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Discussion Questions:

Session 5.1

Chapter 11: A Friends-First Approach to Dating

  1. Why does God want us to “learn the material” more than “get an ‘A'” in life, and how should that change how we pursue Him and His will?” (See pages 128-129 in the book.)
  2. If you find yourself wanting to do enough to keep God happy, while doing enough to keep yourself happy, what does that reveal about your perception of God’s will? (See pages 129-130.)
  3. What do you like about the definition of Friends-First Dating? (See page 131.)
  4. Does the Friends-First Dating approach raise any concerns/questions for you? (See page 131.)
  5. Why do most daters tend to follow their feelings in their dating life instead of following the facts?

Session 5.2

Chapter 12: Ten Fresh Perspectives on Dating to Change Your Relationship Life

  1. How have you seen a lack of vision impact dating (and even marriage) in our culture? (See page 135 in the book or look up Proverbs 29:18.)
  2. If you believe you are called to marriage, what are some specific ways that should impact the way you date? (See page 136 in the book.)
  3. With 1 Peter 2:9-12 as your inspiration, brainstorm creative ways you could date like no one’s doing it. (See page 143 in the book or look up 1 Peter 2:9-12.)
  4. How does understanding that the purpose of your dating life is not marriage, but growing a friendship change the way you approach dating and enjoy each date? (See pages 146-148 in the book.)

Chapter 13: Casting a Vision for Your Dating Life

  1. How would it change your dating life if you viewed it as a grand adventure to embark on instead of a series of opportunities to take advantage of? (See pages 149-152 in the book.)
  2. If God wants to change the world through your dating life (and your future marriage), how should that impact the way you date? (See pages 153-156 in the book.)
  3. How can you seek to serve everyone you date in a healthy way? (See pages 156-159 in the book or look up John 13:1-17.)
  4. How can you date like you’re never alone? (See pages 159-163 in the book.)

Chapter 14: How to Know If You Are Right for Each Other

  1. How can infatuation keep you from truly getting to know someone? (See pages 166-170 in the book.)
  2. What is the opportunity cost of engaging in physical intimacy in your dating life? (See pages 172-173 in the book.)
  3. How can remembering God’s faithfulness impact your dating life? (See pages 177-179 in the book or look up Deut 6:10-13.)

Video Resources:

Watch these videos from for more perspective on dating with intentionality and an investment mindset.

  1. Date Like You Mean It
  2. Dating. What’s Intentionality Got to Do with It?
  3. A Date is a Terrible Thing to Waste
  4. Drop the Mask and Date

Here are all of them together in our LoveEd playlist, Purpose Driven Dating.

Then for an overview of all 10 of the fresh perspectives on dating to change your relationship life, watch our LoveEd series, Dating 101.