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[updated: 8/9/19]

Dear College Bound,

I LOVED my college experience!

Especially dating.

Usually.

Except for when my heart was getting broken into a billion pieces by some angelic-looking creature who did not return my awe and affection.

But what if I could help you enjoy college just as much as I did, minus a lot of the relational drama?

Interested?

Then, please read on! This is your post!

I remember leaving for college! I was stoked! (“Stoked” is what you were in 1989 when you were really excited about something.)

I could hardly wait for this new adventure to begin!

That might have had something to do with the fact that when I showed up for freshman orientation earlier that Summer, I met about a dozen amazingly beautiful chicas who loved Christ.

In other words, there were gorgeous, Godly girls everywhere.

And when I moved into my dorm, on the campus of Baylor University, I was determined to make one of those lovely ladies mine. (My precious!) As quickly as possible, by the way. (Because love is patient, but I had goals.)

By the end of Welcome Week I had already identified a real potential. She was beautiful and funny. And thought I was funny.

Even better? She loved Jesus. For realz. (Oh, and I think her IQ was something near genius level, but I wasn’t too concerned about that.)

After getting to know her a little (and flirting a lot), I got up the courage to ask her to homecoming.

I actually rapped my request. In the food court of our Student Union Building.

In front of most of our friends.

And she said, “Yes!”

Actually, she was one of over thirty girls that said, “Yes,” to a date invite from me my Freshman year.

You see, about the same time I started detecting cold feet from my homecoming date (who was probably using that high IQ of hers to discern how needy I was) I realized the favorable gender ratio was in my favor on an unprecedented level. This meant, I could either continue to try and turn this one girl into my girlfriend, or I could choose to take a different lovely lady out each weekend.

Under the circumstances, going out with a bunch of different girls seemed less risky. It certainly required far less personal vulnerability on my part, since you can’t disclose too much or fall too deeply for someone on the first date.

Why am I telling you all of this?

Because when I look back on my college years and realize the way I was going about relationships was not quite right. I did a lot of things well, but I also did a lot of things wrong. And the wrong things made my dating life far more painful than it ever had to be.

And that’s where you come in, College Bound. I want to see you leave home for your future alma mater with confidence!

Sure, I hope you learn lots and get the degree you’re paying for (or your parent’s are paying for), but I want you to arrive on campus ready to build great relationships with roommates, club friends, classmates, church friends, teachers, and, perhaps, eventually a girl or boyfriend. And then…


I want you to leave college with life-giving relationships that last a lifetime.


Maybe even leave with a best friend who becomes your spouse. (That wound up being my story… by God’s infinite grace.)

Would you like that?

Then here’s your link to relational joy and wonder. Click it and begin preparing for relational success when it counts: before you fall in love.

Don’t wait! Key posts from the Future Marriage University (FMU) archives await you on this one page dedicated to speaking directly to college bound students like you! And while you’re at it, forward this post to a fellow college-bound student.

And for more of the story of my wife and me, check out this LoveEd episode from our FMUniversity YouTube channel.





DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

Dug this weekend’s DNA? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.

The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE you fall in love!

It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.

Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.

Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!

[originally published: August 10, 2017]