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A class action suit brought by the organization, We Want to Punch ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ Right in the Kisser (WWTPIKDGRITK ) has finally resulted in the first step of what many hope will spell justice for everyone who ever read Joshua Harris’ book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye or it’s follow-up, Boy Meets Girl.

Harris has been charged with multiple counts of:

  • Romanticide
  • Harassment (of people caught dating without a chaperone or a written temptation escape plan)
  • Disorderly Courtship
  • Disturbing the Peace (of those who enjoyed making out in the baptismal, with or without water)
  • First & Second Degree Loneliness
  • Conspiracy to ruin lives

Harris gained notoriety in the late 90s when his early books dared challenge the dating status quo in the church. Though Harris purports his intent was merely to incorporate Biblical principles (like sexual purity and community involvement) into a “courtship” approach to romantic relationships, an official WWTPIKDGRITK statement contends many readers followed Harris’ advice believing God would reward them with a storybook romance that would rival anything Disney could dream up. Though Harris never made such guarantees.

Indeed, the accusations of all the heresy Harris taught through his books, without actually teaching them in his books is legion. It might also border on hearsay.

“He may have never come out and said, ‘avoid all members of the opposite gender at all cost, unless they are a blood relative,’ but the reality is, that’s what many readers wound up doing,” asserted the statement, though Harris actually encouraged readers to pursue marriage with members of the opposite gender, outside of their own family.

“Harris doesn’t say in so many words, ‘sexual sin makes you unlovable,’ but regardless, that is another one of the misguided messages a multitude of readers read between the lines,” continued the statement, even though Harris devoted numerous actual lines in his books to describing how God’s grace empowered him to deal with his own sexual sin.

Ultimately the WWTPIKDGRITK argument alleges that if Harris had never written his books, the misinterpretations could never have been inferred, concluding, “At the very least, Joshua Harris is a terrible writer, because let’s face it, if his books were more clear – like the Bible or the US Constitution, for instance – people wouldn’t be able to walk away with such twisted ideas. He deserves to spend many lonely days behind bars for all the loneliness he’s brought to those who obeyed his siren call to kiss dating goodbye!”

The Relational Reporter: unreal stories. real truth. really funny.

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Kissing and Courtship and Risk, Oh My!

Get our perspective on the dating/courtship debate that began with Joshua Harris’ notorious writing, in this LoveEd episode on our FMUniversity YouTube channel! If you like it, you can check out the entire Purpose Driven Dating series.

And for more encouragement to date (or court) wisely even if a storybook romance is promised you for doing so read one of the posts below.

Date with Your Brain (Dating 101)

With a title like this one, I want to begin this post with an important clarification: I love romance!

Yes. I am a man.

A man who loves a great love story; one where the guy finds just the right girl; a girl who seems as custom-made for him as he for her. A love story where even the way the two come together as one seems too impossibly amazing to be true.

This is the kind of love story I share with Julie, my wife and best friend of 22+ years. A story where we didn’t exactly fall in love as much as we grew in love. And it’s just the kind of love story I wish for you.

Except totally different.

Only a God who is at once perfectly loving, infinitely wise and eternally sovereign has the creative capacity to write a distinctive love story for each of His children, one which still allows us to make our own choices and even mistakes without ruffling a single one of His feathers.

However… [Read More]


Date Smart! Don’t…

According to Selling the Invisible, the marketing book by Harry Beckwith, we humanoids generally make decisions emotionally and then defend them rationally. In other words, we act with our heart and then try to explain what we did with our brain. It’s like we’re trying to convince ourselves our brain was really in charge all along.

Beckwith may have been talking about consumer purchase decisions (and he was), but I see this ugly reality all the time when it comes to disastrous relational decisions. Especially when it comes to dating! [Read More]



Want to go beyond what a blog post can accomplish? The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE!

It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.

Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better?  And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!