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Marriage Log: Day 7,705 (December 18, 2014)

2014 rock stars-crop

What do Christmas, adoption, new carpet, marriage and sex all have in common?

They’re all worth the wait.


Now that I’m in my 40s, Christmas seems to come around every few days or so.

Not so when I was four. Back then every day in December seemed to last an eternity.

Still, what was true then is true now. Christmas is worth the wait. Indeed the waiting is a large part of what makes Christmas so special.


Back in December of 2007, we had already been waiting three years to adopt a child (or children) through the State foster care system. Then after two little boys moved in, we still had to wait two more years before they became ours.

This past Monday, December 15, 2014, we celebrated five years since the finalization of our adoption. (We took the rock star picture featured above on that day. You’ll spot the courthouse where the papers were signed in the background.)

And yet we still wait, for time, grace and forgiveness to erase the pain of the struggle and confusion of the years we spent praying and wrestling for the freedom of our youngest boys, caught in a broken foster care system.

But I believe someday, all this waiting will prove worth it. As those boys walk into their calling, becoming men of God, through whom He accomplishes great and mighty things.

New Carpet

This December, we waited on something less significant.

We were supposed to have new carpet installed two months ago, back in October. That’s when we ripped up all of our old carpet and padding, removed all wall hangings, and moved about a third of the contents of our bedrooms into the garage. So basically our home was a construction zone for two months.

Until this past Friday when the carpet was laid at long last.

Was this a huge deal? No. It didn’t compare to the agony of waiting for our adoption to come through.

I’m sure it doesn’t compare to the struggle of your wait.

But here’s what has caught me by surprise. Though we’ve now had our new carpet for almost a week now, I’m still geeking out about it. Seriously happy. Over carpet.

Each time I head up the stairs I’m delightfully surprised when my feet touch down on what seems like a staircase of clouds, instead of raw 2×12 boards. Every time I get out of bed at night and my bare feet touch the soft pile of cushiony carpety goodness instead of bare plywood, I thank God again.

If waiting two months for carpet could produce such pleasure, perhaps waiting for the right relationship, or marriage, or sex might be worth years of waiting.

Why Wait?

There’s just something about waiting, about going without, about experiencing need, or at least desire. Over. Time.

When the hope of your wait is finally fulfilled, it makes you appreciate it all the more. I dare say…

I think you’re missing something, if you’ve never felt like you were missing something.

(Did that make any sense at all?)

Think about it. It’s not like the God who spoke the world into existence couldn’t just snap his fingers and produce whatever you’re looking for.

But then we miss the joy of looking to the heavens for answers; the delight of discovering a new star of hope; of purpose. We never know the excitement of preparing for and launching off on a journey.

Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.” – Matthew 2:1-2

If God just delivered everything we wanted Amazon Prime, we would lose the wisdom gained from running into opposition, fighting temptation, and trusting God in the times when clouds conceal our guiding light. Leaving us stumbling around, consulting with fools and fakers.

When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him. Matthew 2:3

Sometimes, it’s only the darkness of our circumstances that finally drive us to the light of God’s word.

And assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. They told him, “In Bethlehem of Judea, for so it is written by the prophet... Matthew 2:4-5

And in the end, if we never had to wait, while we sought and fought and worked and longed, could the joy be as great?

 When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy.Matthew 2:10

Did you catch that?

The wise men rejoiced when they saw the star again. They hadn’t even yet found the child, but they knew by faith that the moment was at hand.

And, indeed it finally was.

And going into the house they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh.Matthew 2:11

You waiting for something?

A date?

A relationship?


The thing you’ve been wanting to do after you get married?

Something else entirely?

I hope you can trust it will be worth the wait.

(For MORE encouragement in waiting, I encourage you to read this post.)

DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

Dug this weekend’s DNA? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.

The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE you fall in love!

It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.

Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.

Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!