Got commitment issues? Perhaps even a flaming fear of commitment?
Then before you ever commit to a dating relationship, you first need to make a commitment to the key life discipline we introduce in the LoveEd video above.
The Key Role of Commitment
Regardless of the role chemistry plays in your relationship with your future spouse—and it must play some role—you want to make sure the person you’re dating possesses the key characteristic necessary to maintain a life-giving, lifelong marriage. And that would be commitment.
Commitment—not chemistry—is what holds any relationship together.
A band that lacks commitment eventually breaks up, no matter how undeniable their chemistry on stage. A team that lacks commitment eventually falls apart, no matter how effective their chemistry on the field. And a couple that lacks commitment eventually calls it quits, no matter how adorable their chemistry when they’re together.
Afraid of Commitment?
If you haven’t heard it from someone dating in real life, you’ve heard it in the movies: “I’m afraid of commitment.”
It’s the perfect explanation for someone who’s wanting to back out of a developing relationship. They pull the “commitment” card.
It’s supposed to be a kind way to communicate, “It’s not you. It’s me.” In truth, it’s either cowardly or childish. Or both.
If it is just an excuse, as it usually is, then be honest and share the real reason you don’t feel comfortable moving forward in the relationship. If you don’t know the real reason, then seek wise counsel from someone who knows and loves you well and knows and loves God well. However…
If you truly are afraid of commitment in general, you have no business dating.
Because, as we’ve already said, commitment is what holds any healthy relationship together. Further, a committed relationship is precisely what any two healthy daters are hoping for.
It’s no crime not to be interested in a committed dating relationship or even to be afraid of it. Perhaps you ought to be afraid of a committed dating relationship right now. Not that you aren’t worthy of one but that you’re just not ready yet.
And if you’re realizing this is true while you’re already in a dating relationship, then come clean. Don’t just say, “I’m afraid of commitment,” or even, “I’m not ready for a serious dating relationship right now,” but admit, “I was wrong to even start this dating relationship. I’m sorry for the hurt this may cause you. You deserve a person who’s ready to move forward, and that person is not me.”
Things like that are hard to say, but a true confession will go a long way toward righting your wrong and giving the other person the closure they need to move forward without you.
[Would you like more guidance? The above post is an excerpt right from Date Like You Know What You’re Doing: Your DatePrep Guide. I wrote it to empower YOU to grow spiritually and date wisely so you can marry well. Check out the book and video curriculum here!]
