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Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date
Dumb Reason #2: Sexual Intercourse

DNA-farmersWe began this series on sex with the cold, hard, ugly, unpopular Biblical truth about sex, but through the posts that followed I sought to unveil the loving, brilliant, beautiful, protective wisdom that both undergirds and flows from that truth.

To wrap things up, we return to scripture to discover what farmers can teach us about fornication. Specifically I want to talk about seed. After all, a farmer without any seed is just a guy in overalls standing in a field.

First, a farmer knows you can’t harvest what you don’t plant. No farmer sows tomatoes hoping to harvest potatoes. Potatoes and tomatoes may sound alike, but they don’t look anything alike, taste anything alike, nor deliver the same nutrients. And everything that makes a tomato a tomato and a potato a potato is found in the unique seed of each.

In short, the law of the harvest says: you reap what you sow.

Now, circumstances may frustrate the plans of the good farmer. He may sow faithfully, but wind up reaping nothing. Despite this possibility, no wise farmer throws caution to the wind, as he throws random seed on the ground just to see what comes up.

What kind of seed are you sowing in your dating and sex life? 

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. – Gal 6:7-8

Are you seeking porn or purity? You’ll reap what you sow. Are you keeping your dating life out in the open where temptation is easily kept at bay or are you going places alone and unaccountable? You’ll reap what you sow. Are you filling your mind with morally compromising messages or immersing it in God’s word and sound doctrine? You’ll reap what you sow.

Do you think the law of the harvest doesn’t apply to you?

The farmer would tell us it’s silly to think you can sow seeds of sexual immorality, but one day hope to reap a harvest of a meaningful, intimate, life-giving, life-long marriage.

Doesn’t God forgive? YES! ABSOLUTELY! But does God sweep into town like “the man in the yellow hat” and cancel all the consequences of our bad choices? Only if you’re Curious George.

In contrast, look what promise lays in store for the man and woman of faith who take God at His word and determine to do whatever it takes to sow good seed:

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. – Gal 6:9

But what happens if you sow the good seed – you do the dating thing right – but due to drought, flooding or an early frost, you never see the fruitful harvest you hoped for. What if you don’t get married. Or what if you do, but not to the supermodel you hoped for. Or what if they are, but you discover you can’t have children. Or what if you can, but one of them is severely disabled.

This brings us to the second thing that our friendly farmer has to share with us about seed.

“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”  – John 12:24

It was actually a carpenter named Jesus who said that. He said it about Himself, because He knew He was about to die (like a seed) so that in His death He might bring us to life.

Jesus died so that we might be blessed! But He’s thinking about blessings which dwarf romance and sex. He wants to use us to bless the world! For that to happen, we – like Christ – must die that He might live in us.

Can you believe that the harvest God has planned for your future will bring you a greater joy, a deeper peace, and a stronger hope than anything a storybook romance, picture-perfect wedding, wild sex life or happy home could ever deliver?

Will you let your desires for romance and sex die, so that God can produce the fruit in you He knows will bless your life and all who know you?

“Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.” – John 12:25

That wraps up this series on “sexual intercourse,” but if it’s been any help to you at all I’d love to hear from you. You might even benefit from going back and reading through the series again. And if you want to read more on the subject, I’m in the midst of sharing The Five Sex Lies over at FaithONCampus.

Next week, at long last, we finally reveal the #1 Dumbest Reason to Date.

DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

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The LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE! It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. Check out the first two 8-lesson study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better?  And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!


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