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I’ve invested much soul-searching this year, honing the foundational beliefs behind everything we teach at Future Marriage University (FMU), and in this post I wanted to share what we believe about dating.

One might ask, “But why? What’s the big deal with dating?”

Well part of that answer begins with FMU’s middle name: marriage. Because we believe in marriage – quite a bit. And for better or worse, in today’s culture, dating is the process by which one identifies a marriage partner.

However, as I shared in a past Date Night Advice (DNA) post, “The Lost Art of Dating,” “As our culture became more narcissistic, dating became more and more about fun than the future; more about the pleasures of adolescence than the progression toward adulthood.”

Have you not seen that?

This is why we cast a vision for dating that is at once inspiring and yet realistic. In fact, we’ve cast ten fresh perspectives on dating to change your relationship life in our Dating 101 series, which you can check out in our DNA blog or watch on our FMUniversity YouTube channel.

Further, believe it or don’t, the Dating 101 series is just one part of our LoveEd curriculum, Date Like You Know What You’re Doing. And that’s not even talking about our other LoveEd YouTube series that focus on dating issues:

And don’t forget we’ve been talking about dating in our DNA blog for over a decade!

That said, for the first time ever we want to share with you the core beliefs which underpin all our teaching about dating. We hope they both inspire and challenge you.

We also hope you’ll read and respond with thoughts and questions. We value your feedback!

Our Core Beliefs about Dating

  1. We believe God’s will in dating is discerned the same way His will is discerned in every area of life, not by following our feelings, but by searching His word, seeking Him in prayer, and submitting to the wise counsel of mature believers. (Jer 17:9, 2 Tim 3:14-17, Jeremiah 29:11-13Prov 11:14, Luke 14:31-32)
  2. We believe the goal of dating should be marriage, not merely enjoying romantic attachment, because, though celebrated in God’s word, romantic love is only encouraged in the pursuit of marriage. (Song of Songs 2:7, 3:5, 8:4)
  3. Therefore, we believe Christ-followers should only date Christ-followers, because both the Old and New Testament forbid those who follow God from marrying those who do not. (1 Kings 11:1-10, Nehemiah 13:23-27, 2 Cor 6:14-18)
  4. We believe the purpose of dating is simply getting to know each person you date well enough to determine whether a particular relationship should lead to marriage, a process requiring a considerable investment of time, because true love is first and foremost patient and vows should never be spoken rashly. (Proverbs 20:25, Ecclesiastes 5:1-7, 1 Cor 13:4)
  5. Therefore, we believe one should first grow in both the understanding of what marriage demands and the maturity necessary to meet those demands before dating, because the demands of marriage are great and the covenant of marriage for life. (Matthew 19:6-8, Mark 10:4-9, Luke 14:28-30, 1 Corinthians 7:28, 32-35)

So what are your thoughts?

  • Which of these statements resonate with you? Which don’t?
  • Which cause you to think more intentionally about dating?
  • What would you add? What would you change?

And if you’re inspired by our core beliefs which guide our mission to empower students and young adults to grow spiritually and date wisely so they can marry well, consider clicking the donate button below. We’d love to have you join us in changing the mind of the culture about the Biblical meaning, purpose, and significance of marriage!

DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

Dug this weekend’s DNA? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.

The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE you fall in love!

It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.

Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.

Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!