I have a friend who shared with me his two biggest fears: bankruptcy and divorce.
As a single, what would yours be – never marrying at all; or perhaps marrying only to wind up divorced… and alone again?
I ask this after reflecting on my “Pick One” blog from last June. I asked you to identify which of the following you desired the most:
Meaningful Career
Impressive Income
Impactful Ministry
Fulfilling Social Life
Amazing Marriage
But I think I’d like to ask the opposite question this time. Which of the following do you fear the most:
Job Layoff
Bankruptcy
Failure in ministry
Betrayal by close friends
Divorce
Of course all of them are scary, but which do you fear the most? If you’re not sure, ask people you know that have experienced one or more of the misfortunes above. Consider what remedies (if any) exist for each hardship. Think about the impact each would make on your life immediately and in the long run.
Again, as I said in June, choosing where you most want to win determines where you least want to lose. Where do you least want to lose?
If divorcephobia is a significant concern you hold for your future, why not do something about it? After all, divorce isn’t a disease that people just catch. It’s the result of a marriage lacking repentance, forgiveness, trust, understanding, and grace. But where do you go to learn about and grow in such qualities; other than by just bumbling through relationships trying to figure it out?
How do you learn anything? SEEK OUT THE ANSWERS!
This New Year’s read a marriage book, interview a married couple you really respect, attend a class on marriage, communication, conflict resolution or personal finance. In James 1:5, Paul says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”
Here’s to a new year of pursuing wisdom that could set your marriage up for success before it ever begins. Let us know how we can pray for you on your journey.
MJ
