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What does romance have in common with Santa Claus?

Does it sound like I was stretching for this seasonal post?

Come on! When it comes to mistletoe magic, St. Nick’s got it going on! Why he’s probably even kissed your mom!

I won’t say precisely whether he has or hasn’t, but I will divulge that I talked with your mom, and she shared at least eight things romance has in common with the jolly old man. (She was talking so fast I might have missed a couple.)

So throw another Yule log on the fire, hang the mistletoe and start reading.

#1: We Like to Call them Baby

I think it was Marilyn Monroe who popularized the little ditty, Santa Baby, but “baby” is more commonly used to refer to a significant other, signifying a sense of affection and belonging.

When I started dating Julie, I loved to call her my baby girl. And she LOVED it too.

That is until a visit with my parents in St. Louis, when she heard me call my family dog by the same name.

Multiple times.

“Come here, baby girl! You’re such a goooood doggie! Yessshoo are!”

She was not open to the idea of sharing her pet name with my… ah… pet. And it didn’t clear things up for me to explain that my dog had the pet name first either.

The moral of this story: DO NOT use literal pet names to refer to your significant other. No matter how much you love your pet.

#2: We Just Believe

Most children don’t have to be talked into believing in Santa Claus. Who wouldn’t want to believe in an idea as magical as that? Especially if you can get a whole tree-load of presents for the price of a plate of cookies and milk!

Similarly, romance is something we just believe in. And again, who wouldn’t want to? Indeed…

The stories we believe about romance make the notion of an old fat guy flying around the world in a sleigh seem almost plausible.

#3: They Involve Sitting in Laps

Personally, I find the whole Santa’s lap thing pretty creepy.

Think about it. There is literally no other occasion when a parent will encourage (and sometimes even command) their 2-year-old to sit in the lap of a stranger.

For crying out “Ho Ho Ho!” we usually tell children they shouldn’t even talk to strangers. But put that stranger in a red suit and fake beard and we encourage kids to share all their secret wishes with him.

As for having your special someone sit in your lap (or you in theirs), we recommend you keep all physical contact out in the open. This one single sex boundary can “whoops-proof” your dating life, enabling you to enjoy romance, while avoiding compromising situations.

#4: We Can Hardly Wait

The only difference between the wait for Santa vs. romance: Santa comes every year. Right on cue.

But I waited from third grade until my junior year of college for my first romance. Others wait longer; some wait their entire lives.

Then again, others manage to fit multiple romantic relationships into each year. But they’re waiting too: for that magic one. The one that lasts (see #8 below).

However, waiting is part of life, even after Christmas or the wedding day. That’s why you truly have to learn contentment, whatever you’re waiting for. Have you learned yet? This LoveEd video might help.

#5: We Hope they will Give us Everything We Want

When I was a child, I pretty much put the entire toy section of the Sears catalog on my wish list. Now, thanks to Amazon, the toy section got a whole lot bigger. YEA materialism!

In similar fashion…

Thanks to YouTube marriage proposals and shows like The Bachelor, our expectations for romance have ballooned like Santa’s belt size.

This is less the result of commercialism and more the result of our culture’s passion for experience.

#6: They Make things Fly

Making reindeer fly is nothing compared to making a person’s heart soar. And when you’re caught in the delirium of romance, my oh my, how your heart soars.

You’re in love! You’re in love and you don’t care who knows it.

Not even angry elves.

Just ask Buddy.

#7: They Bless Every Good Boy and Girl              

The dark side of Santa is that he’s somehow watching to see who’s being naughty or nice. And keep in mind, he’s been doing this since way before the invention of high-tech surveillance.

Then with this knowledge he rewards each child accordingly. Children with good reports from their assigned PO – I mean EOTS (Elf On The Shelf) – get good things. And the “behaviorally challenged” get coal. I’m not sure the idea behind coal. Perhaps foreshadowing the fire and brimstone that awaits them?

Many view romance in the same way. It comes to good boys and girls, so if you aren’t currently enjoying it, it probably means some little dwarf like creature is tattletaling about your porn habit or the rumor you spread last week.

But let’s face the facts, the biggest jerk you knew in elementary school got everything they wanted for Christmas while you got a sweater. And the most stuck-up girl in high school always seemed to have some guy stuck on her. So maybe true love isn’t earned anymore than Christmas presents.

#8: They Don’t Stick Around

When you’re waiting for Santa, it feels like forever. And then he’s in and out without you ever seeing him. (Unless you happened to have the unfortunate experience of catching him kissing your mom.)

The chemistry of romance doesn’t last forever either; a few months usually; two years tops. In a way, the romantic feelings you experience are little more than an extended acid trip. Psychologists call it limerence and it inhibits clear thinking (which is why love birds can make such incredibly imprudent decisions) and even causes you to rewrite history (which is why every time you fall in love it feels so much more real than the last time you fell in love).

When this chemical stage has passed, you can learn behaviors to kindle it again, but expecting to live forever in the fires of romance is no more realistic than expecting to move in with Santa and Mrs. Claus at the North Pole.

Well there you have it. Eight things romance has in common with Santa Claus.

Did your Mom miss anything?

Let us know in the comment section below. We’d love to hear from you at the holidays. And don’t forget to get something special for your Mom, lest she go off looking for love in the arms of some other man, hanging out in the center of the mall.

For more Christmas fun, check out this FMU Christmas classic:
TOP10 Things Sex has in Common with Christmas

By the way, your Mom told me to remind you that it’s better to give than to receive. Consider a tax-deductible donation to Future Marriage University!

DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

Dug this weekend’s DNA? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.

The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE you fall in love!

It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.

Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.

Even better?  And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!