a Complicated Relationship?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/complicated-relationship/) - Got a complicated relationship? Particularly a dating relationship? Here's an analogy for why dating relationships so often become so complicated. Imagine I wanted to paint a picture of a lemming. Perhaps that doesn’t sound like an impossibility to you. Perhaps you’re an accomplished painter and have always raised lemmings as pets. In that case, you
- [How to Keep from Going Too Far](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/keep-from-going-too-far/) - How far is too far? Staying sexually pure requires logic. Not legalism! If you want to avoid a certain sin, you need to avoid moving toward that sin.
- [Should You be Hooking Up?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/should-you-be-hooking-up/) - Should you be hooking up? Ask Dr. Donna Freitas who surveyed hundreds of college co-eds who were busy doing it. Or if you can't ask her (and don't have the time to read her book) ask yourself these questions: How many past lovers will your future spouse have to compete with in bed? How many
- [Help! My Child Wants to Date!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/help-my-child-wants-to-date/) - Your child wants to date? What could go wrong? I mean besides everything. But what is your child really risking? Other than heartbreak, rejection, and regret. Well... it's not like people end up paying therapists $200/hour to figure out what went wrong in their love life. Oh wait. They do. And those $200 bills begin
- [Should You Follow Your Heart?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/should-you-follow-your-heart/) - Many a strong & true believer has been deceived by their own heart. Instead of knowing the will of God in romance they were actually only feeling their own will
- [Should You Date or Court?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-or-court/) - To date or to court? What Is Courtship Anyway? The Most Common Consequence of Courting. What Courtship and Cohabitation Have in Common.
- [How to Know God's Will for Your Dating Life](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/gods-will-for-your-dating-life/) - Want to know God's will for your dating life? Spoiler alert: if you determine to seek God’s will, you may still miss it. No, that wasn’t a typo.
- [Commitment Issues?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/commitment-issues/) - Got commitment issues? Perhaps even a flaming fear of commitment? This post will help you sus out what's going on and what you should do about it.
- [Would You Like to Date Like You Know What You're Doing?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/would-you-like-to-date-like-you-know/) - College student, Danya Parvin, shares her thoughts after reading Date Like You Know What You're Doing, the BRAND NEW dating book from Future Marriage University. She is interviewed by Doug Griffin, Afternoon Co-host of 94 FM the Fish during An Evening with Future Marriage University, our 2023 fundraiser. “This is a Christian dating book void
- [It's Worth the Wait!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/worth-wait/) - Marriage Log: Day 7,705 (December 18, 2014) What do Christmas, adoption, new carpet, marriage, and sex all have in common? They're all worth the wait. Christmas Now that I'm in my 40s, Christmas seems to come around every few days or so. Not so when I was four. Back then every day in December seemed
- [How to Spot a Wolf](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexual-things-03/) - I know we've been talking about the modern fairly tale, Stranger Things, but I have a question about a far older story. Q: What was up with Little Red Riding Hood's granny? I mean seriously, was her aging face truly so hideous (and more to the point: hairy) it was indistinguishable from that of a
- [Stop Showing Off and Date!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/drive-safely-arrive-safely/) - [updated: 9/11/19] STOP SHOWING OFF and date! That's the simple version of what I would say if I could to the 1st date FAIL which caps off our series TOP10 Signs you're on a Bad First Date. Truth is, I’ve had such a sadistically fun time with these sad stories, but alas it comes down
- [Captain America Wants You to Learn from His Mistake](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/captain-america-nude-pic/) - Captain America wants you to learn from his mistake. What mistake is that, you ask? Saving nude images on his phone. In case you missed it, last weekend Captain America star, Chris Evans, shared on his Instagram story what began as an innocent video of him playing Heads Up! But at the tail end of
- [The Sexual Purity Paradox](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexual-purity-paradox/) - [updated: 8/14/19] The Sexual Purity Paradox consists of two truths which seem to contradict one another, but are never-the-less true. And these two truths help explain why so many teens who pledge to remain virgins until marriage wind up giving up before college graduation. And by, "giving up," I'm not just talking about their virginity,
- [Why Good Girls Give In](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexualthings-07/) - Every day another good girl gives into sexual advances she told herself she never would. The MeToo movement has highlighted the sexual predatory side of this reality, and we touched on that as well previously in our Sexual Things series, but right now I'm talking about why girls give in when there isn't the kind
- [Kicking Porn where the Sun Don't Shine](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/kicking-porn/) - [updated: 11/6/19] Are you tired of your love-hate so-called relationship with porn? You know, the one where you love porn, but have finally discovered it feels nothing for you whatsoever. Which then kinda makes you hate porn. And yourself. If you're not quite there yet, I encourage you to read this post: Why Porn and
- [Do You You Feel Invisible?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/feel-invisible/) - Do You You Feel Invisible? Really lonely for Attention? Just can't get enough attention? How many selfies does it take to get the attention you want? We address all these questions in our LoveEd series, Relation^ology, where we identify the greatest relational need of our heart and then ID the counterfeits we seek out or
- [How to ROCK Your Relationships](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-to-rock-your-relationships/) - I had a dream a couple years back. Yes it was a little weird and it had a cheesy ending, but it was a dream, so don't judge. I was speaking on some college campus (so far, not strange), but the students were simply not paying attention. In fact, they were talking so loudly amongst
- [Does God Accept You Just the Way You Are?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/wonderful-love/) - Does God Accept You Just the Way You Are? Should the important people in your life? Should you accept others just the way they are? Everyone has an innate need to be accepted, but what if the acceptance you're looking for isn't realistic? Or healthy? That's what we discuss in this episode of LoveEd. A
- [Guard Your Heart (Somebody Asked Me Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/guard-your-heart-somebody-asked-me-part-1/) - Simply being asked out on a date isn’t sufficient reason to accept the invite. What are the motives of the other person? And what are your own dating motives?
- [TOP 5 Things Sex has in Common with the Summer Olympics](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-summer-olympics/) - It's time for the TOP 5 Things Sex has in common with the Summer Olympics. Ready? On your mark... Get set... Go!
- [TOP 5 Things Sex has in Common with Labor Day](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-labor-day/) - [updated: 8/29/20] More fun than sharing lunch break with your buddies atop an I-beam 840 feet in the air, here are the TOP 5 Things Sex has in Common with Labor Day! #5: They're about unions. No labor unions. No labor day. Nuf sed. Sex is about a union too. Indeed, it both symbolizes and
- [Deal in the Currency of Truth](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/currency-of-truth/) - OK, so we've all seen those romantic comedies where the essential tension of the story is created by the inability of one or both individuals falling in love to tell the truth. And many times it's pretty funny to watch. However... Unless you're only looking to establish a dating life that people can laugh about,
- [What a True Confession Sounds Like](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/true-confession/) - We need to know what a true confession sounds like for at least one important reason. A true apology is necessary to reestablish trust, because when one has been wronged it naturally creates a breech of trust. Though we are commanded by Jesus to forgive those who wronged us – even if they never confess
- [What's Chemistry Got to Do with It?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/whats-chemistry-got-to-do-with-it/) - I was never good at chemistry. I blame my high school chemistry teacher. Here's an example of the kind of lab "instructions" I remember our class receiving from her: "OK, students. The important thing is to make sure to add the illudium pu-36 before the heavy water... I mean you have to add the heavy
- [How To Avoid A Breakup Before You Even Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/avoid-breakup-before-you-date/) - [The following is a guest post from Coach Lee, a new acquaintance of mine who helps people get their ex-girl/boyfriend back. Though he usually coaches people after a breakup, for this Date Night Advice (DNA) post he's going to share how to avoid a breakup before you even date! Yes! You want to read closely!
- [Stop Heartbreak before it Starts](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/stop-heartbreak/) - "I've never seen him like this before!" "He's changed so much since he met you!" "He's like a totally different person now!" Those words from Barry's* family and friends made Sandy* feel so good; so special; as if the way Barry treated her didn't make her feel special enough. Those sweet words were also the
- [Seek to be (and Find) a Good Friend (Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/seek-to-be-and-find-a-good-friend-part-1/) - Know what can ruin a good date? Romance. Now don’t get me wrong. Romantic love can be wonderful! My wife, Julie, and I shared it all through our dating and engagement and still enjoy it after over 18 years of marriage… though not continually. Now it comes and goes. “Oh how sad,” you might declare.
- [What We Believe about Sex](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-beliefs/) - Though this blog is entitled Date Night Advice (DNA) we talk about sex as much as we do dating here, and after doing so for over a decade we thought it high time to share with you our core beliefs about sex. Beliefs are powerful things. They define us, guide us, and shape us. Our
- [Is Porn Going to Keep You Single?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/porn-keep-you-single/) - Not sure you want to give up your love affair with pornography, but you are sure you want to be married before you reach your 70s? Maybe even before you're 30*? If that's you, you owe it to yourself to answer this important question: Is porn going to keep you single? Here are six other
- [How to Ask Someone Out](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-to-ask-someone-out/) - [updated: 3/31/20] This post isn't going to dogmatically tell you how to ask someone out, but it will give you some ideas and perspective for how you might go about it in a way that won't resemble anything you've ever seen in any movie. Because movies aren't real. And you want a dating life that
- [TOP10 Signs Someone is NOT "The One"](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/not-the-one/) - How do you know someone is "the one"? If that question weighs heavy on your mind, I can help lift that burden. Quite a bit! Of course, I can't actually pick "the one" for you from a lineup. Not for free anyway. I'm kidding. I couldn't even do it for cash. Unless the price was
- [TOP5 Signs Someone is NOT "The One"](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/not-the-one-part-2/) - [updated: 10/21/19] How do you know someone is “the one”? It's quite the popular question. Especially in a society where romance is pursued as early as middle school, yet marriage doesn't happen until somewhere around 30 (average age at first marriage is now 30 for men and 28 for women). That gives you nearly two
- [How NOT to Get a Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-not-to-get-a-date/) - "That's how NOT to get a date." Thus was my thought when I saw the picture of the yellow billboard on Instagram. In gigantic black capital letters it read, "AVAILABLE," and then listed the number you would call if you wanted to inquire about placing an ad on said billboard. Of course, I've never seen
- [Before You Find “The One,” Find Yourself FIRST! (Belonging Part 3)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/before-you-find-the-one-find-yourself-first-belonging-part-3/) - [updated 2/1/22] This week we wrap up our discussion of #4 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date: Belonging. I promised to offer some practical suggestions for anchoring your identity securely before dating. After all... It’s pretty pointless to be out there searching for some mythological “ONE” when you don’t even know who you are.
- [What's Your Relationship Status? (Status Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/whats-your-relationship-status/) - “I think it would be in my best interests to go out with someone more popular, better-looking, who drives a nicer car.” – Beth to her then-ex-boyfriend, Lane in Better Off Dead* With that we introduce #5 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date: “Status.” The above quote is funny because who would ever actually
- [Waiting for 'The One'?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/waiting-for-the-one/) - In light of your desire to find a life partner sometime before you die (or even just your first girlfriend or boyfriend), let me ask this question: what if the needs you’d like God to meet through an intimate human relationship, God wants to meet some other way? Have you given God the freedom to
- [God Will Never Leave You, But...](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/god-will-never-leave-you-but-he-might-disappoint-you/) - [updated: 1/19/19] Another reason you might find it difficult to trust God is probably because He’s let you down so many times. (Did I really just write that?) Yes, I did. God has let me down more times than I can count. I’ve felt forgotten by Him, tricked by Him and ripped off by Him.
- [When God doesn't Make Sense](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/when-god-doesnt-make-sense/) - [updated: 1/9/19] Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment
- [Are you Already Cheating?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/are-you-already-cheating/) - [updated: 2/13/19] Consider the following scenarios: Situation #1: You’re in class taking a test. You’re stumped on question two (quite the auspicious beginning). However, you know the brainiac next to you always has the right answer. They’ve also left that right answer uncovered when you glance over. And question three and question four and… Hopefully
- [Do You Know what Your Problem Really Is?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/your-problem/) - Case 1: You have watery eyes and runny nose. That’s a problem so you take medicine to fix it. Wait! If you read the packaging of the medication it lists “watery eyes and runny nose” as symptoms. So is your excess fluid production a problem or a symptom? Well, both, but... If you only treat
- [Stop Hurting Yourself!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/stop-hurting-yourself/) - [updated: 1/28/19] One of my favorite exhibits at our local zoo is the aviary where they keep the Rainbow Lorikeets. As the name would lead you to suspect, these birds display all the colors of the rainbow in their multicolored plumage. They are remarkably beautiful. Except for Igor. (Yes, the zookeepers have named each bird.)
- [If You had that Special Someone…](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/that-special-someone/) - I only recognized how much I had bought into our culture's pervasive false romance meta-narrative after 12 years of marriage. My self discovery came courtesy of Michael Knight and his tricked-out Trans Am, KITT. For those who were living in a nuclear bomb shelter throughout the 80s – or who weren’t yet born – Knight
- [The Key to Happiness](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/key-to-happiness/) - At a recent Future Marriage University (FMU) live event I suggested this: expectations hold the key to happiness. I know. I was supposed to say Jesus holds the key to happiness. Only Jesus never said that. From a worldly perspective, you might think bacon would hold the key to happiness. Or chocolate. Or donuts. Or
- [The Truth about Happily Ever After](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/happily-ever-after/) - We’ve got to stop blaming everyone and everything for our lack of contentment. It’s time we own up to the fact that we’ve chosen not to be content. Unless, of course, these words are being read by a small group of starving, homeless orphans in an isolated, undeveloped country. Ravaged by civil war. In the
- [What Are You HANKerin’ For?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/what-are-you-hankerin-for/) - Ever seen the Starbucks’ Double-shot Espresso “Hank” commercial? (If not, watch it below.) In it, some hapless-looking 20-something named Hank partakes of the Starbucks’ canned beverage and winds up with an actual cheering section chanting his name wherever he goes. Now, what does a double-shot of espresso really promise you? Perhaps your favorite coffee flavor?
- [Why do Nice Guys (and Girls) get Friend-Zoned?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/nice-guys-get-friend-zoned/) - Every day another nice guy (or girl) finds their love boat shipwrecked on the shores of Just Friends Beach. But why? This post is for everyone out there with a great personality who feels they've been friend-zoned unfairly, because I'm going to explain the most common (yet counter-intuitive) process by which this kind of friend-zoning
- [The Blind Spots that get You Friend-Zoned](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/friend-zone-blind-spots/) - Do you know the blind spots that get you friend-zoned? Of course you can't see your blind spots, or they wouldn't be blind spots, but do you know them? Because if you don't, it's going to be awfully difficult to avoid the friend zone. In our current Date Night Advice (DNA) series, The Friend Zone
- [Don't Friend-Zone Yourself](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/friend-zoned-yourself/) - Usually when we think of the friend zone it's something imposed on the friend-zonee by the friend-zoner, but what if the manner in which you relate to attractive members of the opposite sex results in you essentially friend-zoning yourself? In this post, we're going to explain how this happens to many and how to make
- [Dealing with Rejection in the Friend Zone](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/friend-zoned-bitterness-2/) - [updated: 9/30/20] No doubt about it. It hurts to tell someone you have feelings for them, and find out they feel only friendship for you. That's why we're going to talk about dealing with rejection in the friend zone, so you can learn from and grow through that experience and move forward. After all... You
- [The 4th and 5th Reason You get Friend Zoned](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/friend-zoned-4th-5th-reason/) - “Why do I get friend zoned?” That's one question I never asked myself in my single days. But that's only because it wasn't called the "friend zone" back then. I got the "let's just be friends" talk just the same. Many, many times. Until Julie. She was the first girl to like me back, so
- [Were You Led On? Don't get Bitter in the Friend Zone!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/friend-zoned-bitterness-1/) - Are you sitting in the aftermath of a relationship that never quite materialized wondering, "Was I led on?" Is the friend zone making you bitter? I hope to empower you to see the friend zone in a different light, so you can get better instead of bitter. So you can move on with your life,
- [3 Reasons You get Friend Zoned](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/friend-zoned-3-reasons/) - [updated: 3/4/20] "Why do I get friend zoned?" Ever wondered that? Perhaps it's happened to you just recently or maybe you always seem to fall for people who never seem to fall for you. Well, I may not fall for you, but I most definitely feel for you. Because, back in my pre-married life, I
- [How to Avoid the Friend Zone](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/avoid-the-friend-zone/) - Ah, the age-old question: how to avoid the friend zone. Everyone knows what the friend zone is, but no one seems to understand how they wind up there. And yet so many do! Could you imagine if Newark, NJ was like that? Millions of people just waking up to find themselves in the city of
- [Why Your Relationships are NOT Working](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/relationships-not-working/) - Of course, I don't even know you, so the idea that I would know why your relationships aren't working might come across a bit presumptuous. Heck, I don't even know if you've ever been in a relationship, but after studying this subject matter for as long as I have, I find the same roadblocks to
- [Love Assassins: What You Don't See CAN Kill Your Relationships](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/love-assassins/) - Ever had a relationship implode for no apparent reason? What if there was a reason? And what if understanding the reason not only would have saved your last relationship, but enabled you to thrive in that relationship? And thrive in relationships in general? The fact is... If we're not careful, the mindsets we develop over
- [You Are Not Alone](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/you-are-not-alone/) - If you're going to date in a healthy and whole way, you have to date in the reality that you are not alone. That's why belonging, while it may be one of the most popular motivations for dating, is also one of the most dangerous. Posts Written for the Lonely You are not alone.
- [The Secret to Learning to Live Within Your Limits](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dunder-mifflin/) - Want to know the secret to learning to live within your limits? Particularly the limits of your influence on the world? We laugh at corporate politics, throw our hands up about national politics, but the politics we find hardest to navigate are those between family members: parental authority, sibling rivalry, and especially the marital relationship.
- [The First Step to Changing the World](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/changing-the-world-2/) - What's the First Step to Changing the World? Back in the 80s, Tears for Fears declared everybody wants to change the world. Well in this LoveEd episode, we share the first step you need to take. Changing the World the Only Way You Can What's wrong with wanting to change the world? Absolutely nothing.
- [Beware of the Desire to Make a Difference](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/so-you-want-to-make-a-difference/) - In this post I want to urge you to beware of the desire to make a difference. Does your heart yearn to have an impact, to change lives, and leave the world a better place after you're gone? What if this desire held the potential to sabotage your future marriage? I see it happen all
- [Do You Want to be Accepted or Known? Pick 1.](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/intimacy-and-performance/) - Do You Want to be Accepted or Known? Pick 1. Why do you have to pick? Because what happens when my desire for unconditional acceptance is thwarted? Specifically by the people to whom I'm closest? What if they won't accept me just the way I am, because in spite of (or rather because of) their
- [Beware of Friends Who Aren't](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/beware-dark-side-cliques-contract-friends/) - In this post I want warn you to beware of friends who aren't. Because, if you're like me, you've always longed to hang out with people who "get you." And not just "get you," but embrace everything about you. Even those things you're not exactly proud of. And by that I'm not referring to personal
- [Stop Trying to Get God's Acceptance](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/you-can-stop-trying/) - In this post, I want to encourage you to stop trying to get God's acceptance. To be perfectly frank, I've spent the vast majority of my life acting as if God were a demanding task master; a supreme being who was extremely hard to please. After all, He does say something somewhere about being perfect
- [Lonely for Attention?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/lonely-attention/) - Do you long for attention? Might that be why you compulsively text at every lonely moment? Even when you have nothing to say? Or why you flirt? With every single member of the opposite sex? Why you tweet your every random thought? And then pray for retweets? Could an attention addiction drive you to dress
- [How Many Selfies Does it Take to get the Attention You Want?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/many-selfies-take-get-attention-want/) - "He only wants attention." When I was young I thought that's all I wanted. But that's because I didn't know myself. In fact, I had no idea what I wanted out of relationships. Do you know yourself? Do you know what you're looking for in relationships? Do you know how deeply your soul longs to
- [Can't Get Enough Attention?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/attention/) - May I have your attention? Good. Because that's our first intimacy impostor: attention. As a child I suffered from a unique form of Attention Deficit Disorder that goes by the letters: SQUIRREL! OK. I'm kidding. The actual letters are RADD. And, yes, I am a child of the 80s when everything that was awesome was
- [Hidden Danger in Stranger Things](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/danger-stranger-things/) - [updated: 9/25/21] We need to talk about a hidden danger in the Netflix mega-hit series, Stranger Things, but don't worry. There are NO PLOT SPOILERS in this post. In fact, this hidden danger was introduced right away in the first episode of season one. Briefly, subtly, but revealed none the less. A secret agenda, if
- [What Sex is About](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/what-sex-is-about/) - Want to know what sex is about? We deliver practical, Biblical answers to your questions about sex in the LoveEd YouTube playlist above. We tackle the topic of setting boundaries and why they can be so difficult to maintain. We discuss how far is too far and whether that’s even the right question to ask.
- [TOP10 Things Sex has in Common with New Years Eve](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top10-things-sex-common-new-years/) - We first published the TOP10 Things Sex has in Common with New Years Eve ten years ago, but they keep dropping the ball in the same city every year, so...
- [Stop Asking for Forgiveness and Receive It](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/stop-asking-for-forgiveness/) - What if you asked me for a million dollars and I said, “Sure. To what Swiss bank account would you like me to wire those funds?” Twenty-four hours later you check with your bank, asking, “Habe ich das Geld erhalten?” Which is, of course, German for “Did the transfer go through?” To which they report,
- [Know What You're Building BEFORE You Date!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/warning-preparing-for-marriage-is-nothing-like-building-a-bike/) - [updated: 2/15/19] Did you know you already have a rough blueprint of what your future marriage will be like? You do! Know where you got it? Your parents. Don’t remember getting it? Well, before you call and ask about it, understand this blueprint was never printed on large, thin, blue pages. That’s not how parents
- [Don't Fall in Love. Grow!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/growing-in-love-with-john-jesus-and-julie/) - [updated: 3/2/19] One of the most precious dialogues you’ll ever witness in any movie takes place in Mr. Holland’s Opus. In the scene, the wife of the main character, Jack Holland, reveals to him that she’s pregnant (when they weren’t trying). He’s clearly in shock upon hearing the news, which of course, is never the
- [Is Marriage Worth It?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/im-not-sure-i-want-to-be-married/) - [updated: 3/15/19] Future Marriage University actually started out in our living room as a 14-week marriage class led by my wife and I for singles. In these intimate same-gender groups, students felt comfortable to say what they really thought. And many times we heard comments like this: “If marriage is really going to be that
- [How to Keep from “Growing Apart”](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-to-keep-from-growing-apart/) - [updated: 5/8/19] How many times have you heard these words from a married or divorced friend, “We just grew apart,” as if it was completely out of their control? Or how about, “Our love just died,” as if “love” was supposed to just naturally carry on without any effort, without any nourishment or care? What
- [Why God's Will can be so Hard to Find](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/why-god-is-hard-to-see-besides-the-fact-that-hes-invisible/) - [updated: 5/20/19] Why do we have such a hard time discerning God’s will in the midst of our circumstances? Because when we’re trying to discern God’s will that way, we’re focused on the question or problem at hand. God is not. I didn’t say God doesn’t care about your problems; but... Your problem isn’t God’s
- [Seek God while He may be Found](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/seek-god/) - Determine to grow spiritually now, because you may not be able to later. No, this isn’t the old-time religion appeal, “If you don’t come to Jesus today you might walk out of here and get hit by a Mack truck and then it will be too late.” Odds are against a Mack truck just around
- [19 Truths I Wish I had Known before I Turned 19](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/before-i-turned-19/) - I can remember when I was 18, like it was only yesterday (give or take 30+ years or so). Amongst other recollections, I had quite the hairstyle. Short and spiked on top, shaved on the side, and long in the back. Of course, today they call that a mullet, but back then we called it
- [Why God Cares Who You Sleep With](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/god-cares-who-you-sleep-with/) - In his latest book, pastor/author, Sam Allberry, poses the question: Why does God care who I sleep with? Has that thought occurred to you? It's a question the masses are asking. Including the masses who attend mass. As well as those who go to Protestant churches. Indeed, 27% of evangelicals (age 20-49) support cohabitation. That
- [You Can Move in Together, but...](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/can-move-together/) - It used to be called "shacking up." Now it's just the "next stage" in a modern relationship. (To which I ask, "How well are modern relationships working out for us?") Ever daydreamed of moving in with your significant other? I could share all the stats in the world to convince you otherwise, but you probably
- [My Worst Enemy when I was 13](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/my-worst-enemy/) - When I was 13 these things did not exist: YouTube Plastic bottled water Microwave dinners Fear of alien invaders from Mexico But we did have these things: Television Ocean water TV dinners Fear of alien invaders from space Indeed, when I was 13, one of the coolest things on television was a miniseries about alien
- [How Would Jesus Date? (#HWJD)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-would-jesus-date/) - Have you ever asked yourself, "How would Jesus date?" Yes. I'm aware Jesus never dated. In fact, no one in Jesus' day dated. Arranged marriage was the deal back then. But how would Jesus date? In other words... If Jesus is still around today, and actually alive and living in you, shouldn't that impact how
- [Is it Love? (3 FALSE Signs of a Great Relationship)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/is-it-love/) - Are you in a dating relationship (or wanting to be in a dating relationship)? If so, would the following also describe you: You have a brain and so you want your relationship to be headed somewhere You have a heart and so you don't want anyone to get hurt in the process If so, then
- [Sexually Incompatible?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexual-compatibility-in-place/) - I want to address the common fear among Christians that if you save sex for the wedding night you could wind up sexually incompatible, by helping you put sexual compatibility in its place. It's already hard enough to curb your passions when you're in a serious dating relationship where you're both crazy about each other.
- [More Important than Sexual Compatibility (Sex Part 7)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexually-compatible-sex-part-7/) - What could be more important than sexual compatibility in your future marriage? After all, this particular “compatibility” seems to have become the logical justification behind the need for lovebirds to engage in sexually stimulating activities before marriage; even Bible-believing, Holy-Spirit-filled lovebirds. The question seems paralyzing to many: “How can you tell if you’re sexually compatible
- [Is Sex a Performance? (Sex Part 8)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-performance-sex-part-8/) - Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #2: Sexual Intercourse We’re talking about sexual compatibility, which I define this way: the harmonious union of your own unique sexual cravings with that of your partner. Last week I attempted to diffuse all the tension surrounding sexual compatibility by pointing out that, practically speaking,
- [Are You Fleeing or Freeing? (Sex Part 4)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/fleeing-freeing/) - Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #2: Sexual Intercourse Last week we faced the facts and disclosed that, instead of some specific act (or acts), sex is a conversation. And living in this reality, we discover then that our freedom from sexual sin is found, not in a list of dos
- [Sex is Like Atomic Energy (Sex Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-is-like-atomic-energy/) - Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #2: Sexual Intercourse What is the #2 dumbest reason to date? It’s the one you’ve been waiting for. In fact, it’s the one you’re told to wait for. And keep waiting for. And yet the one thing you just can’t seem to wait for. Wait
- [My Virtue and Miami Vice](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/miami-vice/) - When I was 13, you could say I was obsessed with right and wrong; virtue and vice. That is, I was obsessed with my virtue and other people's vices. You see, I was a good kid. A very good kid. One of those good kids you might have hated back when you were 13. Unless
- [More Important Than Getting Their Number](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/more-important-than-their-number/) - If you're like most, you have two hopes for your dating life: That it will be enjoyable (define this how you will: fun, exciting, romantic, crazy, unexpected, sweet, mysterious, all the above) That it will be successful (this assumes no heartbreak, and for most it would assume ending in a "happily ever after" marriage with
- ["You Got Fine Written All Over You" (Pt III)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/you-got-fine-written-all-over-you-pt-iii/) - [updated: 9/10/18] Our modern culture encourages very little personal growth while it simultaneously drives us to “improve our look” with the urgency of a dog in heat. Lose weight! Grow hair, color hair (or eliminate hair)! Tan! Tuck! Tighten! Tease! And then obsess over what you’ll wear on that perfect body. As one billboard in
- [About The Falling Away of Joshua Harris](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/joshua-harris/) - I was heartbroken to hear of Joshua Harris's recent announcement of both his divorce and "falling away" from faith in Christ. Truth be known, I was already concerned about what was going on in Harris's life when he began making the documentary condemning his previous life's work. It seemed like "he doth protest too much."
- [Been Rejected? How to Rise Above!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/after-theyre-done-with-you-part-2/) - Been rejected? On a date? The post below (updated 6/7/23) was inspired by the TOP10 Signs You're on a Bad First Date, which you can read at the previous hyperlink, or watch in the FMUniversity YouTube playlist below. Been rejected? On a date? Ever experienced something like this real life first date FAIL: Your date
- [TOP10 Things Sex has in Common with Graduation (Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top10-things-sex-common-graduation/) - Distinguished guests, colleagues, families, friends, and members of this year's graduating class, it is now my pleasure to present: TOP10 Things Sex has in Common with Graduation. #10: It's a little weird You're probably thinking what's weird about graduation or sex? The former is prestigious and the latter passionate. And everyone wants both. At least
- [Are Your Dating Expectations Ninja-Size?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/set-realistic-expectations/) - This weekend's DNA starts with a funny conversation shared between my Dad and our middle son, James, who is having a ninja party this afternoon for his 9th birthday. What's a ninja birthday party have to do with your dating life? Patience, grasshopper! The back story starts with the fact that you can't have a
- [Are You Already Married... to Porn?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/already-married-porn/) - Know what probably saved me from a serious porn addiction? The internet. You see, the internet wasn't around in my teens and 20s when my hormones were raging like a mad bull in heat. So I couldn't get ready access with complete anonymity. And that was my salvation. But if you're in your teens or
- [What Marriage Vows Cannot Vow](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/marriage-vows-cannot-vow/) - Know what will kill your joy in life every time? Unmet expectations. But know what can set you up for a lifetime of satisfaction? Expectations met. One might infer from this that the secret to happiness lies in figuring out how to get your expectations met. Makes sense, right? Except for this one itsy bitsy
- [5 Truths You should Know before You Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/five-truths-b4ud8/) - [updated: 9/21/18] Q: Is dating a challenging endeavor fraught with unseen peril? A: YES, without a doubt. And those who fail to approach dating with this reality firmly understood pay the penalty in time, many of them without grasping why they keep getting hurt or why their hurts never seem to heal. Q: Can dating
- [How Boys become Sexual Predators](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexual-things-02/) - “Boys learn at a young age, from pop culture, their elders, and their peers, that it’s normal to have to convince a woman to have sex, and that repeated small violations of her boundaries are an acceptable way to do so—perhaps even the only way.” – Anna North in Vox about the Aziz Ansari story
- [Look Before You Leap Into Dating!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/look-before-you-leap-into-dating-somebody-asked-me-part-4/) - [updated: 3/31/20] #7 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date, Somebody Asked Me, confronts the haphazard manner in which many of us approach dating. Somebody asked me, because they thought I was cute and nice I thought they were cute and nice and so I said, “Yes.” We started dating. Bleh! Sounds like relationships on
- [Want to Earn Someone's Love?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/earn-someones-love/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: 3 Truths about Love Truth #2 By 3rd grade, I was already working hard to earn the love of a pretty girl I could call "my own." "My girlfriend!" "My baby." "My precious!" (Said in a Gollum-like voice.) Sadly, that desire left me feeling like a loser for many years.
- [Your Boyfriend Caught by Porn? Read this before it's too Late!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/boyfriend-caught-by-porn/) - [updated: 1/13/23] Dear Girlfriend (who caught your boyfriend with porn), So you your boyfriend has a thing for pornography. I'm so sorry. But I'm glad too. Sorry it's true, but glad you know the truth now rather than later. Because your boyfriend's porn use directly impacts you. It's not just a private matter between him
- [Is it Better to Marry than to Burn?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/marry-than-to-burn/) - [updated: 1/13/23] Do you know a Christian couple struggling to reign in their sexual passions; wondering, "Is it better to marry than to burn?" Should they just go ahead and get married? The Apostle Paul seems to say as much, as he writes in 1 Cor 7:9, "But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should
- [Biggest Dating Mistake Christians Make (Spoiler Alert: It's NOT Sex!)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/an-urgent-message-for-the-spiritually-mature/) - [updated: 3/11/20] What I’m about to say may not be very popular, but watch the popular decisions of the popular people you know and you’ll find things generally don’t turn out too well for them in the end. This may not be what you want to hear, but please receive the following words in the
- [How to Pray for Your Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-to-pray-for-your-date/) - [updated: 3/30/21] GOT a date? Pray about it! Like right now. If you're a child of God, He's very interested in how your date goes. That's the way a good heavenly Father is. Why? Because He knows when you're dating you're dealing with your heart and that's the most important part of you (not the
- [How the Independence Illusion Kills Marriages](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/independence-illusion/) - For all of the faith our modern culture puts in science and materialism and all the talk of being “real,” we believe some fairly ridiculous things. Take this idea of independence — the belief that we can do it on our own, even that we should do it on our own. At least, we should
- [Should You Give Up Your Virginity on Prom Night?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/virginity-on-prom-night/) - [updated: 4/20/21] Prom night. Perhaps the biggest night in the lives of those who attend. The biggest night so far, that is. The exhilaration of the "biggest night of your life" can inspire teenagers to do crazy things, like, oh I don't know, give up their virginity. Should they? Here are three reasons why you
- [Do You Know THAT Guy?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/know-that-guy/) - So I'm at a singles conference talking with this guy. He's telling me about a relationship with this girl whom he had dated years ago, but after being treated poorly by her things fell apart. Now, years later, she's come back around and they're dating again and he's wondering what I think about that. So
- [Porn is Like...](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/porn-is-like/) - [updated: 7/17/19] I used to like porn. OK. Honestly? I LOVED IT! Hardly anything in the world makes me feel the way I felt looking at porn. Donald Miller nailed it when he recounted his thoughts after seeing porn for the first time. "I felt the nervous energy of a river furling through my lower
- [Don't Stare Directly at the Romance](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dont-stare-romance/) - Two. Unforgettable. Minutes. Though this week's total solar eclipse lasted barely .1389% (or 1/720th) of the 24-hour day that was August 21, 2017, here's how some of my Facebook friends described it, using only three words: "Wow. Just wow." – Kevin "God is clever." (My runner up was "It's getting dark.") – Jim "Sun corona
- [What We Believe about Relationships](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/relationship-beliefs/) - A young single guy who found us on YouTube this year challenged me to write out the core beliefs which underpin everything we do at Future Marriage University (FMU). The result is four short lists of values: one each for the topics of sex, dating, relationships, and marriage. Even after 1.8 billion drafts what I've
- [What We Believe about Dating](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dating-beliefs/) - I've invested much soul-searching this year, honing the foundational beliefs behind everything we teach at Future Marriage University (FMU), and in this post I wanted to share what we believe about dating. One might ask, "But why? What's the big deal with dating?" Well part of that answer begins with FMU's middle name: marriage. Because
- [Adventures in Dating with a Wingman](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/wingman/) - [updated: 1/13/22] Instead of a game you have to play or a trial you have to endure, we believe dating should be an adventure you're called to embark upon. However, like any adventure, you can't expect to succeed without the right crew. And the right crew is always going to include at least one reliable
- [Can You have Your Porn and a Relationship Too?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/porn-and-relationship/) - Can You have Your Porn and a Relationship Too? That question was inspired by another question I saw on the Instagram story of Fight Against Porn, and here it is: How long does someone need to be porn-free before a relationship? "Great query," I thought. And apparently I wasn't the only one, because many weighed
- [What We Believe about Marriage](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/marriage-beliefs/) - We don't usually talk about marriage at Future Marriage University (FMU), because we are called to speak to students and young adults for whom marriage is merely a future hope, not necessarily a current focus. Therefore we concentrate our teaching on the topics of sex, dating, and relationships. For those represent the present interests, desires,
- [TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with Halloween](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-common-halloween/) - [updated: 10/28/20] They're back: The TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with Halloween! Just like the Demogorgon in Hawkins, IN, or Jason in the hockey mask, or the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in Ghostbusters, no matter what you do, they just won't die. They keep on coming back around. However, this TOP5 is a heck
- [Can You Change Them?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/can-you-change-them/) - It's a common situation: you've been dating for some time, and the sheen has worn off. A lot. And so you're wondering, "Should I break up with them?" But then again, you've been dating for so long, and starting over sucks, and you don't really know if something better will come along anyway, so perhaps
- ["You Got Fine Written All Over You!" (Part I)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/you-got-fine-written-all-over-you-part-i/) - [updated 2/13/21] "Are you a parking ticket? Cuz you got 'fine' written all over you." Is the deliverer of this pick-up line saying: A) I feel like I could get into trouble with you. B) You look like you have expensive tastes. C) I literally view you as a fee I'm going to have to
- [How to Save a Marriage](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-to-save-a-marriage/) - [updated: 12/17/18] The December I first published this post about how to save a marriage, I was grieving for three good friends of mine, who's marriages were struggling to stay afloat. Three years later, I'm still grieving for the marriages of two of those guys. As for the third? I'm grieving his recent divorce. The
- [Let's Change the Culture!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/culture-change/) - [updated: 11/23/20] Meet Neal. He's 18 and can't wait for college. In fact, he's already been accepted by his fall-back school and watches the mail daily for that acceptance letter from his first choice. Of course, he's not particularly anxious to get started at a 9-5 desk job and start "adulting," but he does want
- [Dating Wisdom I Wish I had Known](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/wish-i-had-known/) - Marriage Log: Day 8,496 Whether you endured the passing of another Valentine's Day, or delighted in it, you can't miss it's arrival. It's like a loud, Italian relative coming to dinner. (Hey, my Father-in-law is a loud, Italian relative.) And since my birthday is Valentine's Day, it never catches me off guard. Not even after
- [29 Different Areas of Compatibility](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/29-different-areas-of-compatibility/) - Imagine this job interview… Interviewer: So, Mr. Johnson, you’re here because you want to work for our company. Job Applicant: Yes sir, Mr. Gates. Interviewer: Well, why don’t you tell me what caught your interest in our firm. Job Applicant: Well, Bob is actually the guy that introduced me to your business. He works in
- [A Conversation with God (about PORN)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/conversation-god-porn/) - [updated: 11/2/20] Me: Hey God I got some more sin to confess. God: You sure do! Confess away. I'm ready. (1 John 1:8-10) Me: Lying. God: Forgiven! Me: Stealing? God: Say no more. Me: Rage, covetousness, gossip. God: Check, check, check! Me: Think that's it. God: What about the porn? Me: I don't really think
- [The 5 Sex Lies](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/five-sex-lies/) - [updated: 9/23/20] I know there are far more than five sex lies. After all, let's face it, sex has become a monstrous hot mess! How did we get here? "They tell you sex has become a mess because it was hushed up. But for the last twenty years it has not been hushed up. It
- [Are You Afraid of Commitment? Or Something Else?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/afraid-of-commitment/) - [updated: 8/26/20] When it comes to pursuing a serious relationship, are you afraid of commitment? Or something else? Fear of commitment is a popular explanation for why someone might not want to take a relationship further. But many times it's not the correct explanation. It's not that I think people are lying when they say
- [Sex, Love & John Crist](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-love-john-crist/) - [This was our most-read DNA post published last year. If you missed it then, DON'T miss it this time. The story may be old news, but the truth shared in this post is as timeless as it is relevant for our culture TODAY!] So it's happened again. The revelation of sexual impropriety of yet another
- [Intercourse: It's Not Just a City in Pennsylvania](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/welcome-intercourse/) - [updated: 8/11/20*] Who would name a blog post, "Intercourse: It’s Not Just a City in Pennsylvania?" Who would name a city in Pennsylvania: Intercourse? I for one am just glad to know when Intercourse was actually established: 1754, according to the sign that welcomes you as you enter the city limits. Of course that leaves
- [Tired of Fighting Sexual Temptation?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/tired-of-fighting-sexual-temptation/) - [updated: 8/5/20] Are you tired of fighting sexual temptation? Weary of wrestling with your relentless sex drive? This post is for you! Perhaps you're tired of trying to keep your dating life pure? Or, more to the point, tired of trying and then failing. And trying and failing. Again and again. Would you like to
- [Is Texting Going to Keep You Single?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/texting-keep-you-single/) - Perhaps one of the most perplexing issues of our "connected" world today is precisely how DISconnected we actually feel from each other. Many thought the smart phone could become the technological marvel which would bring us all together in peace and harmony. Instead, like the ancient Tower of Babel, so far it's largely succeeding in
- [Is a Pandemic Going to Keep You Single?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/pandemic-keep-you-single/) - Quarantining in your home and social distancing when you're out is doing nothing to help you meet great dating prospects right now, but is our current pandemic going to keep you single? I mean like, single forever? To be sure there are many forces in our culture today contributing to ceaseless singleness, but I don't
- [Is Hooking Up Going to Keep You Single?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/hooking-up-keep-you-single/) - Is hooking up going to keep you single? If you're asking that question, you are far more forward-thinking than the typical student or young adult, many of whom have settled for swiping, sexting, and striping for strangers, instead of pursuing friendship and dating with the intention of eventually settling down and getting married. Indeed, while
- [NFL Rebranding Halftime: Super Bowl Half-clothed Show](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/super-bowl-half-clothed-show/) - [WARNING: This is a satirical post from The Relational Reporter. If you do not get satire, don’t like satire, are offended by satire, or simply don’t know what satire is, please don’t read this post.] "After much deliberation, prayer, meditation, and market research, the NFL is ready to announce the rebranding of the Super Bowl
- [Should You Save Yourself for Marriage? Ask the Biebs!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/save-yourself-for-marriage/) - If Justin Bieber could pull a "back to the future" would he change anything about his past? What do you think he would answer? What would you answer if you were him? Something about just saying "no" to drugs? Or never drag racing while under the influence? Or not resisting arrest after said drag race?
- [Kiss the Friend Zone Goodbye](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/kiss-the-friend-zone/) - Want to kiss the friend zone goodbye? Then you need two develop two relational skills: Clear communication Healthy boundaries We talked about the role of clear communication last week, so this week we finish off our current Date Night Advice (DNA) series, The Friend Zone Files, by clarifying the importance of those incredibly handy things
- [How Rooting for the Titans Prepares You for Marriage](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-rooting-for-the-titans-prepares-you-for-marriage/) - How rooting for the Titans prepares you for marriage - think that's click-bait? Think again, sports fans! More than proving my postulation, this post will reveal what it takes to thrive in a life-giving, life-long marriage. Which, in my opinion, is better than a Superbowl win. (Even though I would have really liked that for
- [TOP10 Hottest Posts of 2016](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top10-hottest-posts-of-2016/) - WARNING: This article presents the first five of the TOP10 Hottest posts of 2016. Handle with care! OK. Seriously, there's nothing dangerous here, but it is our prayer that a careful reading of the following pieces will guide you in pursuing and growing in healthy, life-giving relationships with God, friends and family, and maybe even
- [The 1st Key to a Successful Dating Life](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/1st-key-successful-dating/) - So much dating advice is focused on finding "the one;" on who you should date. Or shouldn't. Indeed, the all-time most watched episode of our YouTube program, LoveEd with Julie & MJ, is Will God Tell You Who to Date? While making wise decisions in this regard is essential to relational success, believe it or
- [Sex is Worth Saving (TOP10 Benefits of Saving Sex Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-is-worth-saving/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: TOP10 Benefits of Saving Sex for Marriage Part 1 Waiting is no fun. Waiting is negative. Waiting is what you must do when outside forces stand in the way of your desired goal. And nowhere does the word "waiting" seem more cruel than when you hear that you should wait
- [SOS: Save Our Sex (TOP5 Benefits of Saving Sex for Marriage)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/save-our-sex/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: TOP10 Benefits of Saving Sex for Marriage Part 2 We're sending out an SOS to the world. It's too late for the Titanic.That ship has sailed. And sunk. But there's something else that's going down right now, and it's not too late to save it: our culture. Not sure what
- [Sex is Much More than a Teenage Dream](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-teenage-dream/) - [We’re wrapping up our online class for Relation^ology. If you want to start at the beginning, click here. Otherwise, read the posts linked below (if you like, invite a couple friends to do the same and discuss with them) and then share your thoughts and questions with us.] Sex is amazing. But you've probably heard
- [Date to Enjoy Verbal Intercourse (Dating 101)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-to-enjoy-verbal-intercourse/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: Dating 101 Part 9 If I could go back in time and change one thing about my engagement period, I would eliminate all of the make out sessions. Every. Single. One. Yes. My wife, Julie and I were virgins on our wedding night, but virginity does not equal sexual purity.
- [What if You Never Marry?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/what-if-you-never-marry/) - In response to a recent Date Night Advice (DNA) post, I received this thoughtful question in my email bag: "What if you are urging people to prepare for marriage whom God will call to remain single? Isn't reorienting their focus to coupledom - that oh so highly exalted status in our society and in the
- [Date and Change the World (Dating 101)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-and-change-the-world/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: Dating 101 Part 5 Hardly anyone out of high school dates anymore. And who can blame them? What's the point? A little fun, a little making out, a little hooking up. And a whole lot of broken heart. And for what? Even the ideal outcome of dating – a happy
- [Date to Serve (Dating 101)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-to-serve/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: Dating 101 Part 6 VISION. That's what this Dating 101 series is all about: casting a vision for dating that lifts us up above the small-minded, selfish, petty, fearful, and shameless aims that motivate so many to date. To that end, this week we'll talk about service, and more specifically
- [Date like You're Never Alone (Dating 101)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-like-youre-never-alone-dating-101/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: Dating 101 Part 7 One of the most powerful forces which drove me to date was this insatiable desire to belong to someone. I longed for (and continually fantasized about) the day when one of my pretty female friends would agree to promote me to the position of boyfriend. Then
- [Date with Your Brain (Dating 101)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-with-your-brain/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: Dating 101 Part 8 With a title like this one, I want to begin this post with an important clarification: I love romance! Yes. I am a man. A man who loves a great love story; one where the guy finds just the right girl; a girl who seems as
- [Dissecting a Date Invitation](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/no-more-love-autopsies-somebody-asked-me-part-3/) - [updated: 3/31/20] Want to ask someone out? Last week, I proffered a sample verbal invite and this week we’re going to dissect it. Of course, few folks like dissecting things. Many find it interesting to watch on TV when you don’t have to actually get your hands messy and can even look away when you
- ["You Got Fine Written All Over You!" Pt IV](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/you-got-fine-written-all-over-you-pt-iv/) - [updated: 9/10/18] This is our Last week to address this whopper of a one-liner: “Are you a parking ticket cuz you got fine written all over you!” (Check out the inspiration behind this discussion here.) Depending on how much you enjoy the movie Dumb and Dumber, you could even be flattered by such a silly
- [Is it True Love or just Gas?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/true-love-just-gas/) - [updated: 11/8/19] Are you in love or just infatuated? How do you tell whether your love is true? What does your heart tell you? How would you know what your heart was telling you? What if it's not your heart doing the talking? What if it's just gas? What if it feels like laughing gas
- [Great Questions for Great Dates: Interests and Identity](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/great-questions-for-great-dates-interests-and-identity/) - Many would say that one of the main reasons for dating is to get to know someone. And yet, more often than not, people learn very little about each other via the avenue of contemporary dating. Part of this is due to the fact that many playing the dating game are "under the influence." Yes,
- [Five Fun Facts for Successful Dating](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/five-fun-facts-successful-dating/) - Know what's funny? EVERYONE has their own dating advice, and loves to offer it freely. And most of it doesn't agree. Is ours any better? You'll have to be the judge of that, but what I can tell you, is the guidance offered here has worked for me and my wife, Julie, and we met
- [The Rules of Proximity](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/rules-proximity/) - The "INside track," the "INner circle," the "IN crowd." Who doesn't want to be IN?!? These exclusive relationships, whether it be inside a gang, a team, a club, a fraternity, a romance or even a pair of BFFs, can make you feel so accepted. That much is obvious. But these various "IN crowds," can also
- [TOP10 Things Sex has in Common with Christmas](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top10-things-that-sex-has-in-common-with-christmas/) - [Updated: 12/9/19] What could sex possibly have in common with Christmas? A ho ho whole lot of things, boys and girls! This is only the TOP10. So grab a cup of hot cocoa and get in the spirit! #10: Mistletoe Admittedly, I haven’t studied the history of how a tree parasite with white berries became
- [The Supermodel Marriage Myth](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/the-supermodel-marriage-myth/) - [updated: 7/20/19] BEWARE the Supermodel Marriage Myth! It's a compelling illusion believed by both beauties and beasts around the globe. And it's keeping millions from marriage. Millions waiting for "the one" who fits their job description of "hottest hottie that ever hotted." However... The research is in, and "hotness" simply never shows up as an
- [The Relational Reporter: Girl Catches Jesus Cheating!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/jesus-cheating/) - "I had hoped he was 'The One,'" confessed Faith Lisbride. "That is until I found out he was two-timing me. With my best friend of all people!" Believing she was in a dating relationship with Jesus Sonofgod, Lisbride had already officially gone on record the previous month, changing her relationship status on social media, but
- [Make America DATE Again with Donald Trump's Dating Don'ts](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/donald-trumps-dating-donts/) - [updated: 10/14/20] [WARNING: This post is satire. Please do not read this post if any of the following apply to you: You do not understand satire You don't like satire You are offended by satire You don't know what satire is The following is a guest post written by our current sitting president. The publishing
- [A Father's Blessing](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/fathers-blessing/) - [updated: 9/27/22] This week we bid a sorrowful, but joyful farewell to our youngest daughter, Bethany (who is also our Instagram manager), as she leaves our home to follow our God to South Africa. This departure has been a long. time. coming. And yet it hits me like a ton of bricks. Moving at the
- [The Problem with Submission](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/problem-with-submission/) - Now let’s focus on the other part of surrender: letting God have His way. This requires submission. Few words in the English language can elicit such rancor in our modern culture as the word “submission.” It brings to mind such contemptible practices as slavery, both physical and emotional abuse, and – worst of all –
- [Why Porn and I are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/porn-never-ever-ever-getting-back-together-2/) - [updated: 9/20/18] I was hooked back in grade school; from the moment I sat gawking at the weather-beaten magazine I found mysteriously hidden under a log in the woods. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was hooked. I never saw that magazine again, but I couldn’t forget the images. Perfect bodies, in
- [Date Smart! Don't...](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-smart-dont/) - [updated: 8/25/21] According to Selling the Invisible, the marketing book by Harry Beckwith... We human beings generally make decisions emotionally and then defend them rationally. In other words, we act with our heart and then try to explain what we did with our brain. It's like we're trying to convince ourselves our brain was really
- [The Relational Reporter: Purity Ring of Power Forged](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/ring-of-power/) - Gandalf the Grey made a startling declaration this week outside the headquarters of Hobbiton Jewelers. "At long last, sexual purity is no longer a prize you must fight for, but a prize you only need wear," and then raising his staff dramatically he cried out, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS SEXUAL BOUNDARIES!" The Grey Wizard was
- [Not Just Another Promise. Not Just Another Ring.](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/another-promise-another-ring/) - I gave my youngest daughter, Bethany, a promise ring for her 13th birthday, but it's probably not what you think. A promise ring is usually given to a child to remind them of their promise to remain sexually pure until marriage. This isn't a story about one of those rings. I have deep respect for
- [True Friend > Great Lover](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/true-friend-great-lover/) - Are you looking for a lover? You know: that person who will change the entire course of your earthly existence. Forever. Even if they wind up leaving you after 500 days of Summer. Or winter. Ice. Cold. Winter. If so, know this, great lovers don't stay together forever. True friends do. Even better, true friends
- [Trusting Your Feelings only Works in Star Wars (and even then, only half the time)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/trusting-feelings-works-star-wars/) - In love or infatuated? That is the question! And determining the difference is at once incredibly simple and insanely difficult. Simple when you finally let go of the cultural lie that you can just trust your feelings; that your heart will just "know." Difficult, because the passions of infatuation are so fun to play with.
- [The 2nd Key to a Successful Dating Life](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/2nd-key-successful-dating/) - Would you like a dating life high on fun and low on drama? If YES, then here's the tougher question: are you willing to do the hard work necessary to enjoy that kind of dating life? If YES again, then we're cooking with grease, because that's just what this little Date Night Advice (DNA) series
- [Why Sin is Fun](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/why-sin-is-fun/) - Some think being a Christian is all well and good, but you still have to live a little, right? What does this sentiment say about the perception of where life is found? The world says that life comes from sin. The partying lifestyle of binge drinking, uninhibited sexuality and recreational drugs – this is life.
- [Beauty Can't Save You](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/beauty-cant-save-you/) - Question: What do the following two stories have in common? Beauty and the Beast Fifty Shades of Grey Answer: The beauty saves the beast! Please understand me. I'm not trying to compare the fairly tale wonder of Beauty and the Beast to the deplorable immorality of Fifty Shades (of Gross). That would be ridiculous. However,
- [Keep Your Dating Life Out in the Open (Part 5)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/keep-things-out-in-the-open-part-v/) - I’ve been sharing how to whoops-proof your dating life by resolving to keep your dating life out in the open, refusing to date in isolated places where you expect to have privacy. More recently we’ve been addressing specific situations where that simply doesn’t seem practical and now we address this one final reason for feeling
- [Keep Your Dating Life Out in the Open (Part 4)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/out-in-the-open-iv/) - As I’ve done almost everything, but get on my knees and beg you to keep your dating life out in the open, have you been thinking: “MJ, You’re not getting this. No one else knows about this issue we’re struggling with! It’s too embarrassing to share.” If this is your situation, please stop a moment
- [Keep Your Dating Life Out in the Open (Part 3)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/keep-things-out-in-the-open-part-iii/) - In this week's Date Night Advice, we’re continuing to discuss how to keep your dating life out in the open, and effectively WHOOPS-proof your dating life. You know what I mean: WHOOPS! I went further than I meant to. WHOOPS! I did it again. WHOOPS! Now I’ve got a medical problem I didn’t before. WHOOPS!
- [Keep Your Dating Life Out in the Open (Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/keep-things-out-in-the-open-part-ii/) - OK, so last weekend I made the socially-awkward suggestion to keep your dating life out in the open. In other words, if you fear falling (or already have fallen) to sexual temptation, then don't date in isolation where where people can't see you. All the time. (If you haven’t read that previous edition of Date
- [Keep Your Dating Life Out in the Open](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/keep-things-out-in-the-open-part-i/) - [updated: 2/23/22] Dating or courtship should be a time of growing in intimacy – NOT sexual intimacy – relational/emotional intimacy. To clarify what I mean, here’s how Webster’s defines the word “intimate”: belonging to or characterizing one's deepest nature marked by very close association, contact, or familiarity marked by a warm friendship developing through long
- ["Do I Belong?" (Belonging Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/you-are-not-alone-belonging-part-2/) - [updated: 2/1/22] Last week, we introduced "belonging as #4 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date. Though the desire to belong is natural and necessary, I ended last week’s post with this statement: Belonging is something you only feel when you believe it. This week we dissect that. Logic would tell you that people who
- [She Loves Me. She Loves Me Not. (Belonging Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/belonging-part-1/) - [updated: 2/1/22] It’s time for #4 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date: Belonging Are you thinking, “Hmmmm… Belonging is actually a good thing – even an essential need! Does this idiot think I should go through my whole life without belonging – and like it?” No, I don’t. Belonging is one of the most
- [23 Reasons Why You Should Quit Porn](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/23-reasons-quit-porn/) - Here are 23 reasons why you should quit porn. Important note: they aren't reasons I came up with. They're reasons others posted anonymously online; others who have seen porn have a major impact on their lives. And not a good one. Each of the stories below were shared in response to a conversation prompt in
- [Are You Ready to Date?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/are-you-ready-to-date/) - We begin this week's Date Night Advice with the question we ended with last week. How do you know if you're ready to date? Does anyone ever think to ask that question? It doesn't seem that way. It seems like if two people fall in love THEN LET THE FUN BEGIN! And being in love
- [The James Bond Tragedy: Sexual Detachment](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/the-james-bond-tragedy/) - [updated: 9/30/21] So you want to be James Bond: irresistible to the ladies, but at the same time unaffected by their allure, impervious to their charm, aloof to their beauty? In a word: invincible. What if you got your wish? What would invincibility feel like? We're you thinking of words like these: Numb. Empty. Detached.
- [Get a Girlfriend (or Boyfriend) by Christmas](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/girlfriend-by-christmas/) - I'm going to tell you how to get a girlfriend (or boyfriend) by Christmas. Something I've never done before in blog form. I usually only deliver what I'm about to share in live speaking engagements where I'm being paid, because of course, information like this is highly sought-after. And priceless. It's timeless too! In other
- [Been waiting? Us too!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/been-waiting-us-too/) - Marriage Log: Day 5,125 (12/2/07) Waiting isn’t high on the list of my most favorite things. Probably not up there on yours either. How long have you been waiting for that right person to come along? Our Story Well, Julie and I got married, more or less, right after college graduation, but there was still
- [What Kavanaugh Can Teach Teens](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/kavanaugh-can-teach-teens/) - Is Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, guilty of the accusations of sexual assault leveled against him? I do not know. But this public spectacle has exposed 5 truths I think we all need to face. #1: The Choices You Make in High School Matter I have a friend who has confessed and repented of a
- [What do You Believe about Sex? (Sex Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/believe-sex-sexual-intercourse-part-2/) - [updated: 11/17/20] If you’re reading this and aren’t already convinced sexual intercourse is such a dumb reason to date, please start at the beginning of this discussion with the post Sex is Like Atomic Energy. The rest of this series is for you who are already convinced you want to keep your dating life from
- [Being Pressured to have Sex? Read this before it's too Late!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/pressured-sex/) - Dear Desired One, Desire. That's a powerful word, isn't it. Who doesn't want to be desired? Especially by someone for whom you share strong feelings as well? But though feelings are real, they're not always right. To illustrate this truth, allow me to change the subject entirely for a second. Imagine you go to the
- [The James Bond Myth: Sexual Invinciblity](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/the-james-bond-myth/) - [updated: 9/14/21] How can you hate a guy who can stare death in the face, offer a wry grin, and calmly order his martini just the way he likes it, "shaken, not stirred." I don't even drink, and yet I'm impressed. Every time. James Bond takes all of life just the way he likes it,
- [MEN: Be Ready to Meet Her!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/men-be-ready-to-meet-her/) - [updated: 8/19/21] Hey dude. I know you may not be into romantic comedies, but are you waiting for your movie scene moment? The one where that girl catches your eye from across the room. (Is she really even a girl or an angel? Or a goddess?) As you're lost in thought and time, you suddenly
- [Elope or Nope? (15 Questions)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/elope-or-nope/) - Just heard about a 15-year-old girl who's planning to elope with her 19-year-old boyfriend. In case, you're not familiar with the term, "elope," here's Merriam-Webster's definition: to run away secretly with the intention of getting married usually without parental consent. In a way it's sort of the opposite of cohabitation. Instead of going public with
- [The Trouble with Chick Flicks](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/chick-flicks-vs-real-life/) - [updated: 5/11/19] Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with him in glory. – Col 3:2-4 (NASV) I love that
- [All Loves are NOT Equal](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/loves-not-equal/) - [updated: 6/3/21] A good friend from my past posted a photo on Facebook, with this caption underneath: "People are complaining about this Fathers Day picture because they said 'it's gay.' What's your opinion?" The picture is of three men kissing one another. Must be gay. Right? Wait! They're kissing each other on the forehead. OK,
- [You are Far More than Sexual](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/do-you-think-those-guys-are-gay-part-4/) - [updated: 11/16/18] Last week I promised to address the question: So if we’re made in God’s image and His image isn’t sexual, what are we? For that answer we go right to the source. Jesus himself said (in John 4:24 ESV), “God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” So
- [Does Sexual Identity Really Matter?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/do-you-think-those-guys-are-gay-part-3/) - Who knew how much insight you could mine out of the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date? This weekend, we begin with the same questions which concluded last week’s Date Night Advice: Why does sexual identity matter so much in our modern culture? What does this preoccupation with our sexual identity say about
- [Who Cares if they're Gay?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/do-you-think-those-guys-are-gay-part-2/) - [updated: 9/12/18] We’re setting our sights on #6 of the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date: Your date keeps "whispering" inappropriate comments like “Do you think those guys are gay?” loud enough for the people at other tables to hear... including the gay guys in question. Last week we addressed the problem of
- [Infatuation vs. Intimacy (Romance Part 3)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/infatuation-vs-intimacy-romance-part-3/) - Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #3: Romance Why does romance interfere with your ability to experience intimacy? Here’s the deal in three points: What romance offers feels so much like intimacy What romance offers actually numbs your senses to your need for intimacy What romance offers is so much easier
- [TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with Graduation (TOP10 Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top5-things-sex-common-graduation-top10-part-2/) - This year's commencement address may drag on and on, but we wrap up the TOP10 Things Sex has in Common with Graduation this weekend with the TOP5. #5: The Kids Keep Getting Younger Our church just hosted a "graduation" brunch for children moving from kindergarten to 1st grade. Graduating before you ever enter grade school?
- [A Secret to Healing from Heartbreak](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/healing-from-heartbreak/) - I'm going to share a secret to healing from heartbreak, and to introduce that secret we'll start with a question posed in the song, Pompeii, by Bastille: "Oh, oh, where do we begin? The rubble or our sins?" In other words, when you're ready to deal with the heartbreak in your past, where do you
- [Are you Lonely? Read this before it’s too Late!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/lonely-read-late/) - [updated: 4/29/21] Dear Lonely Heart, I'm so sorry for your longing. Wish I could sweep it all away. But you know I can't. I wish I could say something about tomorrow being a brighter day, or love being right around the corner, or we'll look back on all this and laugh. But I don't even
- [The Importance of Spiritual Growth](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/spiritual-growth/) - As I’ve read more and more about the state of millenials, I’ve come across a phenomenon that strikes me as falling somewhere between incredibly naïve and considerably horrifying. It seems many young people are choosing not only to intentionally delay marriage; not only to intentionally delay adulthood, but to intentionally delay spiritual growth. The ill-conceived
- [Movies: Don't See Them - Talk About Them](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/movies-dont-see-them-talk-about-them/) - Everyone in our home enjoys a great movie, but I don't recommend watching them on dates. Why? Several reasons: Watching a movie together does very little to grow your knowledge of your date's character, beliefs and background. If dating is supposed to have a purpose beyond a good time, it should be to help you
- [FOR MEN ONLY: Is Marriage for You?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/marriage/) - [updated: 3/16/21] I wrote my first song when I was in third grade. It was a love song, of course, called My Darling's Moving from Missouri. You can probably tell from the title that it was a country song too. And yeah. It sounded as bad as the title would lead you to believe.* Not
- [Your Pre-Dating Checklist](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/your-pre-dating-checklist/) - You're not dating currently? Cool. Me either, because even though cultural mores have changed considerably since I married my precious wife, Julie, (almost 25 years ago) it's still generally frowned upon to date other people while you're married. However, I'm assuming you're not dating because you are not married. And still I say, "Awesome," because...
- [How to Enjoy Dating without Freaking Out](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/enjoy-dating/) - Your pulse is racing, palms sweaty and head spinning. And that's only after composing your first text: "Doing anything Sat nite?" Your thumb hovers over the SEND button. How in the world will you EVER make it through the first date? STOP! Before you press SEND, hit PAUSE and read this post! Check Your Motive
- [How Sex Became a Religion](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-sex-became-a-religion/) - It's official. The US Supreme Court has determined that sexual orientation and gender identity are as fundamental to who a person is as their race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. So fundamental to one's identity, that to discriminate against someone because of their sexual orientation or gender identity is now a federal crime. How
- [Don't Date Like a Dummy](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dont-date-like-dummy/) - [updated: 3/6/19] Found dating to be a tad daunting? Or is your dating life closer to a complete disaster? Or are you dreaming of just having a date? Regardless, I pose this question: Would you like to thrive throughout your dating experience? Truth is, I merely survived the dating process. I emerged with an amazing
- [What's Your Vision for Dating?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/vision-for-dating/) - Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is he who keeps the law. – Proverbs 29:18 (NASB) And in one sentence we discover where we went wrong with dating. No vision. No idea of what dating is supposed to accomplish. And everyone does what is right in their own eyes. Confused
- [doTERRA introduces mistleTOE](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/doterra-mistletoe/) - Read all about it in... In a surprise press conference the week of Thanksgiving, doTERRA announced the arrival of mistletoe to its line of essential oils. "What this means is that... "Love will literally be in the air this Christmas season!" – Haven Leehost, doTERRA spokesperson Within seconds of the announcement, orders began pouring in
- [Secret to finding "The One?" Donald Trump!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/donald-trump/) - [updated: 10/21/20] Since the turn of the century, eharmony has been matching couples online utilizing a top secret computer algorithm (nicknamed "The Borg") which takes into account 29 different dimensions of compatibility. But not anymore, because eharmony labs has reported the discovery of a 30th dimension. "It's a game-changer for the internet dating world," announced
- [Stop Looking for Your Perfect Match](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/perfect-match/) - How compatible do you need to be for a successful relationship? One popular dating website suggests there are 29 different dimensions of compatibility. Whoa! That's a lot of compatibility (or a lot of places where you could fail to be compatible). As I've stated in a past Date Night Advice (DNA) post, "I wish every
- [Beware the Intimacy Impostors](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/beware-intimacy-imposters/) - [updated: 9/7/20] More than success, excitement, or sex, our souls yearn for relational intimacy. That's the way our God set it up. That's why He woos us into relationship with Himself. It's also why He created marriage, family and the church. So that in intimate community with those who love us we might discover who
- [What Does the Porn Say?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/porn-say/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: The Porn Posts Post 1 They ask, "What does the fox say?" I answer, "Foxes don't talk, so they don't say anything. Except in the land of Narnia." But do you know what does talk, even when it doesn't make a sound? Porn. What does the porn say? I've spent
- [1 Thing I Wish I Knew at 18](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/1-thing-i-wish-i-knew-at-18/) - What is 1 thing I wish I knew at 18? A good family friend* is turning 18 soon and I was asked to share a word with him. But I figured why not share it with you too? And so in the same vein in which I shared What I wish I had Known when
- [What You Likely Share in Common with John Crist](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/what-you-likely-share-in-common-with-john-crist/) - Want to know what you likely share in common with John Crist? I mean, besides the obvious: The I-woke-up-like-this good looks ...and... The sharp-as-a-tack wit Well... it's something you might be less likely to brag about, but if it makes you feel any better, this commonality is something true of most people in our culture,
- [Intimacy is What Love is For](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/purpose-love/) - [updated: 2/20/20] They call it the "Intimates department." And that's curious, because the only thing you'll find there is women's underwear. I say that's curious because here's Merriam Webster's definition for the word intimate: Belonging to or characterizing one's deepest nature Marked by very close association, contact, or familiarity Marked by a warm friendship developing
- [One Reason You're Still Single](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/youre-still-single/) - My heart goes out to those who remain single far beyond the time when they hoped they would be married. That's because I long to inspire and lead others in preparing for and pursuing a life-giving, life-long marriage, as early as the teen years and before they ever begin dating. Indeed, it's more than just
- [Is Disney Going to Keep You Single?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/disney-keep-you-single/) - Is Disney going to keep you single? That isn't some Mickey Mouse click-bait question. It's quite serious. It's serious because almost three fourths of adults age 25-34 are single today. "Relax," you could say! "Disney doesn't have a bippity boppity to do with that! Most Disney movies are merely out to encourage children to dream,
- [TOP10 Hottest Posts of 2017](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top10-2017/) - What do the following have in common: Awkward questions singles get asked by married people Lies porn tells us and what we should tell porn in return Walt Disney's chances of being the Antichrist What Farmers know about Fornication Find out in this year's TOP10 most read posts from our Date Night Advice (DNA) blog.
- [I could have been Derek Chauvin](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/derek-chauvin/) - [Note: in the wake of the death of George Floyd, I felt led to make a significant departure from my usual topics] For 12 years my family not only attended, but invested our lives in a multi-racial church where I had my mind blown wide open to the prevalence of social injustice toward minorities in
- [An Interview about Freedom from Porn](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/freedom-from-porn/) - Last month I had the privilege of conducting a workshop at the NARME 19 Summit (National Association of Relationship and Marriage Education) entitled How Porn is Keeping Men from Marriage. One of the attendees followed up with a few questions via text and I thought you might appreciate hearing our interchange edited into the form
- [Porn is like a Virus](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/porn-is-like-a-virus/) - [updated: 3/12/20] Porn is like a virus. That might explain why I was asked to speak on the topic of porn at the NARME 19 Summit (NARME stands for the National Association of Relationship and Marriage Education). Indeed, of all the workshops I proposed for this conference, only the one on porn, How Porn is
- [End Your Search for "THE ONE"](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/end-search-one/) - [updated: 3/10/20] Would you like to end your search for "The One?" There are those who believe God has told them who they will marry. And some of them wind up doing just that. Others can't seem to convince the other person of God's will revealed so clearly to them. Then there are those who
- [Imperative Questions Only Intimacy can Answer](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/imperative-questions-intimacy-can-answer/) - [updated: 2/26/20] If you want to live the life you were meant to live, there are two questions you must answer. Let me be more precise. To live the life you were meant to live, there are two questions you must answer CORRECTLY. They're big questions – HUGE QUESTIONS – and we're driven to discover
- [Do You Long to Join the IN Crowd?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/long-join-crowd/) - What is it about wanting a boyfriend or girlfriend before you're old enough to drive, or even mature enough to carry on an intelligent conversation with your "bae?" Why does joining the "IN crowd" of your friendly neighborhood high school feel so INcredible? And how does walking around a college campus with the letters of
- [Going Down in the Flames of Fame](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/gonna-go-flames/) - They say, "It's lonely at the top." This post will explain why that is so. I first started sharing the insight below in front of college audiences years ago. And when I did, I would cite a few examples of young famous people gone "freak show." Then I would express my concern that Justin Bieber
- [Are You Waiting on God? (Or is He Waiting on You?)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/are-you-waiting-on-god/) - Today, one in four teens expect to be famous or well-known by age 25. Back in the 1900s when I was a kid, not everyone held such grandiose aspirations. I guess that means I was ahead of my time. For when I was barely in elementary school, I informed my parents that I would be
- [Now Watch Me!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/nobody-just-wants-attention/) - Welcome to our online class for Relation^ology. (It begins with this post.) This post is for all those crazy kids out there singing, "Watch me whip and nae nae and superman" as well as everyone that just plain ole wants people watching them. And then for those who discover they want more than just attention.
- [Be like the Cool Kids](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/cool-kids/) - [We're in the middle of our online class for Relation^ology. If you want to start at the beginning, click here. Otherwise, read the six posts linked below (if you like, invite a couple friends to do the same and discuss with them) and then share your thoughts and questions with us.] Whether you've wished you
- [The Danger of Fame](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/careful-what-you-wish-for/) - [We’re in the middle of our online class for Relation^ology. If you want to start at the beginning, click here. Otherwise, read the three posts linked below (if you like, invite a couple friends to do the same and discuss with them) and then share your thoughts and questions with us.] Some of us have
- [Can't Feel my Brain](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/cant-feel-my-brain/) - [We’re in the middle of our online class for Relation^ology. If you want to start at the beginning, click here. Otherwise, read the posts linked below (if you like, invite a couple friends to do the same and discuss with them) and then share your thoughts and questions with us.] Abel Tesfaye (AKA The Weeknd)
- [Preventing First Date FAILS (Part Juan)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/preventing-first-date-fails-part-juan/) - [Updated: 9/11/18] This weekend, it’s a DNA twofer where we tackle both #7 and #2 of TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date. Why tackle two at once? Well, because. Ah. (Surprise plot twist coming.) #7 and #2 are actually two parts of the same first date horror story! (Remember this TOP10 was derived
- [Is Your Dad Going to Keep You Single?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dad-keep-you-single/) - Is your dad going to keep you single? According to Gallup, 86% of never-married Americans aged 18 to 34 want to get married someday and yet 73% of 25-34 year-olds are still single. That's a lot of unmarried folks who want marriage. So even if you're not one of them, it's certain you know one.
- [The Greatest Benefit of Saving Sex](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/greatest-benefit-saving-sex/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: TOP10 Benefits of Saving Sex for Marriage Part 3 I've read quite a few bitter stories from former "good little Christians" who waited until marriage to have sex (sort of), only to be disappointed – no, that’s not strong enough – only to be FURIOUS with their sex life after
- [There's More to Life than Sex (TOP5 NON-SEXUAL posts of 2013)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/theres-life-sex-top5-non-sexual-posts-2013/) - Last week I presented 2013's TOP5 most read posts from our beloved Date Night Advice. But, alas, all five were about sex. In the interest of pretending there's more to life than sex, this week I present the TOP5 NON-SEXUAL posts from 2013. Why? Because no sexual purity plan is worse than this one: Don't
- [Sex and Taxes](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-and-taxes/) - Did you ever notice the letters that spell the word "sex" are in the word "taxes?" Indeed, the word "sex" appears backwards! Forwards: TAXES Backwards: SEXAT There it is! "Taxes" spelled backwards reads "sex at." Which begs the question: sex at where? What does it all mean? We have a crack team of highly-trained former
- [LOVE is NOT Something You Earn (Love Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/love-something-earn-love-part-2/) - [updated: 10/23/18] Love is not something you find. It's something you share. But what if you don't have any love to share? What if your need for love is the very force that's driving your desire to date? Then you need to go to the source of love. Which isn't an internet dating site, or
- [You Like to Read about Sex (TOP5 of 2013)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/like-read-sex-top5-2013/) - Here's last year's TOP5 most read posts! And can you believe it? They're all about sex! Shocker. I guess you like to read about sex. #5: Sex is a Conversation (Sex Part 3) In this post I'm uncovering the key reality that sexual intercourse is precisely that, a dialogue or conversation. It's not some specific
- [TOP5 HOTTEST Posts of 2014](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top5-hottest-posts-2014/) - We're on the homestretch of last week's TOP10 hottest posts of 2014. Here's five down to one. In the previous year (2013) every single post in the TOP5 addressed the same topic. What was it? I'll give you a hint: It starts with an "S" and rhymes with pecs. However, in this past year, only
- [TOP10 HOTTEST posts of 2014 (Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top10-hottest-posts-2014-part-1/) - Happy New Year! Hope it's one of true breakthrough for you! Of course, there's nothing magical about the turning of the calendar, just like there's nothing magical about the changing of your relationship status. Whether we're different after either event depends largely on our commitment to personal change and growth. To that end, it is
- [TOP10 HOTTEST posts of 2015 (Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top10-2015/) - Hope this new year is already off to a great start! We want nothing more than for you to rock your dating life in 2016 (or whenever it's time for your dating season to begin). No better way to kick things off than making sure you don't miss last year's MOST READ posts. #10: Great
- [TOP5 HOTTEST posts of 2015](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top5-2015/) - Can you believe it? The first half of the first month of 2016 is already past! So let's finish our TOP10 countdown with the final five most read Date Night Advice (DNA) posts of 2015 before we have to put the Christmas decorations back up! #5: What You Don’t Know about Romance CAN Hurt You
- [TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with Easter](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top5-things-sex-common-easter/) - Back by popular demand, Future Marriage University (FMU) proudly (re)presents the TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with Easter. I know – it sounds just as sacrilegious as it did when I first published this post, but if you read it you will see it is not. #5: Love Jesus said, (in John 15:13 ESV)
- [Is Your Mom Going to Keep You Single?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/mom-keep-you-single/) - Is your mom going to keep you single? In a world where we generally blame our parents for everything, it's a worthy consideration. After all, only 27% of 25-34 year-olds are married today. Maybe mothers across America are behind this. Or maybe it's not a national conspiracy, but merely a personal vendetta of your mom.
- [TOP5 Hottest Posts of 2019](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top5-hottest-posts-of-2019/) - Sitting down to put this Date Night Advice (DNA) post together in the afterglow of another blessed Christmas. Not perfect, mind you. For instance, I missed watching the new Star Wars movie this morning with the rest of my family, because one of my five kiddos came down with a fever last night. Speaking of
- [Welcome to Purpose-Driven Dating](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/welcome-to-purpose-driven-dating/) - I want to start off this week's Date Night Advice (DNA) with the vision cast in last week's post. If the following paragraph inspires you, you won't want to miss any part of this series: "What if your dating life could reflect the reality that you were born to make friends more than to make
- [Still Single? Here's Hope!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/still-single-heres-hope/) - [updated: 11/7/19] I wrote this post on Thanksgiving Eve Day for all those still single and looking for a little hope. They say the holidays can be especially lonely when you're single. I can certainly see how that would be, and yet ironically being single has never been so popular! In fact, in America today,
- [We All have Same-Sex Needs](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/we-all-have-same-sex-needs/) - "We all have same-sex needs..." he began. And though he didn't pause before what he said next, for me it felt like one of those movie moments where time somehow slowed down. Maybe that's a little dramatic, but needless to say he had my attention. You know those times when someone says something that hits
- [You Cannot Disappoint God](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/cannot-disappoint-god/) - It’s one of the most unbelievable truths. If you’re still holding onto your own poor choices, God stands ready to forgive and restore you the instant you’re ready. How can that be? For starters, our God is something Poseidon or Hades was not. The gods of Greek mythology were, at their very root, selfish; causing
- [Lies I Believed when I was 13](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/when-i-was-13/) - For those who missed the privilege of living through the 80s (or who spent the entire decade huddled in the fetal position under their desk in a nuclear bomb shelter) Knight Rider, featuring Michael Knight and his tricked-out Trans Am, was the family television drama to watch. At least it was for me when I
- [What does God want for You?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/what-does-god-want/) - And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:28 (NASB) How could you not appreciate the encouragement emanating from that little gem, eh? God causes some things to work together for good? No! How
- ["My Ex Did it First" (Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/my-ex-did-it-first-part-2/) - What makes us say ridiculous things in defense of what we know we did wrong? Things like, “I cheated on my ex multiple times... but only because my ex did it first!” Or worse, “It was the woman that YOU [God] gave me. She gave me the fruit and I ate.”? Why can’t we just
- [The Relational Reporter: Marriage to End Man's Life-long Struggle with Lust](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/better-marry-than-burn/) - [updated: 8/19/19] Barry Naive can hardly believe his wedding day is almost here, but it's more than the fact that he'll be marrying "the hottest girl he, like, ever dated ever." What truly excites him is the end of his life-long struggle with lust. "It began when I was nine," related Naive. "That's when I
- [College Bound? Don't Leave Home without Reading This!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/college-bound/) - [updated: 8/9/19] Dear College Bound, I LOVED my college experience! Especially dating. Usually. Except for when my heart was getting broken into a billion pieces by some angelic-looking creature who did not return my awe and affection. But what if I could help you enjoy college just as much as I did, minus a lot
- [Can't Blame Your Ex for Everything](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/my-ex-did-it-first-part-1/) - Cold hard truth: you can't blame your ex for everything. That's what we're going to discover this week as we continue analyzing the TOP10 Signs you're on a Bad First Date. These true-life experiences weren’t very fun at the time, but we’re having fun learning what we can from the pain, making the metaphorical lemonade
- [How to Deal with Rejection](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/after-theyre-done-with-you-part-3/) - [updated: 6/8/19] It’s your first date with this person, so naturally you're nervous. And the fact that they can’t seem to stop texting throughout the evening doesn’t help put you at ease. In fact, it’s downright irritating. And so you finally get up the courage to say something about it. But instead of apologizing or
- [Your Body is a MASTERPIECE](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/your-body-is-a-masterpiece/) - What makes a painting valuable? The surface on which the paint is applied? Well, for a painting to last, the surface must be of some quality, but with a masterpiece, like the Mona Lisa, the value of the surface itself is completely inconsequential. But note these two realities regarding the relationship between the surface and
- [Your Body is HOLY](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/your-body-is-holy/) - Mention the topic of purity or modesty and, at best, there seems to be a lot of confusion. At worst, the reactions can include offense or resentment. But, as we established last week, "we cover our bodies not because they are so shameful, but because they are so wonderful; far too wonderful to put on
- [Your Body was BOUGHT with a Price](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/your-body-was-bought/) - The truth? Our bodies were made to be something far more glorious than sexy, hot or gorgeous. Our bodies were made to be holy! But maybe you read that and think, "Meh. I'd rather be sexy." I get it. That's because there's a critical change in perspective necessary before we can view holiness as superior
- [Make Peace, Not Love](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/make-peace-not-love/) - Of course, the familiar refrain from the ‘60s was “Make love, not war.” (Those Flower Children were really creative with the old double-entendres.) If only we could end all wars by making love. What a wonderful world – one without wars, atomic bombs or nuclear subs. The Twin Towers would still be standing. You wouldn’t
- [Don't Tolerate. Love!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dont-tolerate-love/) - Having brought up the world’s definition of diversity, I feel I also need to address our culture's obsession with tolerance. In today’s world, tolerance is held up as the ultimate virtue. However, in the words of Inigo Montoya, the Spaniard from "The Princess Bride," “You keep using that word. I’m not sure it means what
- [How to Make Peace with Your Past](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/peace-with-your-past/) - It’s another one of those “sayings:” “People only change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” That’s a pretty fatalistic outlook, but more often than not, it’s reality. Sadly, most will wait until they’re stuck in a dead (or at least severely disappointing) marriage where they’re contemplating counseling,
- [Love is Being Willing to Say, "I'm Sorry."](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/say-im-sorry/) - I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. (Selah) – Psalm 32:3-5 (ESV) As David already demonstrated, making peace with our past painful choices starts with confession, but confession isn’t enough. NO,
- [A Dirt-Free Little Secret about Sex](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/a-dirt-free-little-secret/) - Believe it or not, Christ-likeness, maturity, patience, holiness, discipline and faith are just the sort of gifts God had in mind for marriage to give us. If you’re pretty certain you’re not interested in such things, do yourself a favor and scratch marriage off your list of things to do. You may believe you still
- [Looking for a Sign?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/looking-for-a-sign/) - Do you believe God rewards those who seek Him? Really? Then do you seek Him? Not His will. Not His hand in your circumstances. Not signs. Do you seek Him? Just Him. If you would draw near to God, you must seek Him. And more often than not, looking at our circumstances distracts us from
- [The Relational Reporter: Middle School Couple Sets Wedding Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/relational-reporter-middle-school-couple-sets-wedding-date/) - Avery Rash informed her Mother yesterday it was "official." After 29 days of "seeing each other," she and her new boyfriend, Blake Tewyoung, have set a wedding date. Mother, Meghan Rash, who had just dropped off Tewyoung following her daughter's first official date with him at Sonic, contacted The Relational Reporter with the glad tidings.
- [Surviving 16 Successfully](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/surviving-16-successfully/) - Dear 16-year-old self, It's me again, here to finish up the last half of the 16 words of wisdom I wish I/you would have known when I was your age. Bottom line, I want you to be encouraged! You can survive 16 successfully. And you will. I'm living testament to that. Literally. You act on
- [What You should Know by 16](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/know-by-16/) - Dear 16-year-old self, Big milestone birthday! You've come a long way, but you still have your whole life ahead of you! In fact, I've lived three of your lives so far. (In other words, I'm 48 now. As in 16 x 3 = 48.) But here's what I wish I could teach you, while you're
- [Your Body is NOTHING to be Ashamed Of](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/your-body-is-nothing-to-be-ashamed-of/) - And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Gen 2:25 Julie and I discretely referenced that verse in our wedding bulletin. On the back where we listed the address of our new home, we added, "Where Gen 2:25 will apply." Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. We thought ourselves so clever.
- [Your Body is VERY GOOD](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/your-body-is-very-good/) - To understand the times, I wind up reading a lot of articles that fall in the "purity culture ruined my life" category. When it comes to the human body, here are some of the complaints: The church taught me... To be ashamed of my body To hide my body My body is an object of lust
- [The Naked Truth about Your Body](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/naked-truth-about-your-body/) - There was a time when I was quite the cutie pie. Or course, this was back when I was in elementary school. But that's only half the story. It was better than just having good looks. I actually looked a lot like the hottest young television actor of the day: Ricky Schroder. You likely don't
- [Did God Cause Your Pain?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/did-god-cause-your-pain/) - [The following is an excerpt from a FREE PDF book on forgiveness that’s yours just for the asking!] Am I saying that God caused your pain? No. Struggle and suffering and death are all the result of sin, and God cannot sin. He can’t even be tempted to sin. “Let no one say when he
- [Is Bitterness Your Right? Or Wrong?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/are-you-lying-to-yourself/) - [The following is an excerpt from a FREE PDF book on forgiveness that’s yours just for the asking!] Ultimately when God is talking about forgiveness of sin, He’s not talking about the quantity or impact of those sins. That’s how we think of things, but with God the individual sins you commit are not the
- [Do You have to Forgive? Or Repent?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/forgive-or-repent/) - [The following is an excerpt from a FREE PDF book on forgiveness that’s yours just for the asking!] I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers? To
- [The Single Most Important Relational Skill](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/single-important-relational-skill-forgiveness-101-part-4/) - [The following is an excerpt from a FREE PDF book on forgiveness that’s yours just for the asking!] I believe forgiveness is the single most important relational skill you could ever hope to master. If you thought communication was the single most important relational skill, you were close. After all, clearly transmitting and receiving information,
- [Forgiveness 101](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/forgiveness-101/) - I'd like to share two letters from the same young woman. First, the one she sent back in Feb of 2010: "I [recently] realized that I struggle with anger and bitterness. Not just from [a recent relationship failure], but also because of the rape that I went through 2 years ago. I still have not
- [2 Reasons You Need to Forgive](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/two-reasons-need-forgive/) - [The following is an excerpt from a FREE PDF book on forgiveness that’s yours just for the asking!] Is there a particular person with whom you simply don’t interact, someone you can’t stand, someone for whom the mere mention of their name stands the hair up on the back of your neck? Did they hurt
- [Where was God When…?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/where-was-god/) - [The following is an excerpt from a FREE PDF book on forgiveness that’s yours just for the asking!] Where was God on September 11th, or throughout the holocaust, or during any act of terror or genocide that has been perpetrated on the innocent? Where was God in the midst of all that suffering? The same
- [The Prerequisites for Romance 101](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/the-prerequisites-for-romance-101/) - When it comes to relationships, our culture encourages young people to try their hand (or more accurately, try their heart) at romance as early as middle school. Maybe that worked for you. Congratulations! Yours is a life truly blessed! As for me, when I was in middle school, I hardly knew the first thing about
- [Deconstructing the Chick Flick Formula](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/counseling-and-dating-dont-mix-part-too/) - Of the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date #5 is this: Your date spends the evening seeking your counsel on how to get over their ex. The sad reality is this: there most assuredly is someone out there who would love to help you get over your ex on your very first date
- [Been Rejected? Been There & Back Again!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/after-theyre-done-with-you-part-1/) - It’s time to read #4 of the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date: Your date keeps texting friends about plans for later that night after they’re done with you. “After they’re done with you.” Oh that’s classy. And it’s a quote too, by the way. (Remember the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad
- [Puberty does not Equal Maturity](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/puberty-does-not-equal-maturity/) - Ahhhh... I remember it like it was yesterday. Before iPods, before DVD players, yea verily, even before VCRs, back when everything was in black and white. (OK, I'm kidding about that last part.) (It was Technicolor.) Back then, the best thing that could happen at school was to walk into the classroom and see a
- [How to Submit Your Sex to the Spirit](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/do-you-think-those-guys-are-gay-part-5/) - Is walking by the Spirit anything like walking like an Egyptian? What in the world would that look like? Of course we understand that the outcome of walking by the Spirit is good. Not only will we not gratify the desires of the flesh (Gal 5:16); we’ll be led into all truth (John 16:13); exhibit
- [Dating shouldn't be about the Experience (Just For Fun Part 3)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/a-moonlit-picnic-on-the-50-yard-line-just-for-fun-part-3/) - We continue with our discussion of #8 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date: Just for fun. We’ve already made the obvious admission that there’s nothing wrong with having fun dating. I had a blast dating. But we also established last week that if fun is all you’re looking for, there are other entertainment options that
- [TOP5 Hottest Posts of 2018](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/2018top5/) - What are you hoping for in 2019? To get married? Perhaps get a girlfriend or boyfriend first? Maybe starting out with getting a first date first? What about finally breaking a bad habit, like porn? How about learning to control your sex drive altogether? Hopefully preparing yourself to be "the one" before you find "the
- [TOP10 Hottest Posts of 2018](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/2018top10/) - Want practical, Christian advice on the topics of sex, dating, and relationships? We've got a blog for that. And you found it! This is our Date Night Advice (DNA) blog where we've been applying Biblical truth to said topics above in weekly posts for over seven years, and the piece you're reading right now features
- [The Relational Reporter: Playboy Hefner Held the Constitution Dear](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/hefner-and-the-constitution/) - "The intention of the First Amendment was to defend the right of every American to speak his mind. Not to look at pictures of naked women." So wrote one of the respondents to a survey gauging public perception of Playboy publisher, Hugh Hefner, conducted by the Northern Department of Understanding Humanity (NODUH). The conclusion of
- [The Relational Reporter: Guy Asks Out EVERY Girl in Church LITERALLY](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/every-girl/) - After last Saturday's student worship event, sources at Grace Bible Fellowship Chapel (GBFC) confirmed that Desmond "Dez" Parrot had officially asked out every girl in their student ministry "literally!" According to church attendance records and surveillance camera footage, a total of 68 girls attend GBFC Student Ministry events in a given month, so trying to
- [The Lost Art of Dating](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/lost-art-dating/) - I've got good news and bad news about dating. First the bad news: dating isn't working (if it's still happening at all). I know. Not much of a newsflash, but what I hope you will find insightful is why. There was a time when dating had a purpose. In general, dating represented an intentional step
- [What about Practice Dating?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/practice-dating/) - OK, so apparently there's this thing called "practice dating." Have you heard of it? Maybe you or someone you know has said something like... "I always feel so awkward around people I like, so I'm thinking about practice dating people I'm not really into." Or... "They're not really my type, but they're kind of cute,
- [LOVE is NOT Something You Find (Love Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/love-something-find-love-part-1/) - [updated: 10/17/18] Are you out there dating, looking for love? What if you'll never find it until you grasp the truth that love is not something you find in the first place? That's why the award for the #1 dumbest reason to date goes to... To find love. Perhaps you're thinking... "How could love be
- [LOVE is NOT Something You Lose (Love Part 3)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/love-something-lose/) - [updated: 11/6/18] In an internet survey conducted a few years back, we asked people to share their fears in regards to marriage. Can you identify with any of these thoughts? "That I will become like my mother and father; a lifeless marriage, only going through the motions." "That he will not be as committed.” "I
- [Darker than the Demogorgon](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexualthings-09/) - Stranger Things, like any good science fiction story, first hints, and then slowly reveals there is far more going on than meets the eye in the natural realm. I love that plot device. I love the mystery and the process of discovering what's really happening behind the scenes. But within the first moments of episode
- [The Source of Sexual Discontent](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexualthings-08/) - What if you stand for sexual purity throughout your entire single existence only to wind up in a sexually unsatisfying marriage – or worse – never married? Sadly, you wouldn't be alone, but this doesn't have to be your story. It is the story of many. Indeed, my heart is burdened for the billions of
- [Why Good Girls like Bad Boys](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexualthings-06/) - Though the sexual predatory behavior exhibited by Steve Harrington isn't appropriate behavior for a gentleman, much less a follower of Christ, at least it makes sense. What guy can't identify with wanting to go after what he wants? However, what has puzzled me in the past, is why girls put up with it. Why do
- [Consent, Sex & Regret](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexualthings-05/) - You once had to put a ring on it, before you got the benefit of "hooking up." Now all you need is consent. And it's even easier than it sounds, because consensual hooking up doesn't require a note from your doctor or a consent form filled out by a parental unit. No affidavits or notary
- [What Hooking Up Does To Your Future Marriage](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexual-things-04/) - Boy meets girl. Boy hooks up with girl. The above scenario is so normal these days as to inspire yawns, but apparently it's not all that boring to watch. Because even in a "family friendly" show like Stranger Things we get to see Steve Harrington and Nancy Wheeler hook up not once, but twice in
- [Sexual Things (Episode 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/stranger-things-01/) - It was the first episode of the show everyone has been talking about. Like everyone: from adults my age (I'm old enough to have a 21-year-old son) down to preteens in our Christian home school co-op. Every. One. Overall I thoroughly enjoyed it, though I was frustrated the powers-that-be felt it necessary to include a
- [Sex is a Conversation (Sex Part 3)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex_is_conversation/) - Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #2: Sexual Intercourse Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:31-32 (ESV) Everyone likes the idea of
- [Will the Right Person Complete You?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/complete-you/) - It's a cute little saying. "Oh let me introduce you to my 'better half.'" Actually, it's become so commonplace, some don't even say it to be cute. It's said almost without thinking. As a mater of fact. And I understand what people mean by it. But I still hate it. I don't want to be
- [TOP10 Signs You're on a Bad First Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top10-signs-youre-on-a-bad-first-date/) - [updated: 9/12/18] Confession time: I originally attempted to invent the TOP10 signs you're on a bad first date out of my own imagination, but after some amount of time trying to conger up funny content that wasn't all that funny I decided to turn the pen over to you. And you did not disappoint. Well
- [When your Date doesn't know how to Whisper](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/do-you-think-those-guys-are-gay-part-1/) - [updated: 9/12/18] What can you learn from the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date? As legend would have it, an awful lot. This week we look at #6 - Your date keeps "whispering" inappropriate comments like “Do you think those guys are gay?” loud enough for the people at other tables to hear...
- [Preventing First Date FAILS (Part Trey)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/preventing-first-date-fails-part-trey/) - [Updated: 9/11/18] Last week I shared the simple secret to ending almost all future First Date FAILS: Stop Dating Strangers. How? Instead of getting to know people for the first time on first dates, get to know potential dating partners in group settings – in community – ideally in a healthy Christian community. If you
- [Preventing First Date FAILS (Part Deu)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/preventing-first-date-fails-part-deu/) - [Updated: 9/11/18] In my last post, I said I’d share a simple secret this week that will just about guarantee no more first date horror stories in your future, but I also warned that following my proposal might call for a considerable change in your dating habits. So know ahead of time that what I’m
- [@#^%$! I'm Sorry, Where Were We?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/im-sorry-where-were-we/) - This week we learn from #8 of the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date: Your date takes a call from their ex, and after cussing them out right in front of you, hangs up and says sweetly, "I'm sorry, where were we?" OK. So this guy has a temper. And to be perfectly
- [Get a Job before You get a Date (Pt 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/mothers-and-money-pt-1/) - [updated: 9/11/18] Just in time for the coming weekend, we address #9 of the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date: After picking you up, your date stops by their mom’s place for cash to pay for dinner. My quick response – three little words: Get a job! Seriously though, this First Date Fail
- [Get a Job before You get a Date (Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/mothers-money-part-2/) - [updated: 9/11/18] This week I share some afterthoughts to my comments last week on #9 of the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date: After picking you up, your date stops by their mom’s place for cash to pay for dinner. Bottom line, you absolutely positively do not want to entertain a serious relationship
- ["You Got Fine Written All Over You!" (Pt II)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/you-got-fine-written-all-over-you-pt-ii/) - [updated: 9/10/18 One of the barbaric characteristics of our “civilized” culture, is that we’re conditioned to desire the admiration of our physical/sensual attributes over the appreciation of our unique spirit. We long for the approval of what we look like (you’re so hot) over who we are (you’re so gracious). This cultural partiality is so
- ["OK, let's get this over with."](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/ok-lets-get-this-over-with/) - [updated 9/10/18] I asked wise individuals like you to share with me their worst first date FAILS! And they did share. Oh did they share! Then for last week's Date Night Advice, I took those stories and concocted the TOP10 Signs You’re On a Bad First Date. Now that we’ve all had a good laugh
- [Does God Want You to be Happy?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/want-you-to-be-happy/) - It's the most loving declaration made in any tale of modern love. It could be said by a mother to her son. A son to his father. A father to his daughter. A daughter to her mother. Or, of course, everyone's favorite: a lover to their lover. As the music swells with strings that resonate
- [The 3rd Key to a Successful Dating Life](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/3rd-key-successful-dating/) - It's finally here: the third of three keys to a successful dating life. In a way, it's the most important key, but if you want a dating life that eventually leads to a life-giving, life-long marriage, you're going to need all three to win. Preferably before you ever start dating. The first key is simply discovering
- [3 Keys to a Successful Dating Life](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/3-keys-successful-dating/) - Plot spoiler: an adventure as daunting as dating requires far more than three keys for success. That might be a disappointment to you, but trust me: embracing this reality now beats the disillusionment awaiting those who choose to waltz willy-nilly into the wild wilderness of dating without knowing and possessing at least these three keys.
- [Young, Single & Career-Focused? Read this before it's too Late!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/young-single-career/) - [updated: 6/3/18] Dear Young, Single & Career-Focused, It's a mark of maturity when someone realizes they need to take charge of their life and figure out how to pay all of their own bills, so way to go! More than that, it's even more important to discover God's calling in the realm of career; to
- [Dating and Dark Chocolate (Romance Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dating-and-dark-chocolate/) - Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #3: Romance Last week I let the metaphorical cat out of the proverbial bag, that #3 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date is romance. I make this unpopular claim not because I think romance is a bad thing, but because it’s not the real
- [What You Don’t Know about Romance CAN Hurt You (Romance Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/what-you-dont-know-about-romance-can-hurt-you-romance-part-1/) - Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #3: Romance It’s time for #3 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date, but you’re probably not going to like it. In fact, if you identify with the fairer sex you’re probably going to hate it. This might be the last Date Night Advice you
- [Got Dumped? Read this before it's too Late!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/got-dumped-read-late/) - Dear Dumpee, I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. I wish that hadn't happened. Of course, I'm sure it's all for the best blah blah blah, but to quote the King James, "It sucketh!" There it is. I said it. In Authorized King James English. But more than sympathy, I want to empower you to walk through
- [Want Sex? Read this before it's too Late!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/want-sex/) - Dear Panting Friend, I get it. I can remember my years of longing for sexual fulfillment. But I also have the perspective of being almost 25 years past my honeymoon night. However, I'd like to direct your attention to the perspective of someone who lived his entire life without "sexual fulfillment." That might be the
- [Happy Single? Read this before it's too Late!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/happy-single-read-this/) - Dear Free Agent, One of your friends told me about you. They said you wouldn't want to hear anything I had to share, because you aren't interested in a serious relationship right now. And that crushed me. Don't misunderstand. I'm not disappointed that you're not crushing on anyone. To the contrary, good for you! It's
- [Saying "No" to Porn](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/saying-porn-2/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: The Porn Posts Post 6 We started off The Porn Posts, asking, "What does the porn say? " We wrap up this series with what we need to say to porn. It's real simple. In fact it's just one word: "No." Are you ready to say, "No," to porn? Last
- [The Power to Face Your Porn Problem](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/power-face-porn-problem/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: The Porn Posts Post 5 No doubt about it, porn is a serious problem. It tells us captivating lies, but, in truth, it's a sin that leads to death. However, if you've confessed your porn problem before God and to one or more close friends, freedom is within your grasp.
- [Date in the Delight of Your First Love (Dating 101)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-delight-first-love/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: Dating 101 Part 10 Would you like a dating life defined by calm instead of confusion, peace instead of apprehension, and redemption instead of regret? How about one that is deeply meaningful, but also a ton of fun; guided by wisdom, but still filled with wonder? And yes, a dating
- [Date for the Adventure (Dating 101)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-for-the-adventure-2/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: Dating 101 Part 4 Situation 1: You discover that someone is interested in you. Question: Should you ask them out? Situation 2: Someone asked you on a date. Question: Should you say, "yes"? Before you can correctly answer those questions, you need to consider this one: What is your vision
- [Date to Make Friends (Dating 101)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-to-make-friends/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: Dating 101 Part 3 A lot of folks out there claim they're dating "just for fun." But I don't buy it. It brings to mind this story related by Candice Watters, co-founder of Boundless. She writes... "I flipped to the Christian station to hear the hostess introducing her guests –
- [Date Like No One's Doing It (Dating 101)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-like-no-ones-doing/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: Dating 101 Part 2 You know what's funny? A lot of people long to date, because they feel like everyone's doing it. Of course, what's funny about that is they aren't. Indeed, fewer and fewer people are dating, as hanging out and hooking up is so much easier. And since
- [Date Because You’re Called (Dating 101)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/because-youre-called/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: Dating 101 Part 1 We date because we can, instead of because we are called. Believe it or don't: that's one of the myriad of reasons we have divorce. (Not sure you see the connection between why we date and why we get divorced? You aren't alone.) Have you considered
- [Our 50th Post on Sex](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/50th-post-sex/) - Yes. The title of this post is true. So after 49 different posts on the topic of sex, what's left to say in a 50th? Here are 50 quick thoughts (some essential truths, some private confessions): God made it up. God knows what He's doing. That includes sex. It's a good gift. As with any
- [Afraid of Losing at Love?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/losing-at-love/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: 3 Truths about Love Truth #3 "You've lost that lovin' feeling," the Righteous Brothers lamented. However, the poet, Alfred Lord Tennyson, believed, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Then again, the biggest hit ever from art-rock outfit, Yes, asserts the "owner of
- [Looking for Love?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/looking-for-love/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: 3 Truths about Love Truth #1 Are you out there looking for love? You're not alone. Yet you might feel like you are. However, 66% of those under the age of 18 have never dated anyone ever. While for those 18 and over the reality is this: Over half the
- [Tell on Porn Before it Tells on You](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/porn-sharing/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: The Porn Posts Post 4 It's one thing to confess to the God who already knew all along about your sin. The God who promises to respond to true confession not only with forgiveness, but with understanding, grace, mercy, hope, and peace. Now it's time to confess to someone else; perhaps
- [Death by Porn](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/death-porn/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: The Porn Posts Post 3 Before we take our next step in freedom from porn, I feel compelled to address something I didn't mention in my last post: shame. Shame is not of God. It is of the devil. Shame is the feeling Satan loves to bring on us when
- [It's OK. God Already Knows about the Porn.](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/ok-god-already-knows-porn/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: The Porn Posts Post 2 You want to be free from porn? I did too. And since 2001 I have been. That's 13 years. How would you like to be able to say, "I've been free from porn for 13 years"? How about just three years? Or three Months? It's
- [16 Things I Love about Life after Porn](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/16-things-i-love-about-life/) - If you didn't know, pornography will kill you. Eventually. It's what sin does. And likely before then it will make you wish you were dead. It did that for me at one time. Made me wish I was dead, that is. It didn't actually kill me. Obviously. Unless I'm a ghost. (Would that make me
- [Honor Sex](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/honor-sex/) - Our main discussion series on dating is called Purpose Driven Dating. Among various recommendations, we warn against the temptation to turn sexual arousal into a recreational activity. Notice: we don’t say merely, "don’t have sex on a date." We encourage wise individuals to avoid even sexual arousal while dating. Is sex “recreational”? In a word:
- [TOP5 Hottest Posts of 2017](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top5-2017/) - We hope our Date Night Advice (DNA) blog can be an oasis of truth and beauty in the relational dessert that is our culture. However, with over 300 posts on tap, a new visitor may wonder where to begin. How about starting with the TOP5 most read posts of last year? It could also prove
- [Watch What You Watch (Sex Part 5)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/watch-watch-sex-part-5/) - Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #2: Sexual Intercourse Imagine a love story that goes like this: Boy meets girl. Boy gets to know girl among family and friends who know both of them well. Boy asks girl to date him. Girl says yes. Boy and girl grow closer. But not
- [What Romance has in common with Santa Claus](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/romance-common-santa-claus/) - What does romance have in common with Santa Claus? Does it sound like I was stretching for this seasonal post? Come on! When it comes to mistletoe magic, St. Nick's got it going on! Why he's probably even kissed your mom! I won't say precisely whether he has or hasn't, but I will divulge that
- [Don't Miss the Awe this Christmas!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dont-miss-the-awe-this-christmas/) - [We interrupt our normally scheduled programming on sex, dating and relationships to bring you this special holiday presentation... but if you really want something on sex read this, something on dating read this or something on relationships read this.] Awe. It's a word more likely to be used in conjunction with kittens ("Awe! Aren't they
- [Seek to be (and Find) a Good Friend (Part II)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/seek-to-be-and-find-a-good-friend-part-ii/) - Back in 1989, when Julie and I first met at Baylor University, I had heard many times that the best kind of love story started off as a friendship that over time blossomed into a romance. So armed with this data, I would identify a girl I wanted for a girlfriend and try to “just
- [My Girlfriend is Jesus](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/and-the-award-for-spookiest-love-song-goes-to/) - Have you ever heard a worship song referred to as a "Jesus is my girlfriend" song? That's when the words to the song are so intimate it borders on the romantic, sensual or even sexual. Of course, worship songs are all about God, but when you start talking about feeling Him under your skin, or
- [Are You a Dating Legalist? (Because I Can Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/are-you-a-dating-legalist-because-i-can-part-1/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #10: Because I Can We're kicking off the first of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date this weekend with... #10: Because I can Some people date just because they can. – Their parents told them they could date at a certain age, and when
- [The Business of Dating (Because I Can Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/the-business-of-dating-because-i-can-part-2/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #10: Because I Can We continue with #10 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date: Because I can. We established last weekend, the question shouldn’t be, “Can you,” but, “Should you?” “Can I,” is about what’s possible or permissible. “Should I,” is about what’s
- [Final Confessions of a Former Dating Legalist. (Because I Can Part 3)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/final-confessions-of-a-former-dating-legalist-because-i-can-part-3/) - Date Night Advice (DNA) series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #10: Because I Can Some date just because they can. They’re old enough, they’re smart enough, and dog-gone-it people will go out with them. The favorable gender ratio found at Baylor University in 1989 meant I finally qualified and so I started dating. A
- [What Farmers Can Teach Us about Fornication (Sex Part 10)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/farmers-can-teach-us-fornication-sex-part-10/) - Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #2: Sexual Intercourse We began this series on sex with the cold, hard, ugly, unpopular Biblical truth about sex, but through the posts that followed I sought to unveil the loving, brilliant, beautiful, protective wisdom that both undergirds and flows from that truth. To wrap
- [Setting Sex Free (Sex Part 9)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/setting-sex-free-sex-part-9/) - Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #2: Sexual Intercourse We left last week's post with the question, "Is sex a performance?" Here's the crux of the matter: if sex is just a performance, then a great sex life will require a lifetime of great performances. If that's so, you'll want to
- [Sexually Pure or Pure Legalism? (Sex Part 6)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sexually-pure-pure-legalism-sex-part-6/) - Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date Dumb Reason #2: Sexual Intercourse Last week I shared a strategy for sexual purity: watch what you watch. And with this recommendation, I clarified that it’s likely the porn you’re drawn to when you’re alone at night isn’t the problem – at least not the source of
- [Relational Reporter: Joshua Harris arrested for Date Crimes](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/joshua-harris-arrested/) - A class action suit brought by the organization, We Want to Punch 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' Right in the Kisser (WWTPIKDGRITK ) has finally resulted in the first step of what many hope will spell justice for everyone who ever read Joshua Harris' book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye or it's follow-up, Boy Meets Girl. Harris
- [True Love Doesn't Just Wait](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/true-love-doesnt-just-wait/) - Not everyone gets to meet their wife's ex-boyfriend from high school, much less, gets the privilege of anticipating that meeting. It was the Summer of '09. My wife, Julie, and I packed the kids into the minivan for a pilgrimage to Topeka, KS where we would join many other pilgrims for a reunion of the
- [My Prom Night Post](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/my-prom-night-post/) - This is a first. As I type these words I'm waiting for the return of my oldest son, Holt, from his senior prom. Obviously not an every-day occurrence, but certainly the perfect backdrop for a post about dating. Prom. It almost makes your palms sweaty just thinking about it, doesn't? Talk about pressure!! Whether you
- [Why You Don't have Time to Make Out on a Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/time-to-make-out/) - Want to feel close to someone? Make out with them. Actually, forget that. You don't have to make out. You don't even have to touch! Scientific studies show activities as simple as staring into one another's eyes for several minutes can increase feelings of closeness. The key word there is: feelings. As in "feelings of
- [The Middle Schooler's Guide to Dating](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/middle-schoolers-dating/) - Usually a guide is full of guidelines, but in the case of the Middle Schooler's Guide to Dating (#MSG2D), everything really boils down to just one guideline. Actually just one word! "One word," you ask? "Can it be true?" Yes it can. And it is. Here's that one one-word guideline for all middle schoolers hoping
- [TOP10 Reasons You Shouldn't Drink & Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dont-drink-date/) - Don’t drink and date. No, I’m not recommending dehydration. Enjoy water, juice or soft drinks. I’m talking about alcohol. I know. I’m no fun. I’d rather see you enjoy healthy relationships than have fun. Actually, I had a blast dating and I never touched the stuff. You can too. Fun comes and goes. Healthy relationships
- [Is Your Date Already Dating Porn?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/already-dating-porn/) - Imagine if you meet your date this weekend and they introduce you to the other person they're already dating. I mean, seriously dating. As in, they spend a considerable amount of time with them every month. Maybe every week. Or night. Up for a challenge? What if the other person is unbelievably gorgeous. We're talking
- [Life is Short! So Take the Risk!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/life-is-short/) - As I begin this blog it is almost 3:30 AM. This is not my normal writing time, but the last ten hours of my life have not been normal. I am sitting in the emergency room of Vanderbilt Hospital with my oldest son. After being hit by a pickup truck while riding his bike, his
- [Let's Get Intimate](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/lets-get-intimate/) - Back when I was ten years old, Olivia Newton John released the hugest pop hit of the moment: Let's Get Physical. And as a result, every single public school variety show featured at least one group of prepubescent girls aerobicizing to that song. (And apparently, as seen in this video, the popularity of the song
- [TOP5 Hottest Posts of 2016](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top5-hottest-posts-2016/) - Sometimes I wonder if I talk about sex too much. My kids at home would say, "YES!" But this year's TOP5 suggests I may not talk about it enough. For though only 15 of the 52 pieces we published in 2016 were about sexually related topics (that's 29%), four out of the TOP5 most read
- [Introducing the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/introducing-the-top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/) - When you date? Do you know why? Most who date don’t. And worse – those who do are oftentimes looking for the wrong things. So which are you? One of those just hoping to find some vague thing of value on your next date (or hoping to somehow establish your own value)? One of those
- [Great Questions for Great Dates (Part 2: Values & Convictions)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/questions-values-convictions/) - At Future Marriage University, we believe dating should be intentional time invested in one other person for the purpose of growing in intimacy that might lead to a life-giving, life-long marriage. We call that purpose-driven dating. If that sounds too scary, this isn't your post. Consider watching this one quick video instead. However, if you
- [6 Reasons Brad & Angelina's Marriage is Worth Saving](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/brad-angelinas-marriage/) - "It was a grand Hollywood romance that made its presence felt far and wide... Now, with a lawyer’s blandly worded press statement on Tuesday morning, the love story of Angelina Jolie Pitt and Brad Pitt, who were married in 2014, has come to an unhappy end." So Valeriya Safronova reported this week in the New
- [How to Avoid Your Next Mistake](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/how-to-avoid-your-next-mistake/) - "You look like my next mistake Love's a game, wanna play?" "I should just tell you to leave 'cause I Know exactly where it leads but I Watch us go 'round and 'round each time" "Cause, baby, now we got bad blood You know it used to be mad love" That's just a quick sampling
- [How to Avoid Your Single-Life Crisis](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/avoid-single-life-crisis/) - [WARNING: If you're single and in your late twenties or older, this post might be difficult for you to read, but if you know and love family and friends in the 16-25 age bracket, you might consider putting on some tough skin, reading it and, if you relate to what I'm trying to communicate, forwarding
- [Not Your Normal Promise Ring](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/not-your-normal-promise-ring/) - Our oldest daughter, Claire, turns 13 tomorrow. To celebrate I took her out for a special Father-Daughter date last night where I gave her a promise ring. But it's not your normal promise ring as you will see from the letter I share with you below. For the ladies, I pray you'll hear your Heavenly
- [Great Dates don't Happen by Accident](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/by-accident/) - At Future Marriage University (FMU) we believe something extraordinary: that dating can be both fun and meaningful. However, it can't be that way by accident. If you want a dating life that's both fun and meaningful, you have to date smart. That's why every single week at the FMU main offices we serve up Date
- [Is it a Date or just Coffee?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/is-it-a-date-or-just-coffee/) - Last week we introduced purpose-driven dating like this: Dating that is personally approved and chaperoned by Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life. OK. Not really. Here's the real deal... Purpose-Driven Dating: intentional time invested in one other person for the purpose of growing in intimacy that might lead to a life-giving, life-long marriage.
- [A Different Approach to Dating](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/a-different-approach-to-dating/) - Many believe a great date is about what you do; the activity; the experience. It's about entertaining and impressing. I used to believe that and would go to great lengths to put together some memorable moments. Like the time my partner-in-double-dating, David, and I prepared a picnic dinner on the 50-yard line of the Baylor
- [Dating: Go Big or STAY Home!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dating-go-big-or-stay-home/) - I'm going to guess something about you. You think you might want to get married sometime before you die. Actually, 92% of 13-24 year-olds admit they either probably or definitely want to be married, so if you're reading a post on dating, the odds were forever in my favor for guessing right, even more so
- [Marriage Will Make You Fat (And Other Such Nonsense)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/marriage-will-make-fat-nonsense-2/) - The Huffington Post recently published 10 Reasons It's Totally Fine To Never Get Married. The article promises to present "valid reasons that remaining unhitched could actually leave you better off financially, mentally and even physically." Unfortunately, though there are certainly valid reasons why someone might not want to marry, the ten reasons I quote verbatim
- [TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with Summer](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/sex-common-summer/) - No matter where this Summer day takes you, take a moment sometime, pour yourself a tall glass of ice cold lemonade and contemplate the TOP5 Things Sex has in common with Summer. And when you have time, check out a hyperlink or two and go deeper. #5: Heat No, not every sexual encounter is hot,
- [Search Your Feelings – Before You Date! (Somebody Asked Me Part 5)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/search-your-feelings-before-you-date-somebody-asked-me-part-5/) - To wrap up our discourse on #7 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date, “Somebody asked me,” consider this scenario: you receive the date invitation you’ve always dreamed of… from someone you’ve never dreamed of dating. I’m not talking about someone you know is bad for you. This isn’t someone who’s irresponsible, insensitive, dishonest or
- [It's Time to Change Your Relationship Status (Status Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/relationship-status-contented/) - I know this series is called the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date, but as I considered Reason #5, “Status,” I couldn’t help, but think about the many who only desire the status of “dating” in the hopes that they can eventually win a promotion to the status of “married.” If that's not you, skip this
- [Light Up Your Dating Life (Everyone's Doing It Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/light-up-your-dating-life-everyones-doing-it-part-2/) - This week we wrap up our discussion of #9 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date: Everyone’s Doing It. We already established the obvious last week: everyone is NOT dating, but we also addressed why it still feels as though the contrary were true. Then I ended last week’s post with the question: What is
- [Dateless? You're Not Alone! (Everyone's Doing It Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dateless-youre-not-alone-everyones-doing-it-part-1/) - We’re presenting the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date and this week we hit #9: Everyone’s Doing It. Now for starters, can I ask you, “Do you think that’s true?” Of course not. Everyone is not dating. In fact, odds are if you go down your list of non-married friends and acquaintances, MOST of them are
- [TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with the Apocalypse (TOP10 Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top5-things-sex-has-in-common-with-the-apocalypse-top10-part-2/) - In this weekend's DNA, we finish off last week's TOP10. #5: They both generate heat! Of course everyone knows we won’t be roasting marshmallows in the flames of the apocalypse. That fire is feared. However, the flames of passion can be every bit as dangerous. Instinctively we know this, but the heat of passion can
- [TOP10 Things Sex has in Common with the Apocalypse (Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top10-things-sex-has-in-common-with-the-apocalypse-part-1/) - In celebration of the Mayans, Y2K and the melting polar icecaps we humbly submit: TOP10 Things Sex has in Common with the Apocalypse. #10: Zombies An apocalypse without zombies would be like Christmas without Salvation Army Bell Ringers. But what many never imagine is how carelessly giving yourself away in so-called casual sex can take
- [What I Learned from Arnold Schwarzenegger About Dating (Just For Fun Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/what-i-learned-from-arnold-schwarzenegger-about-dating-just-for-fun-part-2/) - This week we pick up where we left off in our discussion of #8 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date: Just for fun. Last week I unveiled my diabolical plan for Danielle,* a creative date to top them all: The Total Recall Date. In the original Total Recall cinematic release, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character wakes
- [Five Fun Date Ideas that Work - and One that Didn't (Just For Fun Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/five-fun-date-ideas-that-work-and-one-that-didnt-just-for-fun-part-1/) - It’s a gr8 time to talk about #8 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to D8: Just for fun. What? Huh? Fun – Bad? What’s wrong with fun? Well nothing’s wrong with fun. I couldn’t imagine my college experience at Baylor without the crazy dating memories! My first date with Julie (now my wife) was to
- [How to Date like Batman](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-like-batman/) - Unlike most superheroes, Batman doesn't actually have any superpowers. He just has a sharp intellect. Oh, and the requisite billions necessary to turn his wildest dreams into handy-dandy bat tools with which to save the day. That, and he has to undergo multiple rounds of intense physical training. Some love that about Batman while others
- [What’s Driving YOUR Sex Drive?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/whats-driving-your-sex-drive/) - I don’t want to come across as a conspiracy theorist, but I’m pretty sure we’ve been lied to. And if it was only by the entertainment industry I wouldn’t say anything. Even if it was just the media, I might still stay quiet. But our public schools are in on it. That’s what makes me
- [TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with the World Cup](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/top5-things-sex-common-world-cup/) - In honor of sports fans everywhere, even at the risk of getting a red card, FMU, in conjunction with FIFA proudly presents: TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with the World Cup! #5: International Appeal Football (soccer as it's known in our little corner of the universe) boasts a world-wide appeal rivaled by no other
- [Making Out in a Hot Tub Full of Frozen Waffles (I'm Curious Part 3)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/making-out-in-a-hot-tub-full-of-frozen-waffles-im-curious-part-3/) - To close out our discussion of #6 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date, “I’m Curious,” I’d like to suggest that personal experience is not the only way you can satisfy your curiosity about dating, romance or making out (in a hot tub full of frozen waffles on a glass elevator filled with stage fog
- [Take Your Dating Life to the Next Level](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/take-your-dating-life-to-the-next-level/) - We're talking about Purpose-Driven Dating, which we define as follows: intentional time invested in one other person for the purpose of growing in intimacy that might lead to a life-giving, life-long marriage. This week we focus on this part of that definition: ...time invested in one other person... In doing so, I will share a
- [Marriage: Do Your Expectations Make Sense?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/marriage-expectations-make-sense/) - Is the fear of divorce holding your desire for marriage in a headlock? Maybe even holding it hostage for a million dollar ransom in unmarked bills delivered in an aluminum briefcase? Then this post is for you. The far-too-frequent failure of marriage shouldn't be a mystery. Any number of easy-to-grasp realities explain why marriage in
- [What Cats Can Teach Us about Dating (I'm Curious Part 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/what-cats-can-teach-us-about-dating-im-curious-part-1/) - This week the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date returns and we pick up where we left off with #6: “I’m curious.” Though that motivation may not seem all that dumb at first glance, let us recall the ancient proverb: curiosity killed the cat. Now at this point, you may be thinking: 1. I’m not a
- [Better than Falling in Love (I'm Curious Part 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/something-better-than-falling-in-love/) - In the post introducing #6 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date, "I’m Curious," I disclosed one of my personal dating daydreams: “Maybe we’ll find ourselves on the dance floor with the spotlight on just the two of us, and as the music crescendos while magic sparkle dust falls from the sky, we’ll look deeply
- [Fraklin Smart Single Study Groups!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/fraklin-smart-single-study-groups/) - Are you a college student or single living in the Nashville area? Join an FMU Smart Single Study Group near you. We'll be walking through TOP10 Marriage Tips for Smart Singles, Part 2: The Three Gets. (Click the link for more info on the study guide.) Classes meet at 7 PM Thursdays, Feb 10 through
- [Is God Asking You to Get Dirty?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/is-god-asking-you-to-get-dirty/) - Remember the fascinating story of Naaman? He was the Commander of the Army of Syria, but he came down with leprosy and winds up coming to the prophet Elisha for healing. Whew. That was humbling. After all, Elisha happened to be the prophet of a people whom Commander Naaman had conquered. What could a prophet
- [Hope for a Somber Christmas Season](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/hope-for-a-somber-christmas-season/) - Not many uplifting poems begin with the line, "There'll always be pain," but I hope the lyrics of this song will bring you the kind of real-life comfort we need this Christmas season, one where elementary school kids are slaughtered for seemingly no reason. Hope* There'll always be pain. There'll always be fear. We'll always
- [OUCH!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/ouch/) - Is there someone in your life with whom you simply don’t interact… someone you can’t stand… someone for whom the mere mention of their name stands the hair up on the back of your neck? Did they hurt you? Reject you? Take advantage of you? Ignore you? Humiliate you? Slander you? Steal something from you?
- [Why Does This Keep On Happening?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/why-does-this-keep-on-happening/) - It’s the year 2000. My wife and I had been married for almost 7 years. We survived Y2K. Things were looking up, so we bought our first house just 3 months after getting pregnant with our 3rd child. And 3 months later I was laid off. No job… no money for a new mortgage and
- [Communication Is Overrated](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/communication-is-overrated/) - This week, Buck and Sasha address the question: “What is the single most important relational skill?” Sasha’s pretty convinced its communication… and you may agree. However, many eloquent, crystal-clear communicators get divorced. In fact, many a marriage has ended with one partner clearly communicating… “I don’t love you anymore.” “I don’t think I can live
- [Got Vulnerability?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/got-vulnerability/) - Could you imagine if no one talked about their career unless they were: A. About to land a job. B. Lost a job. Or C. Looking for a job Of course not!! Most employed folks talk about their job all the time. And college students looking toward their future will discuss their career preparation, aspirations
- [Introducing FMU DNA (Date Night Advice)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/introducing-fmu-dna-date-night-advice/) - Starting this year, I've been posting Date Night Advice (DNA) every weekend up on the FMU Facebook page, but thought I'd begin doing that here on my FMU Website blog instead, so for starters: here's the first few DNA posts. Let us know if any of them are particularly helpful or if you'd like a
- [Roz Row The Boat Ashore](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/roz-row-the-boat-ashore/) - [This post is written not by myself, but by Julie, my absolutely amazing, wise and thoughtful wife. Please read the article she references first: http://www.newsweek.com/2011/03/20/my-transoceanic-midlife-crisis.html] Roz Savage was a woman looking to find herself. In this article she explains how she did it and Newsweek believes it's an example to follow. I think she took
- [Stop Gazing at Reflections](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/stop-gazing-at-reflections/) - It was a cold cold bike ride this evening; cold for Tennessee, at least. Maybe folks in Minneapolis jump on their bike in 24-degree wind chill all the time, but I didn’t see another cyclist on the roads of Franklin today. It was worth it though, just for the sunset: light blue, and turquoise and
- [Prepare NOT to Lose](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/prepare-not-to-lose/) - I have a friend who shared with me his two biggest fears: bankruptcy and divorce. As a single, what would yours be - never marrying at all; or perhaps marrying only to wind up divorced... and alone again? I ask this after reflecting on my "Pick One" blog from last June. I asked you to
- [Pick One](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/pick-one/) - My first career after college was in radio advertising and in my initial visit with a perspective advertising client, I tried to get them to tell me their one competitive advantage – the one single area where they believed they decisively beat their competition. I say “tried to get them to tell me” because it
- [We're Looking For Elvis](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/were-looking-for-elvis/) - Marriage Ed is in the midst of a vital revamp including a new name and new marketing approach. Why? Because at our last Marriage Ed Saturday Seminar for Singles over half of our attendees admitted they didn’t want to come to the seminar. Let me say that again. At least HALF of those that DID
- [Where's Your Ghost?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/wheres-your-ghost/) - I took James by himself out to lunch for the first time recently. James is our 5-year-old foster son who just moved in with us at the start of the year. We had a nice time, but I was surprised by his answer to the question, “What’s your favorite thing about your former foster home.”
- [Be Prepared Before You Fall In Love](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/be-prepared-before-you-fall-in-love/) - Either this is the umpteenth stop you’ve made to this site or you just dropped in for your first visit. Regardless, our next Saturday Seminar For Singles is THIS SATURDAY! Is it for you? Depends. Are you single? (Doesn’t matter if you’re dating, engaged or divorced.) Do you believe that marriage (or remarriage) is probably
- [Who Are Buck & Sasha?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/who-are-buck-sasha/) - Have you ever spent 20+ days in a van with a bunch of musicians? Well, I have now. In fact, as I clickity-clack on the keyboard, I’m on a plane to Houston to meet up with the guys of Sevenglory (http://www.sevenglory.com/v2/default.html)… again…. for four more days of adventure in their trusty van visiting radio stations
- [I Could Not Love You [More]](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/i-could-not-love-you-more/) - For my wife’s birthday this year, I wrote her a song. This doesn’t happen often. In fact, up until 7 years of marriage I had only written one song for her. That bugged her because I’d written songs for other girls that I had fallen for before Julie and I started dating. And for one
- [I Can't Believe I'm Doing This](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/i-cant-believe-im-doing-this/) - Marriage Log: 5,094 We’ve been registering folks for our Saturday seminar for singles at our church. And last Sunday we had several more sign up, but there was one in particular I remember well. She approached our table at the back reluctantly. She filled out her registration awkwardly. And as she was writing her check,
- [Final Appeal before 11/3](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/final-appeal-before-113/) - Marriage Log: Day 5,090 My mom gave me a marriage book Christmas of my Junior year in college. My mom was always giving me books… and she was always one step ahead. I got the “Exciting changes are about to happen to your body” book before I hit puberty. The “you’re going to start liking
- [Green Eggs & Ham](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/green-eggs-ham/) - One of my favorite books was written by a doctor... Dr. Suess. It's called Green Eggs & Ham and if you've never read it before, it's about this door-to-door breakfast salesman named Sam-I-Am that tries to get this unnamed consumer to try green eggs & ham. And just like you, if offered green eggs &

## Pages

- [Welcome](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/) - Practical, Biblical answers to your questions about sex, dating & relationships so you can date with clarity, confidence & courage on your journey to marriage.
- [Welcome to our SECRET Instagram Page!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/instagram-2/) - Thanks for clicking the link on our Instagram profile page! If a specific Instagram post inspired your last click, here's what you want to do: Simply scroll down and find your pic. (Hint: They're listed chronologically, so if it's older you'll need to scroll further down.) Then click on the image and you'll be taken
- [Relation^ology (High School)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/relhs/) - REGISTER HERE Relation^ology is a discipleship class that begins with the end in mind. The end of your life. Yes. Sounds morbid, but if you want to be truly successful, there’s no more important area of your life where you want to succeed than in relationships. Yet the majority of education is centered on academics and
- [College Ministry](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/college-ministry/) - Want a speaker who can do the following? Connect with your college group in a clear and compelling way Share practical, biblical truth on sex, dating, and relationships Also be funny Well observe this picture of students laughing, because it isn’t a stock photo. It’s a group of real life college students caught in the
- [Live Free from Porn](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/topic-porn/) - If you struggle with porn, you are not alone. But even cooler? When you find freedom from porn you won't be alone then either. In other words, freedom is possible. I (you can call me MJ) have found it, and so have many others! Here are a couple posts sharing my story along with the
- [Date Like You Know What You're Doing](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-like-you-know/) - GET A FREE CHAPTER BUY FROM PUBLISHER BUY FROM AMAZON AUDIO BOOK READ EXCERPTS A dating life that leads to a life-giving, lifelong marriage doesn’t happen by accident. You need to know what you’re doing. That’s why I wrote this book to empower you to: Discern God’s will for your dating life. Avoid heartbreak, rejection,
- [Teach Them Diligently 2026](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/ttd26/) - Is your child’s future marriage as important as their future career? We believe it’s even MORE important! That’s why, at Future Marriage University, we equip teens and young adults to prepare for their future marriage like a successful career: intentionally, intelligently and IN ADVANCE! And to come alongside you as parents, we’ve developed a new
- [Playbill](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/playbill/) - STRONG RELATIONSHIPS = STRONG FUTURE Learn to thrive in relationships! At Future Marriage University (FMU), we equip teens and young adults to navigate relationships with clarity, confidence, and courage. Our focus is dating—but not only dating. We believe that learning to love God and relate well to friends and family is the
- [Learn to Forgive](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/topic-forgiveness/) - [Click HERE for your free PDF copy of Forgiveness 101 (if the link does not work for your server, email us at the address on our contact page)] One Friday over 2,000 years ago, the Son of God hung on a cross and pronounced... "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."
- [Contact](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/contact/) - E-mail us: info@f-m-u.com Old-school mail: Future Marriage University 188 Front St., Suite 116-17 Franklin, TN 37064 Want to know more about us? What would you like to know? Our personal story Our core beliefs FMU is a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit, so every donation is tax deductible.
- [An Evening with Future Marriage University](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/eve26/) - Tuesday, April 14th was a beautiful evening to raise awareness and support for the mission of Future Marriage University: empowering students and young adults to grow spiritually and date wisely so they can marry well. We’re praising the Lord for $43,413.46 raised toward our $45,000 goal, helping us launch the Before Your Child Dates: The
- [LoveEd Classes](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/classes/) - What is LoveEd? Short for Love Education, LoveEd is the missing link between the sex ed you get in middle school and the premarital counseling you don’t get until you think you’ve already found “the one.” What does LoveEd offer you? LoveEd delivers practical, Biblical answers to your questions about sex, dating, and relationships
- [Date Like You Know Class](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-like-you-know-class/) - REGISTRATION FOR IN-PERSON CLASS Many young adults want to date, but fear heartbreak, rejection, and regret. While many who are dating struggle with sexual brokenness, unrealistic expectations, confusion, and fear. Date Like You Know is designed to guide you to… Prepare to date like you’d prepare for any worthy endeavor: before. you. ever. begin! Know
- [DatePrep Class](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dateprep-class/) - REGISTER FOR IN-PERSON CLASS High school students may want to date, but fear heartbreak, rejection and regret. And their parents fear more than that! DatePrep class helps you… Prepare to date like you’d prepare for any worthy endeavor: before. you. ever. begin! Know when you’re ready to date. Grasp confidently both the purpose and goal
- [Relation^ology (Young Adult)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/relya/) - REGISTER HERE! RELATION^OLOGY is a discipleship class that begins with the end in mind. The end of your life. Yes. Sounds morbid, but if you want to be truly successful, there’s no more important area of your life where you want to succeed than in relationships. Yet the majority of education is centered on academics
- [Our Story](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/heres-our-story/) - We're Michael and Julie Johnson. Married since 1993 Parents since 1996 Co-founders of Future Marriage University (FMU) since 2015 Though we didn't incorporate as a 501(c)(3) non-profit until 2015, I (Michael) have been studying, writing, speaking, and teaching on the topics of sex, dating, and relationships, from a practical, Biblical perspective since 2003. However... When
- [Speaking](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/speaking/) - Michael Johnson (aka MJ): Connects with students, young adults, and the people who love them in a clear and compelling way. Shares practical, biblical truth on sex, dating, and relationships. Makes people laugh. And think. And laugh some more. LET'S TALK For just a taste, enjoy this quick two-minute clip from MJ’s message, The Secret
- [Year End Matching Challenge](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/yearend25/) - Situationships. Hookups. Cohabitating. These are today’s dating norms, even in the church! Concerned parents are searching for support to guide their teens and young adults toward a life-giving, lifelong marriage. Future Marriage University is meeting that need! Through our parental guidance webpage, convention workshops, and local parent nights, we’re equipping moms and dads to disciple
- [Date Like You Know/DatePrep (week 3)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dateprep-wk3/) - Discussion Questions: Session 3.1: Stranger Danger (Part 1) Chapter 4 What can we learn from the Gibeonite's deception of Joshua to help us date wiser? (See pages 48-49 in the book or look up Josh 9:3-16 - NOT quoted in the book.) How would you describe the difference between making sacrifices for someone and enduring
- [Teach Them Diligently 2025](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/ttd25/) - Is your child’s future marriage as important as their future career? We believe it’s even MORE important! That’s why, at Future Marriage University, we equip teens and young adults to prepare for their future marriage like a successful career: intentionally, intelligently and IN ADVANCE! And to come alongside you as parents, we’ve developed a curriculum
- [An Evening with Future Marriage University 2025](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/eve25/) - It was a joyful night on April 8th as we celebrated ten years as a non-profit while raising awareness and support for the mission of Future Marriage University: empowering students and young adults to grow spiritually and date wisely so they can marry well. Thanks to your generosity, we raised $32,876.62 and we are grateful
- [Donate](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/donate/) - We are thankful, blessed beyond measure and appreciative of all donations made to FMU. FMU is a 501(c)(3) non-profit, so donations are tax deductible. Venmo @fmuniversity Credit Card/Paypal Check 188 Front St., Suite 116-17 Franklin, TN 37064
- [Pursue Sexual Purity](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/topic-purity/) - Purity isn't just a good idea. It's a freedom worth fighting for. Not sure what purity has to do with freedom? Are you more apt to associate purity with lists, limits, and legalism? Well you must not know the bondage of sexual sin then, because most who indulge their sexual appetite eventually discover it takes
- [VISION 2024](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/vision24/) - Did you know the highest predictor of happiness is a great marriage? Yet research shows 88% of today’s parents are focused on education and career for their children, not future marriage and family.* As many parents look elsewhere and the marriage rate continues to fall, God is using Future Marriage University to restore hope. Future
- [Date Like You Know/DatePrep (week 2)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dateprep-wk2/) - Discussion Questions: Session 2.1: Friends Don't Let Friends Date Dumb Chapter 2 How does living according to license (i.e. doing whatever we can instead of what we should) wind up limiting our freedom? (See page 21-22 in the book or look up 1 Cor 6:12.) How can we fight the temptation to date (or do
- [Our Core Beliefs about Sex, Dating, Relationships, & Marriage](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/our-core-beliefs/) - Future Marriage University (FMU) is a discipleship ministry with a unique mission: empower students and young adults to grow spiritually and date wisely so they can marry well. But in today’s culture, spirituality has come to mean almost anything, while marriage has come to mean almost nothing. As for dating wisely, wisdom often seems incompatible
- [Relation^ology Class](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/relationology/) - If your relationships rock, your life will rock! Relation^ology equips you with the biblical foundation necessary for success in relationships with God and others. Relation^ology is best experienced through our in-person classes. You can also go through the material online with blogs & videos. Ready to Rock Your Relationships? “ I have learned so much
- [About](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/about/) - Hey! We’re Julie & MJ, Co-founders of Future Marriage University. Since 2003 we’ve been having a blast sharing practical, Biblical truth about sex, dating, and relationships with students and young adults. Through small group studies, speaking engagements, curriculum, and social media we are empowering future generations to grow spiritually and date wisely so they can
- [Thrive in Relationships](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/topic-relationships/) - Want to thrive in relationships? It ain’t easy. And yet, it’s imperative. Because whether you’re looking to scripture or science, healthy, whole, intimate relationships; the kind where you can know deeply and be deeply known; are not optional. They're essential And this makes sense. After all, we're image-bearers of a Creator who has existed for
- [Parental Guidance](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/parental-guidance/) - If you were looking for some parental guidance in connecting with your son or daughter on hot topics like sex, dating, and relationships, we crafted this resource page expressly for you. I'm Michael Johnson and my wife, Julie, and I have been partners in parenting our own brood of "blessings from above," consisting of three
- [An Evening with Future Marriage University 2024](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/eve24/) - God went ABOVE and BEYOND at our annual fundraiser this April, bringing in a total of $35,182. That’s 17% ABOVE and BEYOND our $30,000 annual fundraising goal, to reach more hearts of young people with practical, biblical guidance concerning sex, dating, and relationships! Do you sense God’s leading to join our mission to help teens
- [Date Like You Know/DatePrep (week 1)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dateprep-wk1/) - Discussion Questions: Session 1.1: Date Like You Know What You're Doing Intro What's the BEST dating advice you've ever heard? Where did you hear it? What's the WORST dating advice you've ever heard? Where did you hear it? Do you know someone personally who you feel dated WELL? What did they do RIGHT? Do you
- [Date Like You Know/Date Prep (week 8)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dateprep-wk8/) - Discussion Questions: Session 8.1: What Everyone should Know About Marriage Before They Ever Date Chapter 21 In what ways could your future marriage be as IMPORTANT, or even MORE important than your career? In what ways could your future marriage be as CHALLENGING, or even MORE challenging than your career? In what ways could your
- [Date Like You Know/DatePrep (week 4)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dateprep-wk4/) - Discussion Questions: Session 4.1: Three Dating Don'ts Chapter 7 Why is ditching your friends for your dating life unwise, unhealthy, and even dangerous? (See pages 85-86 in the book.) In asserting that someone with many companions may come to ruin, what is Prov 18:24 encouraging us to seek instead? (See page 90 in the book
- [Date Like You Know/DatePrep (week 5)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dateprep-wk5/) - Discussion Questions: Session 5.1: Jump Into Friends-First Dating Chapter 11 Why does God want us to “learn the material" more than "get an 'A'" in life, and how should that change how we pursue Him and His will?” (See pages 128-129 in the book.) If you find yourself wanting to do enough to keep God
- [Date Like You Know/Date Prep (week 6)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dateprep-wk6/) - Discussion Questions: Session 6.1: How to Know You’re Ready to Date Chapter 15 What in the world does honoring your parents have to do with success in dating? (See pages 183-187 in the book or look up Eph 6:1-3.) Why should you try to make peace in key relationships, if others won't meet you halfway?
- [Date Like You Know/Date Prep (week 7)](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dateprep-wk7/) - Discussion Questions: Session 7.1: How To Recognize "The One" Chapter 18 Which of the questions about reputation stand out to you and why? (See pages 219-220 in the book.) What's wrong with wanting to be someone's source of life transformation? (See pages 222-223 in the book.) Which of the questions about character stood out to
- [Student Ministry](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/student-ministry/) - Want a speaker who can connect with your students (and even their parents) in a clear and compelling way in order to share practical, biblical truth on sex, dating, and relationships? And also funny? Well observe this picture of students laughing, because it isn’t a stock photo. It’s a group of real life high schoolers
- [Succeed in Dating](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/topic-dating/) - We believe you can succeed in dating. And we want to help you. Success may not look like what you imagined. We can't promise you'll date a supermodel. Actually, we would rather help you prepare for and pursue a super marriage. Preferably before you ever start dating. Success may not be what you hoped. Success
- [What Students Say about LoveEd](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/what-students-say-about-loveed/) - FMU offers LoveEd (short for Love Education), the missing link between the sex ed you get in middle school and the premarital counseling you likely won’t seek until you believe you have already found “the one.” With LoveEd we deliver practical, Biblical answers to your questions about sex, dating, and relationships so you can date
- [Beyond Sex & Salvation](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/beyond-sex-salvation/) - Here’s what our readers have to say: “This is probably the easiest read I’ve ever had, in addition to being the one that made me stop the most. It was packed with Biblical wisdom which I thought I already knew, but had never considered looking at in these ways. It is light, fun but
- [Young Adult Classes](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/young-adult-classes/) - Registration OPEN NOW: Date Like You Know for young adults (18-30) begins February 6, 2024. Preview Night is January 30. This FMU LoveEd class equips you with the understanding and perspective necessary for a successful dating life - hopefully BEFORE you ever fall in love. Early bird special until Jan. 16! For more information and
- [High School Classes](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/high-school-classes/) - Registration OPEN NOW: DatePrep for high school students begins February 1, 2024. Parent Preview Night is January 18. This FMU LoveEd class equips you with a biblical perspective for a successful dating life - BEFORE you fall in love. Early bird special until Jan. 11! For more information and registration hit our EventBrite page. Or,
- [Understand Sex](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/topic-sex/) - Want to better understand sex? Surely no other topic in the world is talked about more and understood less. On the one hand, sex is promoted as the ultimate life experience you don't want to die without enjoying. At the same time, sex is downplayed as so inconsequential you ought to be free to enjoy
- [Date Like You Know What You're Doing](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/date-like-you-know-what-youre-doing/) - A dating life that leads to a life-giving, lifelong marriage doesn’t happen by accident. You need to know what you’re doing. That’s why I wrote this book to empower you to: Discern God's will for your dating life. Avoid heartbreak, rejection, and regret. Date with confidence and clarity. Win the war over sexual temptation. Let
- [COMING SOON!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/coming-soon-2/) - So excited you're here, but also sorry this newly designed website is a work in progress. And the page you're looking for simply isn't done yet. Thank you for your patience. And we appreciate your prayers that we'll get this website done!
- [Who Are You?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/who-are-you/) - Help us HELP YOU by sharing what brought you here. Are you a: High school or college student Single dude Someone who cares about them? Click a link below. Students Men Only Ministry Leaders Parents Only
- [Welcome Students](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/welcome-students/) - Welcome students! It’s time for a pop quiz: Would you rather your relationship life be… A. Complicated B. Needy and desperate C. All about you D. Whatever E. Rich and rewarding If you prefer your relationships rich and rewarding, then ring the bell, because class is in session! The mission of Future Marriage University (FMU)
- [Books](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/books/) - A dating life that leads to a life-giving, lifelong marriage doesn’t happen by accident. You need to know what you’re doing. That’s why I wrote this book to empower you to: Discern God’s will for your dating life. Avoid heartbreak, rejection, and regret. Date with confidence and clarity. Win the war over sexual temptation. Let
- [DATE LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/free-chapter/) - Get the free chapter, “Why It’s So Easy To Fall For The Wrong Person” Name Email Address I don't want to fall for the wrong person!
- [Overcome Heartbreak](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/topic-heartbreak/) - Struggling with heartbreak? Were you led on? Were you dumped? Want to get your ex back? Were you the one who had to break things off? Do you just want to move on? Far far away? Caught them with somebody else? Caught them with porn? Do you feel like you will never be able to
- [Take Me to Your Leader!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/leaders/) - Oh wait. You are the leader. Well in that case, we salute you! Where do you lead, O captain, my captain? Christian College/University Christian Middle or High School College Ministry Student Ministry Young Adults/Professionals Ministry Singles Ministry Family Ministry If any of the above apply you're in the right place, because we have a blast
- [Calling All Men](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/calling-all-men/) - If you're a man looking for sound Biblical advice on sex, dating and relationships, EUREKA! Glad you found us, because there is a needy world looking for you! Did you know that?! There are Godly women searching for loving husbands, future children who will need faithful fathers and entire communities dying for lack of strong
- [REGISTER NOW!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/register-now-relationology/) - In-person fall '23 classes are open for registration! Want to learn how to rock your relationships like a boss? Secure your place in our next LoveEd class or find more information by clicking the appropriate (young adult or high school) link below. Or watch the appropriate video first! Young Adults ONLY! High School
- [DatePrep](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/dateprep/) - Register here! Would you like to date like you know what you're doing? Then among other things, that's going to require having a vision for dating that is both inspiring and realistic. Proverbs 29:18 warns us, “Without a vision the people perish.” The Hebrew word for “perish” is also interpreted as “cast off restraint” or
- [Beyond Sex & Salvation 3: Life Decisions](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/beyond-sex-salvation-3-life-decisions/) - BUY NOW: Nook, iBooks, Kindle Beyond Sex & Salvation – Part 3 addresses three crucial life decisions you want to make before you fall in love. These are decisions many choose to postpone making. Unfortunately, choosing not to decide is another way of deciding. But making these three difficult decisions will set you free to
- [Beyond Sex & Salvation Book 1: Life Lessons](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/bss-book-1-life-lessons/) - Buy Now: Kindle, iBooks, Nook Beyond Sex & Salvation – Part 1 addresses three critical life lessons you want to learn before you fall in love. Preferably before you even date! Keep in mind, life lessons take a lifetime to learn. You’re not going to have them all sewed up in eight weeks, but you’ll be miles
- [Beyond Sex & Salvation 2: Life Disciplines](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/beyond-sex-salvation-2-life-disciplines/) - Buy Now: Kindle, iBooks, Nook Beyond Sex & Salvation – Part 2 presents the three key life disciplines you want to begin mastering before you fall in love. Even before you date. These are habits you’ve likely been encouraged to develop in the past, but lacked the motivation. However, when you discover the essential role these three
- [Welcome to our SECRET Instagram Page!](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/link-tree/) - Thanks for clicking the link on our Instagram profile page! If a specific Instagram post inspired your last click, here's what you want to do: Simply scroll down and find your pic. (Hint: They're listed chronologically, so if it's older you'll need to scroll further down.) Then click on the image and you'll be taken
- [Christian Dating Advice - FMU](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/christian-dating-advice-fmu/) - This is an example page. It's different from a blog post because it will stay in one place and will show up in your site navigation (in most themes). Most people start with an About page that introduces them to potential site visitors. It might say something like this: Hi there! I'm a bike messenger

## Categories

- [Uncategorized](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/uncategorized/)
- ["My Girlfriend is Jesus" Songs](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/my-girlfriend-is-jesus-songs/)
- [After They're Done With You](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/after-theyre-done-with-you/)
- [Beyond Sex and Salvation](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/)
- [Buck and Sasha](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/buck-and-sasha/)
- [Christmas](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/christmas/)
- [Commit to Seeking God](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-key-life-disciplines/commit-to-seeking-god/)
- [Contentment](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/contentment/)
- [Conversations with God](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/conversations-with-god/)
- [Counseling and Dating Don't Mix](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/counseling-and-dating-dont-mix/)
- [DATING](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/dating/)
- [Discontentment](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/discontentment/)
- [Do You Think Those Guys are Gay?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/do-you-think-those-guys-are-gay/)
- [Expectations](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/expectations/)
- [Falling in Love](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/falling-in-love/)
- [First Date Horror Stories](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/first-date-horror-stories/)
- [First Date: FAIL](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/first-date-fail/)
- [Forgiveness 101](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/forgiveness-101/)
- [Friends Don't Let Friends Date Dumb](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/friends-dont-let-friends-date-dumb/)
- [Friendship Over Romance](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/friendship-over-romance/)
- [Great Questions for Great Dates](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/great-questions-for-great-dates/)
- [Growing in Love](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/growing-in-love/)
- [Inspiration For Saving Sex](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/inspiration-for-saving-sex/)
- [It's COMPLICATED](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/its-complicated/)
- [Julie](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/julie/)
- [Keep Your Dating Life Out in the Open](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/keep-things-out-in-the-open/)
- [Keeping Love Alive](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/keeping-love-alive/)
- [Learn Contentment](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-critical-life-lessons/learn-contentment/)
- [Learn from My Mistakes](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/learn-from-my-mistakes/)
- [Learn to Discern](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-critical-life-lessons/learn-to-discern/)
- [Learn to Trust God](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-critical-life-lessons/learn-to-trust-god/)
- [MARRIAGE](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/marriage/)
- [MOST READ](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/most-read/)
- [Get a Job before You get a Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/get-a-job-before-you-get-a-date/)
- [My Ex Did it First](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/my-ex-did-it-first/)
- [PORN](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/porn/)
- [Preventing First Date FAILS](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/preventing-first-date-fails/)
- [Purpose-Driven Dating](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/purpose-driven-dating/)
- [Rejection](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/rejection/)
- [Romance](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/relationology/romance-intimacy-imposters/)
- [ROMANCE](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/romance-2/)
- [SEX](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/sex/)
- [SEX](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/relationology/sex-intimacy-imposters/)
- [SEX DRIVE](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/sex-drive/)
- [Sexual Compatibility](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/sexual-compatibility/)
- [Sexual Identity](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/sexual-identity/)
- [Stop Looking for The One and BECOME The One](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/stop-looking-for-the-one-and-become-the-one/)
- [Surviving Marriage](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/surviving-marriage/)
- [The Invitation](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/the-invitation/)
- [The Porn Posts](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/the-porn-posts/)
- [Things That Make You Go Ewww](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/things-that-make-you-go-ewww/)
- [3 Critical Life Lessons](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-critical-life-lessons/)
- [3 Key Life Disciplines](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-key-life-disciplines/)
- [TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/)
- [TOP10 Indicators You're on a Bad First Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-indicators-youre-on-a-bad-first-date/)
- [TOP10 Signs You're on a Bad First Date](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-signs-youre-on-a-bad-first-date/)
- [Things Sex Has in Common with...](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/things-sex-has-in-common-with/)
- [Trusting God](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/trusting-god/)
- [Type-B Sex](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/type-b-sex/)
- [WAITING](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/waiting/)
- [What Romance has in Common with...](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/what-romance-has-in-common-with/)
- [What's Driving Your Sex Drive?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/whats-driving-your-sex-drive/)
- [Whoops-Proof Your Dating Life](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/whoops-proof-your-dating-life/)
- [You've Got Fine Written All Over You](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/youve-got-fine-written-all-over-you/)
- […for the purpose of growing in intimacy…](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/purpose-driven-dating/for-the-purpose-of-growing-in-intimacy/)
- [...time invested in one other person...](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/purpose-driven-dating/time-invested-in-one-other-person/)
- [Acceptance](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/relationology/acceptance/)
- [Attention](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/relationology/attention/)
- [Because I Can](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/because-i-can/)
- [Belonging](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/belonging/)
- [Commit to Knowing God's Word](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-key-life-disciplines/commit-to-knowing-gods-word/)
- [Commit to Pursuing Community](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-key-life-disciplines/commit-to-pursuing-community/)
- [Curiosity](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/curiosity/)
- [Everyone's Doing It](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/everyones-doing-it-top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/)
- [Exclusivity](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/relationology/exclusivity/)
- [Fame](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/relationology/fame/)
- [Influence](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/relationology/influence/)
- [Intentional...](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/purpose-driven-dating/intentional/)
- [Just for Fun](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/just-for-fun/)
- [Sexual Intercourse](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/sexual-intercourse/)
- [Somebody Asked Me](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/somebody-asked-me/)
- [Status](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/status/)
- [To Find LOVE](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/love/)
- [...that MIGHT lead to...](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/purpose-driven-dating/might/)
- [...a life-giving, life-long marriage.](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/purpose-driven-dating/life-giving-life-long-marriage/)
- [Dating 101](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/dating-101/)
- [Date Hacks](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/date-hacks/)
- [The Single Life](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/the-single-life/)
- [Romance](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/top10-romance/)
- [DUMPED?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/dumped/)
- [MAN2MAN](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/man2man/)
- [RELATIONSHIPS](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/relationships/)
- [Sexual Purity](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/sexual-purity/)
- [MEN ONLY](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/men-only/)
- [Dating Don'ts](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/dating-donts/)
- [Dating in Middle School](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/dating-in-middle-school/)
- [Relation^ology](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/relationology/)
- [body image](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/body-image/)
- [The Naked Truth about Your Body](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/the-naked-truth-about-your-body/)
- [Why we do what we do](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/why-we-do-what-we-do/)
- [Make Peace with Your Loved Ones](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-crucial-life-decisions/make-peace-with-your-loved-ones/)
- [3 Crucial Life Decisions](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-crucial-life-decisions/)
- [Make Peace with Your Past](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-crucial-life-decisions/make-peace-with-your-past/)
- [TOP10 Benefits of Saving Sex for Marriage](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/top10-benefits-of-saving-sex-for-marriage/)
- [Surrender your Future to God](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/beyond-sex-and-salvation/3-crucial-life-decisions/surrender-your-future-to-god/)
- [RED FLAGS](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/red-flags/)
- [The Relational Reporter](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/the-relational-reporter/)
- [compatibility](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/compatibility/)
- [surviving the holidays](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/surviving-the-holidays/)
- [LONELINESS](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/loneliness/)
- [Sexual Things](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/sexual-things/)
- [3 Truths about Love](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/3-truths-about-love/)
- [What Marriage Vows Cannot Vow](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/what-marriage-vows-cannot-vow/)
- [Marriage Cannot Heal your Brokenness](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/what-marriage-vows-cannot-vow/marriage-cannot-heal-your-brokenness/)
- [Marriage Cannot End Your Loneliness](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/what-marriage-vows-cannot-vow/marriage-cannot-end-your-loneliness/)
- [Marriage Cannot Ensure your Happiness](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/what-marriage-vows-cannot-vow/marriage-cannot-ensure-your-happiness/)
- [Marriage Cannot Complete You](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/what-marriage-vows-cannot-vow/marriage-cannot-complete-you/)
- [Marriage Cannot Change Them](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/what-marriage-vows-cannot-vow/marriage-cannot-change-them/)
- [Breakups](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/breakups/)
- [Heartbreak](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/heartbreak/)
- [The Friend Zone](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/the-friend-zone/)
- [Talking to my Younger Self](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/talking-to-my-younger-self/)
- [Joshua Harris](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/joshua-harris/)
- [SATIRE](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/satire/)
- [John Crist](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/john-crist/)
- [Is This Going to Keep You Single?](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/is-this-going-to-keep-you-single/)
- [feminism](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/feminism/)
- [NFL](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/nfl/)
- [The Deepest Need of Your Soul](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/relationology/the-deepest-need-of-your-soul/)
- [Knowing God's WIll](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/knowing-gods-will/)
- [sex scandals](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/sex-scandal/)
- [Core Beliefs](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/core-beliefs/)
- [Date Like You Know What You're Doing](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/date-like-you-know-what-youre-doing/)
- [Abstinence](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/abstinence/)
- [hooking up](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/hooking-up/)
- [Cohabitation](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/cohabitation/)
- [Love Assassins](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/love-assassins/)
- [courtship/courting](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/courtship-courting/)
- [Sexting](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/sexting/)
- [How to Know God's Will](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/how-to-know-gods-will/)
- [Choosing God's Call Over Your Dreams](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/choosing-gods-call-over-your-dreams/)
- [Parenting Advice](https://futuremarriageuniversity.com/category/parenting-advice/)