Date Night Advice (DNA) Series: The Porn Posts
Post 5
No doubt about it, porn is a serious problem. It tells us captivating lies, but, in truth, it’s a sin that leads to death. However, if you’ve confessed your porn problem before God and to one or more close friends, freedom is within your grasp. Many, many, many, many others have faced this enemy and prevailed!
Now, in the community of those to whom you have shared your struggle, prayerfully consider how to take steps of faith to grow in victory in the following two areas:
Learn to trust God
What does trusting God have to do with sexual purity?
Well there are two main reasons we disobey God. Either we don’t actually love Him or we don’t truly trust Him. Since you’re reading this post, I’m going to assume that you probably love God as best you know how. However…
If you’re not convinced God wants the very best for you then you’re going to feel compelled to disobey Him from time to time in order to get certain “needs” met. Enter porn.
In contrast, if you can trust God with all that you are, then you will find forsaking sexual temptation a privilege instead of a drudgery. And you will find giving into sin brings immense grief instead of the fleeting fun it once did.
This reality is why “learning to trust God” is one of the three critical life lessons addressed in our Beyond Sex & Salvation study guide series. I would recommend you and your fellow freedom fighters walk through that first 8-lesson book together.
It will lead you to wrestle with many important questions like these:
- What makes it so hard to trust God?
- When was the last time you were disappointed with God? Did He actually fail to fulfill His promises, or did He simply “fail” to meet your expectations?
- Do you actually live as though God’s ways and thoughts are really that much higher than yours? Why or why not?
- If sexual purity was the sole measure of your trust of God and His will, how would you rate yourself? Why? What would you like to do about that?
Learn how to abide in God’s love
Freedom is never found running away from something, whether it be porn or any other sin. Even if you’re successful in keeping one step ahead, if you’re running away from something, that’s not freedom. That’s fear.
Of course Paul tells us, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Cor 6:18), but…
If you think Jesus hung on a cross for your sins so you could spend the rest of your life running from temptation, you may not understand the power He won for you on that cross.
So as you turn to face this deadly agent of death you don’t have to be afraid, for 1 John 4:18 (ESV) says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.“
I’m not saying God wants to take all of your struggles away, but there’s a HUGE difference between living with weakness and living in fear. (2 Cor 12:7-10) Somewhere along the way, you and your purity posse will have to figure out how you can replace your running from sin with abiding (resting) in God’s love. I encourage you to meditate on John 15 for starters in that effort.
Then consider these questions:
- Do you find yourself more often motivated by God’s love or judgment? Why do you think that is?
- Are you really fleeing sexual immorality, or are you freeing sexual immorality? Or do you free it and then flee it, only to free it again and then…
- Are you more afraid of what porn is doing to you or what will happen if you get caught? Why?
- How would your life be different if you were too busy pursuing God to spend a bunch of time avoiding porn? What changes in your lifestyle or perspective could bring that shift?
We’ll share a couple more practical tips to overcoming porn’s pull on your life next week, but remember, porn isn’t an internet problem solved by an internet blog. It’s a relational problem solved in the context of healthy authentic relationships.
That said, if you want to try and implement these changes on your own, without confessing to (and enlisting the help of) another brother or sister in Christ you will fail. Please humble yourself before you have to be humbled (further).
Freedom awaits those who believe. Are you beginning to believe?
DNA: It’s What’s For Dating
Dug this weekend’s DNA? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.
The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE you fall in love!
It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.
Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.
Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!
