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If you’re going to date in a healthy and whole way, you have to date in the reality that you are not alone. That’s why belonging, while it may be one of the most popular motivations for dating, is also one of the most dangerous.

Posts Written for the Lonely


You are not alone.

But do you feel that way?

Or do you feel alone?

Or are you actually alone?

I pray one of these posts below will read like it was written just for you.

Because maybe it was.

Are you Lonely? Read this before it’s too Late!


Here’s a portion of this post:

When we come to it, all of us truly are alone.

Alone with our thoughts.

Alone with our fears.

Alone with the longings we can’t quite understand ourselves, much less put into words.

No one truly knows your deepest heartaches. No one understands the temptations you can’t seem to resist.

No one gets you like you’ve always wanted to be “gotten.” No one except the Creator who breathed life into your soul and holds it as dear as the Son He delivered up for your redemption. [read the rest of the post here]

She Loves Me. She Loves Me Not. (Belonging Part 1)


Here’s a portion of this post:

I used to think, “If I had a girlfriend, it wouldn’t matter how bad or hectic or confusing my life was, because I’d know that someone loved me.”

And I didn’t just think that back in third grade, or even in middle school, when perhaps it might have been forgivable. I still had that Disney script running through my head in college. I might hold that silly notion today if, I hadn’t finally won my first girlfriend the second semester of my junior year in college.

It was then I discovered at last, that in spite of “knowing that someone loved me,” it still mattered when life went wrong. I still experienced disappointment and frustration. And worse? Sometimes it was her fault! [read the rest of the post here]

LOVE is NOT Something You Find (Love Part 1)


Here’s a portion of this post:

If you’re dating to find love you’re going to get hurt. Over and over again.

Because it’s a cold world out there where lonely hearts are preyed upon by scam artists with no intention of giving anyone anything of worth; much less love. They just want to get: get a free meal or a self-image makeover, get your attention or your money, or get in your pants and get you in bed.

Still others have no evil intentions. In fact, they’re just as desperate to find love as those they date. Two people looking for love which neither of them have, like two beggars trying to bum change off each other.

I’m not trying to be over dramatic. I’m not even trying to protect you from hurt. However, I would love to see you spared senseless hurt. [read the rest of the post here]

How not to Wind up a 40-year-old Virgin (or a 40-year old who has had lots of sex, but is still desperately lonely)


Here’s a portion from this post:

After this girl “fixed” my friend from ever having to bear the ignominious title of “virgin” ever again, she promptly broke up with him.

“‘I just had sex with you so you could get over me.’
That’s what she told him afterwards.

My friend assured me that he didn’t get over it for many, many years. To the contrary. It haunted him.

So there you have it, I just explained how not to wind up a 40-year-old virgin. Simple huh?

Here, let me just summarize:

#1: Find someone who’s experienced and willing to have sex with you.
#2: If necessary, simply lower your standards, to find such a person.
#3: Have sex!

Yea, sexual freedom!

Yea, hook-up culture!

Yea, freedom from virginity!!

Are you still reading?

What for?

Oh yeah. There was a subtitle to this post. Something about how not to wind up a 40-year old who has had lots of sex, but is still desperately lonely. [read the rest of the post here]

Date like You’re Never Alone (Dating 101)


Here’s a portion from this post:

The deepest yearning of our hearts is not for romance, or sex or a spouse. It is simply for intimacy. As 1 Cor 13 succinctly puts it: to know fully as we are fully known. And even with our soul being known in all of its ample imperfections and limitations, to be loved and accepted anyway.

So why was it wrong for me to look for that intimacy in the arms of my one true love? Because after finally “getting the girl,” I eventually discovered the truth: she’s not my one true love.

He is.

No. I’m not gay.

I’m talking about Jesus.

No, I’m not saying you should start dating Jesus.

I’m suggesting something far more essential (and right). [read the rest of the post here]