But apparently not for long. Indeed, the research indicates that purity pledges only delay first sexual experience by 18 months.
How about a new campaign?
“True Love Waits… 18 Months!”
Yeah. Sounds like “true love” to me.
However, that’s old news. What I think might be new news is this.
A secret to living in sexual purity until your wedding night, is to STOP waiting and START preparing.
Not preparing to jump into the marriage bed, mind you, but preparing to actually be married .[Insert sound of needle scratch followed by nothing, but a chorus of crickets here.]
I know. You were probably thinking marriage was something you only prepare for AFTER you find “that special someone.” After all, that’s what everyone else does!
So I beseech you, instead of spending all your energy resisting sexual temptation, start investing in the greater goal of understanding, preparing for, and discerning the call of marriage. Indeed, if you’re busy about the latter you will find succeeding in the former far easier. Even better?
The odds are forever in your favor that if you wind up in a great marriage, great sex will come in time.
That’s not a promise, but trust me, it won’t work the other way around. No. It really won’t.
Great sex won’t make your marriage great, because marriage isn’t about sex. Not by a long shot. Just ask everyone you know who got married for the sex.
So how would one prepare for marriage?
Well certainly not by simply trying to stay a virgin. If anything, that focus only exacerbates the problem. “I will not have sex. I will not have sex. I will not even think about sex. Don’t think about sex. No sex. No sex. Nose x. Nose sex? No!! No sex of any kind. Not even of the nose. I will not have sex. I will not have sex…”
Good luck with that. Or instead of counting on luck, try preparing for marriage the same way you would a successful career:
- and IN ADVANCE!
How do we prepare for a successful career?
- Read books (Why I just so happen to have written a couple!)
- Talk to experts (couples married 30+ years whom you know and admire)
- Attend classes, seminars and conferences (How fortuitous! We have eight different seminar series to pick from!)
- Personal experience (And by that I mean LESS groping and fornicating experience and MORE growing in friendship experience.)
It’s actually not all that complicated, but it does take time and effort, purpose and understanding, and preferably learning before you’re burning. This is the sole reason why Future Marriage University (FMU) exists, to help you prepare for relational success when it counts, before you fall in love.
So STOP waiting! Because true love doesn’t just wait. IT PREPARES!
The world is obsessed with sexual love, but what the world is dying for is sacrificial love, the kind of love which actually sustains marriage.
Our LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to grow spiritually and date wisely, so you can marry well.
This discipleship series is NOT for couples, but for the wise individual who wants to prepare for their future marriage like a successful career: intentionally, intelligently and IN ADVANCE!
This discipleship series is NOT about dos and don’ts. It’s about learning the life lessons, mastering the life disciplines, and making the life decisions necessary for relational success.[originally published: 11/4/15]