What if there were a book offering parenting advice for dating? NOT dating advice for parents, but advice for parents (and pastors, coaches, counselors, and mentors) for helping the next generation date in a manner more likely to lead to a life-giving, lifelong marriage.

Well wonder no more. There is such a book, and the promo video above will tell you all about it. But you can only watch it if you’re a parent (or pastor, coach, counselor, or mentor). Then get a sneak peek from Before Your Child Dates: The DatePrep Guide for Parents by reading the full book preface in the excerpt below.

Dear Mom & Dad 

If your child’s future marriage is at least as important to you as their career, I have a question for you:

Would you like to help your child navigate the perilous landscape of the modern dating world?

Of course, dating has always been a daunting endeavor, but today the path to marriage is plagued by:

• Sexual brokenness
• Unrealistic expectations
• Confusion
• Fear

And on a level far beyond what it was back when I was dating in the 1900s.

But what if you could inspire and lead your child to prepare for their future marriage like a successful career: intentionally, intelligently, and in advance? And by “in advance,” I mean preferably before they fall in love. Even better: before they start dating.

Regardless of your child’s current dating status (or interest in dating), whatever their age, whether your child is out of college, in college, college-bound, or can’t yet spell the word “college,” I’m glad you’re reading these words.

Because, since 2003, my wife and I have been empowering students and young adults to grow spiritually and date wisely so they can marry well, and we’ve been doing this:

• Online
• In student ministries
• On college campuses
• With young adult groups
• Through in-person classes

After many years of those efforts, I finally started writing books, like Date Like You Know What You’re Doing: Your DatePrep Guide.

But this is the first book I wrote for you. This one goes out to the parents.

Where my parents at?!

Would You Like to Divorce-proof Your Child’s Future Marriage?

Divorce is the great fear of every starry-eyed lover, as it is for the parents who love them and want the best for them.

However, what if the antidote to marital failure were proper preparation? Like it is in most every noble endeavor.

Take one’s career. Let’s consider how we prepare our children for their future career to the way we prepare them for their future marriage.

• Future career: 12+ years of education is required, beginning around age six. An additional 4+ years recommended. Perhaps even more. Plus on-the-job training.
• Future marriage: NO EDUCATION REQUIRED! At most, we give them a few hours of premarital counseling, which only takes place within weeks of the wedding day.

Right there, in just two bullet points, we see why divorce is so prevalent in our culture. And also, how divorce could be readily prevented.

I’m not saying you can divorce-proof your child’s future marriage, but I am saying that your child waiting until they believe they’ve already found “the one” is too late to begin preparing for marital success.

In contrast, logic suggests that learning to thrive in long-term, sacrificial relationships, beginning in your preteen years, could only improve the odds of a life-giving, lifelong marriage. And isn’t that just what we want for our children?

If We Prepared for Our Career the Way We Prepare for Marriage: A Mock Interview

Interviewer: So, Mr. Johnson, you think you’d like to work for our company.

Applicant: Think I’d like to? I know I would, Mr. Gates.

Interviewer: Well, why would you be a good fit for us?

Applicant: Well, of course, I’ve grown up admiring you from afar. I mean, your company. Like love at first sight, I guess.

Interviewer: Excuse me?

Applicant: But then my mom encouraged me to fill out this online career assessment, and—I couldn’t believe it! I found that this company and I match in 29 areas of compatibility!

Interviewer: Compatibility is nice, but …

Applicant: But it’s not everything, right?! That’s why I go back to what my parents told me about choosing my career path. “Son,” they told me, “You’ll just know.” And for the first time in my life, I feel like I really do. I do know.

Interviewer: Uh, yeah. Well, let’s talk about what you do know. Tell me about your qualifications for this position.

Applicant: Yes! Well, I’m a real go-getter and never take “no” for an answer. And can I be honest with you? You … complete me.

Interviewer: Uh … that is very interesting. And odd. Tell me where you got your degree.

Applicant: I didn’t need one. I learned everything I know from watching my mom and dad.

Interviewer: Are you saying they home-schooled you … through college?

Applicant: Ha! No. But my mom and dad both worked in this same field … more or less. I mean, the industry was way different back then, but I spent a lot of my childhood carefully watching how my parents worked.

Interviewer: That’s your work experience? Watching your parents work?

Applicant: At least in this discipline, but I also learned a lot from the other companies I’ve dated … I mean WORKED for.

Interviewer: So you haven’t even attended any industry conferences, seminars, or workshops? Perhaps you did some reading or completed an online course, you know, after you found out about all those areas of compatibility.

Applicant: Yes! The compatibility! Can’t you see it, Bill? We were made for each other!

Interviewer: Did you just call me Bill?

Applicant: Sorry. Am I moving too fast?

Interviewer: Uh. Mr. Johnson, I don’t think you realize how much will be required of you to thrive in this position.

Applicant: Oh, believe me, sir, I know! I know this job can chew a guy up and spit him right out. In fact, I know the stats. They say half who enter this industry wind up burning out.

Interviewer: That’s why I’m shocked you haven’t had any training at all!

Applicant: But all we need is love!

Interviewer: All we need is what?!

Applicant: And sure, I’ll have a lot to learn. We both will, but we’ll have the two weeks of on-the-job training.

Interviewer: We will have the two weeks of on-the-job … Mr. Johnson, you couldn’t possibly learn everything you need to know in even two years of on-the-job training. Not for this position.

Applicant: Mr. Gates, I really am hearing you … but … I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.

Interviewer: I tell you what I know. I’m calling security.

Change the Marriage Preparation Paradigm, Beginning with Your Own Child

No one could be so naïve as to think they could thrive in a demanding, high-skilled career just because they watched their parents do it. No college. No trade school. Not even a seminar. Just observe Mom and Dad.

And yet, most marry with barely the equivalent of on-the-job training, and expect to keep “their position” for the rest of their life. And enjoy it.

But if marriage has the potential to be as important, challenging, and rewarding as our career, we must change how we prepare future generations for dating and marriage.

And, honestly, for my wife, Julie, and me, marriage and family have proven far more important, far more challenging, and far more rewarding than any of our career pursuits. That includes the pursuit of our FMU mission, which, in the case of this book, we hope will change the future of your own family.

[The above post is an excerpt right from Before Your Child Dates: The DatePrep Guide for Parents. I wrote it to empower parents (and pastors, coaches, counselors, and mentors) to empower the next generation to grow spiritually and date wisely so they can marry well. For more parenting advice, check out our Parental Guidance page. Or check out the Date Like You Know What You’re Doing book and video series we wrote for the wise individual. Here’s that promo video:]