They say the holidays can be especially lonely when you’re single.
I can certainly see how that would be, and yet ironically being single has never been so popular!
In fact, in America today, a slight majority of the entire adult population is single. And if you’re talking about millennials (most of whom are in their 20s) 73% have never married.
That’s a lot of potential loneliness to go around. However…
No matter how badly you may long to meet the one who becomes the proverbial love of your life, you want something else to happen first. You want to be ready to meet them.
This seems lost in a culture reared on Disney movies, chick lit, rom coms, and porn. In all these tales, the right relationship – be it marital, romantic, or sexual – just happens. Without a lick of preparation. And when it does, it’s fantastic!
I must admit, in many ways it seemed just like that for Julie and me. We were friends, and then great friends, and then close friends, and then boyfriend/girlfriend. And after 25 years of marriage we’re still best friends.
There was no formula.
But there was preparation.
Indeed, it began Christmas of my Junior year of college, when I wasn’t dating anyone seriously. When I hadn’t even yet had a girlfriend. That’s when my mother gave me a marriage book which changed my entire perspective on marriage.
Before that book, marriage was something I wanted, so I could have a Biblically-sanctioned sex partner, but at the same time also something I feared would eventually become a trap of boredom at best; a dungeon of depression at worst.
(Can you relate at all?) Yet after that book I came to realize that…
Marriage is a mission where you die to yourself on behalf of your best friend and for the glory of God.
That book made marriage look very difficult, but very doable.
And very worth doing.
And within a month after reading that book I was dating my future wife.
No, it wasn’t a magic book. However, it was an essential step in preparing me not just to succeed in dating, but to succeed in marriage.
That said, did you note how dramatically my perspective on marriage changed from reading just one marriage book? I don’t even want to know how differently things would have been had Julie and I started dating before then; when my desire for marital sex was matched only by my fear of marital regret.
What about you?
What if God hasn’t brought you into that dating relationship which will lead to matrimony because He knows you’re not yet ready? And just how would you know if you were ready?
More to the point, what if there were an entire ministry founded to help you get ready to meet, date, and marry your future spouse? Say, a ministry conceived in the mind of a man who’s mom gave him a marriage book back before he had ever had a girlfriend?
Begin your journey of preparing to be “the one” for your future spouse right now. Start for free by checking out our Hot Topic page dedicated to understanding healthy relationships. Then check out our Beyond Sex & Salvation discipleship series below.
DNA: It’s What’s For Dating
It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.
Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.
Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!