Are you tired of your love-hate so-called relationship with porn?
You know, the one where you love porn, but have finally discovered it feels nothing for you whatsoever. Which then kinda makes you hate porn. And yourself.
If you’re not quite there yet, I encourage you to read this post: Why Porn and I are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together.
However, if you’re already with me in your sense of fascination and disgust, and you would like to join me in freedom from porn, then this is YOUR POST! Because I’m going to share six steps to kicking porn where the sun don’t shine.
#1: Recognize the lies that porn is telling you (and you are believing).
I once thought what drew me to porn again and again was perfectly obvious. Men like naked women; and the hotter the better. What else is there to discuss?
But what draws you toward porn is far more complicated than that. If it weren’t so, far fewer people would be foolish enough to risk their career, family and reputation for just one more look.
Here’s the deal: porn is feeding you crap that your mind thinks is chocolate pie, until the psychological indigestion kicks in, at which point you are forced to return, again, to the toilet of shame. So to end this cycle, you need to figure out how to cut through that crap to see the truth instead of the naked image.
What lies are you believing? Begin your journey of discover with this post: What Does the Porn Say?
#2: Confess your porn to God. COMPLETELY!
So many times we just want God to help us with our problems. But Christ didn’t die to help us with our problems, He died to save us from our sin.
Because of Christ’s sacrifice, forgiveness has already been extended to you. The question is, “Have you received that forgiveness?”
If you can’t bring yourself to confess what porn is and what it’s become for you; if you can’t recognize both it’s impact on your life and your powerlessness to resist it; then you are not living by the basic truths in which your freedom may be found.
Let this post, It’s OK. God Already Knows about the Porn, lead you through the process of a complete confession before the God who could never be shocked or even disappointed by any of your sin.
#3: Deal with the shame.
The shame I felt after each porn exposure was eclipsed only by the shame I felt whenever that exposure was exposed.
How do you deal with that shame? Find out in this post: Death by Porn.
#4: Tell Somebody
I know. This is the last thing you want to do.
I get it. I was there.
But I’m not there anymore. Indeed, I’ve been porn free since 2001. And one of the main reasons? I told people about my problem, and asked them to help me. Even today, I will confess temptations that arise from time to time. And believe it or don’t, this practice empowers me to hold onto freedom.
You might believe you’re stronger than I am, and that you can break free on your own. And you might be right.
Then again, perhaps my willingness to ask for help is why I’m free today and you are not.
Regardless, even if you’ve got some kind of personal resolve I lacked when I was struggling, it doesn’t change the fact that God commands us to confess our sins one to another and that no single believer is an island.
Quite the opposite, scripture describes us as both interdependent and indispensable members of one body. So let this post, Tell on Porn Before it Tells on You, inspire you to do just that.
#5: Discover the love you were made for!
God did not make you to spend your whole life running from porn or any other sin. He made you to run toward Him, even better: to be with Him!
This is why our hearts simply can’t be satisfied by the artificial love of a plasticized, digitally-enhanced lover. And why we long so deeply for the true love of a perfect, ever-present Lord. And so…
Leaving porn requires living for something else.
For a full picture of what that involves, look no further than this post: The Power to Face Your Porn Problem.
#6: Make necessary lifestyle changes.
Have you ever thought of porn as having become a part of your life?
If it wasn’t it wouldn’t be so insanely difficult to eradicate.
But it is, so it is.
And because it is, you will have to change the way you think and behave in order to finally say “No” to porn once and for all. You’ll find practical tips for doing just that in this post, Saying “No” to Porn.
Go and sin no more!
Hope this post is a great next step in freedom for you, but remember this: Porn isn’t a foe that’s going to be taken out by one simple roundhouse kick (or even three or four).
So to take that next step, PLEASE check out any of the above referenced posts. And consider discussing these questions with a trusted friend or two (or three):
- Which of the above steps scares you the most? Why? What seems so unsafe about it? What danger are you risking in not taking that step?
- Which of the above truths is hard for you to believe? Why is that? What beliefs have you held instead? Do you think they are truths or lies?
- How different would your life be without porn? What would be better? What would be worse?
- How do you think leaving porn forever would impact your relationships with your family, friends, the opposite sex, and your future spouse?
And just in case you didn’t know, if you don’t endeavor to kill this ruthless habit, porn is likely to keep you single! We share six elements of Porn Induced Singleness (PIS) in the LoveEd series, How Porn will Keep You Single, on our YouTube channel.
DNA: It’s What’s For Dating
Dug this weekend’s DNA? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.
The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE you fall in love!
It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.
Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.
Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!
[originally published: 3/19/15]
