I mean like, single forever?
To be sure there are many forces in our culture today contributing to ceaseless singleness, but I don’t think the pandemic is one of them.
That is, unless you allow our current coronavirus scare to cause you to adopt some unhealthy dating habits.
Here are seven questions to ask yourself to determine whether a pandemic going to keep you single.
#1: Will you wear a mask at all times, even on video chats?
(And must it be a clown mask?)
Yes. You love kids, and kids love clowns. I get it.
But will your date get it? Or will they feel a little uncomfortable?
That said, even if you go with a standard surgical mask, consider limiting use to in-person dates. Covid may be airborne, but it is not digital. You can’t catch it online.
And, honestly, dating is best done without masks.
If you feel like you need to wear a “mask” to get the attention, interest, or acceptance of someone you like, you’re either going after the wrong person, or you’re simply not ready to date. You want to talk with a close friend or mentor who knows you best and loves you most to figure out which it is.
#2: Will you insist on a virus test before every date?
(Or worse, at the beginning of every date?)
A stick shoved up your nose into the nether reaches of your brain does not make for a positive ice-breaker.
But let me tell you what you really need to be testing on every date: your date’s character!
Usually, people are on their best behavior when they date, so if you’re seeing qualities which concern you, don’t overlook them! Discuss them with a wise friend or mentor.
And don’t be fooled! Just like covid-19, character flaws often take time to detect, so take your time dating!
#3: Will you quarantine for 14 days after every date?
(Even virtual dates?)
Some bad dates, especially first date fails, can take a while to recover from, but dating should be fun, so if every date leaves you wanting to embrace social distancing, you’re doing it wrong.
Incidentally, we love to help students and young adults do dating right! For starters, consider reading this post, How to Enjoy Dating without Freaking Out, and having someone who knows you best and loves you most do the same. Then discuss together.
#4: Will you insist on contact-tracing your significant other?
(And following up with their mom?)
There’s clingy and then there’s psychotic.
That said, if you’re jealousy-meter has you installing Life 360 on your SO’s phone and bugging their home and car, that is not healthy.
Someone who is ready to date should not need such supervision. And you shouldn’t be dating anyone who’s not ready to date.
However, while 24-hour surveillance should be unnecessary, we all need accountability. Indeed, a healthy person seeks accountability, so they never get to the point of needing an ankle bracelet.
On that note, look at your own life? How accountable are you?
#5: Will you wear latex gloves?
(And ask your date to call you Dr. Lovegood?)
No one should feel like they’re going in for a check-up on any date, so lose the latex.
That said, you most certainly should be careful what you touch when you date, because your date’s body does not belong to you.
No, not even if they offer it to you.
Why? Because until you’re married your date’s body belongs to our Creator alone. (Same goes for your body, by the way.)
Do you fear sexual temptation may be a problem for you?
Admitting the struggle is real is not enough. You need to learn how to fight and win this battle. Others have and you can too!
#6: Will you cry out, “Unclean!” every time your date touches their face?
(And follow up by spraying them with Lysol?)
We all have our little ticks and habits, so if you want to be particular you can find something wrong with everyone you date. Actually a lot of things wrong.
That said, as much as you should be discerning of your date’s character, don’t major on the minors.
Do you really want them to follow every single protocol recommended by the CDC or do you want them to follow the same God you do, as passionately as you do?
Do you really need them to be a certain height, weight, and IQ or would you rather they demonstrate humility, self-control, and wisdom?
I know you may have a checklist, but I would encourage you to prioritize that list and then show it to a wiser, more experienced mentor for their feedback. In the end you probably need to stop looking for your perfect match and start looking for someone who will inspire you to chase after God with all you are.
#7: Will you bring extra toilet paper?
(And will you offer it to your date?)
Yes. You should come prepared when you date.
- Prepared to put your date at ease.
- Prepared to enjoy a great time.
- Prepared to get to know your date and let them get to know you.
- Prepared to avoid temptation.
You might consider having extra deodorant, maybe. But don’t offer it to your date. Or apply it in front of them. Or even let them know you have it.
But leave the extra toilet paper at home.
So obviously this post was more tongue-in-cheek (behind a mask), but be sure to click any hyperlinks above to grow deeper. Or if you’d really like to know the sort of things which really could keep you single until death, check out the other non-satirical posts in the Date Night Advice (DNA) series, Is This Going to Keep You Single?
Date Night Advice (DNA) series: Is This Going to Keep You Single?
Part 9: Is a Pandemic Going to Keep You Single?
Click here for the next post in the series.
DNA: It’s What’s For Dating
It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.
Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.
Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!