The most popular dating question in the church “How far is too far?” raises another question that needs to be answered first. And that’s just what we do in the LoveEd video above.
But if you want fresh perspective on how to keep from going too far, you’ll love this analogy we pull right from our book, Date Like You Know What You’re Doing: Your DatePrep Guide:
Body Odor & Sexual Sin
Imagine you had a significant issue with body odor. An issue so serious you applied copious amounts of antiperspirant before every date. With a spatula. And even that was futile.
If this was your reality (play along with me here), do you think you would engage in frequent, strenuous physical activities on dates guaranteed to get you perspiring? Or would you enjoy one-on-one time with your date in the heat of day inside a parked car with the AC off?
Why would you do such things if you know you’ll end up sweating like a pig as you secrete a stench strong enough to repel a rabid skunk?
Wouldn’t you want to keep your body temperature and heart rate low, if not out of self-respect, then out of honor for your date, who would be forced to tolerate your natural scent of death? Of course you would! Yet two…
Sincere Christians, who know sexual temptation is a reality, will nevertheless frequently engage in sexually arousing activities that get their body temperature rising and heart racing.
- They’ll watch entertainment featuring gratuitous sexual situations and dialogue that mocks sexual purity.
- They’ll dress in such a way as to say, “Dinner is served!”
- They’ll flirt with each other using sexual inuendo.
- They’ll engage in a kiss-fest that gets at least one of their sexual engines running in the red.
- They’ll enjoy one-on-one time with their date in the heat of the night, inside a parked car with no one around.
And some will even do all of the above, date after date, and feel a certain pride about “not going too far,” even boasting about holding onto their virginity card.
Then, if and when they do fall into sexual sin, they’ll be more or less shocked, saying things like, “it just happened,” or “we just fell into it,” or “we just lost control.” The word “just” serving to communicate that there were no preceding events or behaviors that could have predicted the sin that followed.
So, if you are committed to saving sex for the covenant relationship of marriage, refuse to engage in sexually arousing activities that get your engine running in overdrive. Save all that for the marriage bed too. All of it.
Staying Sexually Pure Requires Logic. Not Legalism!
I’m not saying that since you shouldn’t have sex then you shouldn’t make out, and if you shouldn’t make out then you shouldn’t touch, and if you shouldn’t touch then you shouldn’t even look at your date.
I’m not saying any of that!
If wrestling on a sofa together lip-locked for thirty minutes leaves neither of you turned on sexually, then, congratulations, you haven’t sinned! But if the reality is that your dating practices necessitate a cool down or release afterward, you are flirting with danger. Because…
If you want to avoid a certain sin, you need to avoid moving toward that sin.
This isn’t legalism. This is logic. The writer of Proverbs 7 makes the case:
For at the window of my house I have looked out through my lattice, and I have seen among the simple, I have perceived among the youths, a young man lacking sense, passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house in the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness. And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart. —Proverbs 7:6-10 ESV
The principle here? If you move toward sin, expect sin to meet you.
And notice the writer says, “I have perceived … a young man lacking sense.” He doesn’t say, “I have perceived a young man lacking righteousness or holiness or goodness or godliness.”
He doesn’t make a moral judgment. He makes a rational judgment. “I saw this dude heading toward sin, like he didn’t know where it would lead him! Crazy, right?”
[Again, the above post is an excerpt right from Date Like You Know What You’re Doing: Your DatePrep Guide. I wrote it to empower YOU to win the war over sexual temptation, which is necessary if you want to grow spiritually and date wisely so you can marry well. Check out the book and video curriculum here!]
