Skip to main content

Register for RELATION^OLOGY in-person high school or young adult classes. Save 30% NOW!

“The intention of the First Amendment was to defend the right of every American to speak his mind. Not to look at pictures of naked women.”

So wrote one of the respondents to a survey gauging public perception of Playboy publisher, Hugh Hefner, conducted by the Northern Department of Understanding Humanity (NODUH).

The conclusion of the research: the vast majority of Americans considered Hugh Hefner primarily a purveyor of pornography.

But in the wake of Hefner’s death, Dr Getreal, Professor of Revisionist History, at Porn State University, is out to change that perception.

“Hugh Hefner was nothing less than the single most fervent defender of free expression in our modern times. And his publication was just the sort of literature our founding fathers were so passionate about protecting when they drafted the First Agenda,” asserted Dr Getreal.

“Of course the Bill of Goods was concerned with political speech, religious expression and all that stuff,” concedes Dr Getreal. “But at that time, most Americans believed they were ‘made’ in the image of a ‘spirit god.’ So their sense of worth came from a so-called ‘creator.’ This naturally made spirituality and religion the most important means of expression in that day.”

Dr Getreal continued enthusiastically, “but Dolly Madison anticipated the society we live in today! An era Hugh Hefner helped usher in! Where we have finally rejected those primitive ideas and come to view sexual identity as the ultimate identity, the part of ourselves where we discover the deepest meaning and greatest worth.”

His conclusion? “Our sexuality is not a mere means of expression, but the ultimate expression! In fact, if there’s any expression the bill of rights never set out to preserve in the end, it would be freedom of religion!”

Dr Getreal’s latest book, My Logic is Undeniable: The Triumph of Revolution from the French to the Sexual, is required reading in most colleges and universities.

The Relational Reporter: unreal stories. real truth. really funny.

Dug this article? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.

Let’s Get Real about Sex!

Sadly, Hugh Hefner isn’t the only one who has promoted sexuality as the ultimate sense of meaning and identity. Take our LoveEd review on YouTube (embedded immediately below) of an article where sex is claimed to be the most important part of a serious relationship.

Then be sure to check out the Date Night Advice posts below the video which address misinformation on this blessed gift of God, promoted both in the world and even in the church.

The Five Sex Lies

“They tell you sex has become a mess because it was hushed up. But for the last twenty years it has not been hushed up. It has been chattered about all day long. Yet it is still in a mess.

If hushing up had been the cause of the trouble, ventilation would have set it right. But it has not.

I think it is the other way round. I think the human race originally hushed it up because it had become such a mess.”

Who said that?

Do you know?

Perhaps a more surprising question is “when?”

Would you believe someone living over 65 years ago?!

C.S. Lewis includes this observation in his complete treaties on sexual morality in Mere Christianity, but not even Lewis could have grasped how prophetic his words would become.

In the hopes of bringing a little more clarity to this emotionally charged topic I present The Five Sex Lies. [Read More]


Is it Better to Marry than to Burn?

Do you know a Christian couple struggling to reign in their sexual passions? Should they just go ahead and get married?

The Apostle Paul seems to say as much, as he writes in 1 Cor 7:9, “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

But hold up! Is this what Paul meant? “You two kids sexually on fire? Just get married! BOOM! Problem solved!!”

I see this passage used this way all the time. In fact, just this month someone referenced this verse in a comment on our facebook page to justify eloping. (Como say what?!)

But the fact of the matter is this: Paul’s words were not originally addressing the question, “Should a couple struggling to reign in their sexual passions just go ahead and get married?” [Read More]

Want to go beyond what a blog post can accomplish? The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE!

It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.

Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better?  And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!