When you date?
Do you know why?
Most who date don’t.
And worse – those who do are oftentimes looking for the wrong things.
So which are you?
- One of those just hoping to find some vague thing of value on your next date (or hoping to somehow establish your own value)?
- One of those with your eye on the prize – whether that prize be hooking up or getting hitched (or something else entirely)?
In Sacred Search, the latest book by Gary Thomas he poses the question, “What if it’s not about who you marry, but why?”It’s that same “WHY” question that I’m wanting you to consider in regards to dating right now, because my heart grows heavy as I imagine the number of single adults, long out of college, who have only come to the conclusion that they want to be married after a history of relationship regret. And then they pick up Gary’s book.
By God’s grace they’ll finally be prompted to figure out what they’re looking for in marriage, but they’ll never recover the lost years of wandering in the woods of modern dating. Years when they could have been pursuing relationships with wisdom, grace and purpose.
Maybe I’m talking about you. If so, I encourage you to read Sacred Search. (I’m getting no incentive for this promotion.) It will always be too late to change the past, but it’s never to late to change your future.
Whether you think you might be interested in marriage or not, over the next few weeks in Date Night Advice, I’d like to reframe Thomas’ question.
“What if it’s not about who you DATE, but why?”
The “why” question is the most important question you can answer about any endeavor. The more significant the endeavor the more important the motivation.
Of course, people who know what they’re looking for have a way better chance of identifying it when they see it. And where could it be more critical to know what you’re looking for than in relationships – particularly dating relationships.
Want to figure out what you’re looking for? Join me for the next few weeks.
To put you at ease, I’m not going to try lay down a narrow definition of why I think you should be dating. That’s not nearly as fun as presenting several reasons you should NOT be dating. And I’ll do that in a blog series named after one of my most well-received presentations: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date. Some of the TOP10 will be obvious to most, but still many succumb. Other reasons may at first blush seem legit, but perhaps you’ll see them in a different light when we have a second blush – ah look.
DNA: It’s What’s For Dating
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The LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE! It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. Check out the first two 8-lesson study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better? And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!