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Discussion Questions:

Chapter 18: Define the Person Before You Define the Relationship

  1. Which of the questions about reputation stand out to you and why? (See pages 219-220.)
  2. How does your online image differ from real life? Why?
  3. What’s wrong with wanting to be someone’s source of life transformation?
  4. Which of the questions about character stood out to you and why? (See pages 225-226.)
  5. Which of the dangers of focusing on common interests stood out to you and why? (See page 228.)
  6. What’s the difference between trying to make a relationship work and seeking to find out if it can work?
  7. Share an interest that is more identity-defining and share one you would be willing to give up for the right person.

Chapter 19: Why You Don’t Have Time to Make Out on a Date

  1. What did you see in the differing dating patterns of the frisky kittens and the conscientious cats? (See pages 223-235.)
  2. Why is it important to discern which of your values are actually convictions?
  3. Write out a list of your core convictions you know you should never compromise for any relationship.
  4. How could you hold yourself accountable to holding to your convictions?
  5. Which compatibilities strike you as particularly important? Which strike you as unimportant? (See page 241.)
  6. How will the obsession with sexual compatibility sabotage your fight for sexual purity?

Chapter 20: Calling, Chemistry, and Commitment

  1. How can you tell if you’re pursuing God’s call on your life, or just your own dreams?
  2. Why can it be so tempting to worship chemistry when it comes to relationships?
  3. How should the reality that chemistry can connect you but cannot keep you impact the way you date?
  4. Why doesn’t cohabitation act as an effective method of discerning whether a couple should marry?

Video Resources:

We haven’t yet made any videos summarizing the ten DTP talks, but watch this video from our LoveEd series, Purpose Driven Dating, for three date hacks to empower you to date without drowning in doubt.


Want some help in dating successfully? Make sure you aren’t the victim of any of the Love Assassins in this LoveEd playlist. A Love Assassin is a mindset that will stunt your social life and sabotage your ability to thrive in long-term, sacrificial relationships. Do you hold any of these mindsets? Like a trained assassin they’ll take out your dating life without you knowing what hit you!