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Date Night Advice series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date
Dumb Reason #3: Romance


It’s time for #3 of the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date, but you’re probably not going to like it.

In fact, if you identify with the fairer sex you’re probably going to hate it. This might be the last Date Night Advice you ever read, but here it goes.

The #3 Dumbest Reason to Date is… wait for it…


At this point, you may be thinking something along the lines of…

“Dating, but not hoping for romance?!? Wouldn’t that be like fishing, but not wanting to catch anything? Or attending a Bible study, but not wanting to learn about God? Or going to a donut shop, but only ordering coffee? (OK, some people do that.)

“For what reason should we date at all then, to witness to someone? Should we keep things business casual? Limit our conversation to comments about the weather and road conditions? Make sure there’s always a Bible’s width between us throughout our time together? Have our parents chaperone? Or perhaps a nun?!”

So many questions, to which one answer will suffice: No.

What I am suggesting is that, on your next date, instead of pursuing what you think you want, why not go after what you really want. (No, guys. Not that. That’s #2.)

Romance is wonderful. Delightful! It’s FUN! Helen of Troy may have possessed the face that launched 1,000 ships, but romance is the ideal that launched a hundred million movies.

To be honest, I love reminiscing about the romance my wife, Julie, and I shared in our courtship period. It was intoxicating at times. And from time to time we still enjoy moments – even seasons – of romantic delight in our marriage.

But I do NOT still reminisce about the lovey-dovey feelings I had for other girls I dated. You might argue that’s because my feelings were never reciprocated (until Julie), but Julie had a different story. Before we dated, she shared romantic affections for other guys which were returned, but if she still relishes the sweetness of those memories I don’t want to know.

Actually, because we’re so close I do know. Some of those memories make her feel a tad silly. Some make her feel kinda icky. And some make her feel ashamed.

The truth is romance has tarnished more dating experiences than it’s enhanced. And that’s because of this apparently little-known truth: romance is an impostor, a counterfeit, an imitation of a deep-seated relational requirement for which every heart cries out.

Like any well-trained impostor, romance can fool you for a good while. In fact, in the same way that alcohol deadens your senses, the chemical reaction of romance will mask your longing to share this greater pleasure with your date.

NO, guys! I already said I’m not talking about that. In fact, while romantic passion will actually push you toward that, this other relational delight can cool your jets.

This relational necessity is far less flashy and fun than romance, but infinitely more enduring and fulfilling. Do you know what it is? Care to hazard a guess?

We’ll talk about it next week, but until then I hope you’ll prayerfully seek out the answer for yourself. Maybe God has a better answer for you than I do.

DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

The LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will help you grow in your understanding of this all important relational need. Check out the first two 8-lesson study guides in our store. Then put together an FMU LoveEd small group study with same-gender friends and you’ll actually grow in this relational essential in community together.

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