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Though this blog is entitled Date Night Advice (DNA) we talk about sex as much as we do dating here, and after doing so for over a decade we thought it high time to share with you our core beliefs about sex.

Beliefs are powerful things. They define us, guide us, and shape us. Our beliefs determine how we interpret our past, what choices we make in the present, and who we want to be in the future.

In his book, The Knowledge of the Holy, A.W. Tozer, is famously quoted as saying, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. … Worship is pure or base as the worshiper entertains high or low thoughts of God.”

What does that quote have to do with sex? Well…

Wouldn’t you agree that sex is one of the most worshiped “gods” of our age?

Sex has become the thing most talked about, most promoted, most desired, and most revered. Indeed, our sexuality has not merely become a part of our identity, but our core identity around which we orient how we view our own self worth and even reality itself.

So in light of Tozer’s quote consider this thought:

After God, what comes into our minds when we think about sex is one of the next most important things about us. Sexuality is pure or base as the sexual being entertains high or low thoughts of sex.

Would you like to master your baser sexual desires and thrive in sexual purity? Then you must entertain “high thoughts” of human sexuality. We share what we believe about sex in this post hoping to empower you to do just that.

If you disagree with one or more of our beliefs, I urge you to look ultimately to God’s word and not us. And on that note, here are five commitments which guided me in drafting all of our core beliefs.

My Commitments to God’s Word

  1. I will stand on the truth of God’s word as best I understand it, even when I don’t understand it. For how else can anyone stand on any truth at all?
  2. I will establish my understanding of God’s word on the study of the plain written text read in context.
  3. I will allow 2,000 years of church teaching to inform my limited perspective on confusing texts.
  4. I will place my confidence not in my own understanding, but in the understanding of God’s Spirit which reveals His word to His church, both to the writers as well as the readers.
  5. We will look to God’s word as the inerrant, trustworthy, sufficient, and authoritative instruction for discerning God’s will in all matters, including endeavors not specifically addressed in scripture (like dating, internet pornography, sex reassignment surgery, or gender dysphoria).

Are we on the same page? Because if we can agree on what is true about the Bible, we have a higher chance of agreeing on what is true about sex. After all…

It is only in agreement on God’s word that the church has ever agreed about anything.

And so now without further adieu, here is what we believe about sex.

Our Core Beliefs about Sex

  1. We believe we are embodied souls, made in the image of a God who is spirit, making our identity as physical/sexual beings subordinate to our spiritual identity. (Gen 1:26-27, Psalm 100:3, John 4:23-24, 2 Cor 3:17, Zech 12:1, Is 26:9, Gal 5:16-17)
  2. We believe sex is a holy gift created by God, blessed by God, and commanded by God to embody, nurture, and celebrate the sacred oneness of the marital union, and if God allows, to create fellow image-bearers. (Gen 1:28, Gen 2:23-25, Prov 5:15-18Mal 2:15, Matt 19:4-6, Mark 10:7-9)
  3. Therefore, we believe everyone – both married and unmarried – are commanded to reserve sexual expression for marriage alone, as honored in scripture as a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman. (Heb 13:4Gen 2:23-25, Matt 19:4-6, Mark 10:7-9, Lev 18:6-23 Rom 1:16-28, 1 Cor 6:9-11, 1 Tim 1:8-11)
  4. However, we believe, due to sin, no one’s natural sexual desires should be trusted outside of God’s will. (Jer 17:9, Romans 8:5-8)
  5. Further, we believe, if never confessed and repented of, sin leads to death, including sexual sin. (1 Thes 4:3-8, Col 3:1-6)
  6. However, we believe we should never condemn anyone for their sexual past, especially when so many have been deceived and even victimized in our hyper-sexualized culture. (John 8:3-11, Rom 5:11-21, Rom 8:1-4)
  7. Therefore, we believe we should promote, pursue and protect sexual purity, with fervent zeal for the wholeness of the individual, the holiness of the church, and the health of society. (1 Cor 6:18-20, 1 Pet 1:14-16, Rom 13:12-14, 1 Cor 5, 1 Cor 10:6-8, Matt 5:13-16)
  8. We believe this is why God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to redeem every part of our lives, granting us the power and authority to overcome our sexual past and master our sexual desires. (Rom 3:31, Rom 6:1-23, 1 Cor 6:9-12, 2 Pet 1:2-9)
  9. Finally, we believe enjoying sex inside marriage brings as much honor and pleasure to our Creator as abstaining from sex outside of marriage. (Song of Solomon, Prov 5:18-21, Matt 1:24-25, 1 Cor 7:1-5)

Well there you have it. That’s what we believe about sex.

However, we have so much to say on the subject we have a Hot Topic resource page highlighting key posts and videos on understanding sex and another one doing the same for pursuing sexual purity. Not to mention a Hot Topic resource page dedicated to fighting for freedom from porn.

For more on what the Bible says about sex, check out the LoveEd series, Premarital Sex & the Scriptures, on our FMUniversity YouTube channel.

You can also check out the Nashville Statement drafted by the CBMW and the ERLC. We’ve signed onto that statement. We don’t have a statement for you sign, but If you want to join us as we empower students and young adults to grow spiritually and date wisely, so they can marry well, consider a tax-deductible donation to FMU!

DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

Dug this weekend’s DNA? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.

The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE you fall in love!

It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.

Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.

Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!