Skip to main content

You can date like you know what you’re doing. Check out the book and video series NOW!

Wow. It’s been a tough year for America so far, but if a post entitled the TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with the 4th of July can’t bring both some inspiration and levity to your life, what hope is there?

So in a bi-partisan effort to bring our fine nation together in unity, we proudly make this star-spangled tribute to sex and patriotism.

#5: Fireworks

What’s the 4th without fireworks? And the bigger the better!

Of course, fireworks do have a dark side. Namely, they’re dangerous, which is why the coolest, most amazing fireworks displays are designed, set up, and set off by trained and licensed professionals.

Long before the signing of the Declaration of Independence, “fireworks” has also been a euphemism for sex. And for good reason. Not only is romantic/sexual chemistry explosive fun, it can also hurt you if not handled with care.

Odds are you may already carry around heart wounds today from “fireworks” you (or someone else) found fun at the time.

Want to enjoy the fireworks of sexual intimacy without getting burned? Save sex for marriage!

#4: The Yearning for Freedom

The 4th may be fun, but what we celebrate is profound: the day our nation’s leaders dared to demand freedom from tyranny.

Similarly, a growing coalition within our culture is now demanding a freedom from Biblical sexual mores that neither the free-loving hippies nor the inventors of “the pill” could have possibly imagined back in 1960.

However, not all freedom is desirable (1Cor 6:12).  For instance, who wants complete “driving freedom?” “Oh, kids will be kids. You can’t expect them to stop at red lights or pay attention to ‘School Zone’ signs. And who can say which side of the road is the ‘right side?’ Just as long as they use a seat belt!”

We would do well to consider what freedom we demand. 

#3: The Struggle Against Enemies Without

Desiring freedom is one thing. Winning it is quite another.

“The rocket’s red glare and bombs bursting in air” mentioned in the Star Spangled Banner weren’t for the ooos and ahhhs of spectators. They were fired during the War of 1812 waged against Great Britain.

That’s 25 years after the Constitutional Convention.

In other words, the Revolutionary War wasn’t enough. To maintain our freedom, Americans have had to continue to defend it, often times at great cost.

Do you want true sexual freedom? You will find it’s not enough to desire it. You must defend it as well.

I remember when I felt the allure of our hyper-sexualized culture irresistible. I certainly did not feel very free back then, because the easy “freedom” of sexual immorality actually ends up enslaving those who surrender to it.

However, through great struggle I learned to turn away from temptation (Prov 31:1). You can too. But you MUST believe that true sexual freedom will prove both winnable and worthy of the war (Eph 6:10-18).

#2: A Constitution to Protect Us from the Enemy Within

Remember the Arab Spring? How about back in 2003, when the statue of Saddam was toppled?

What’s become of all that? Are those people “free” today?

What went wrong?

The reality is that after you stage a revolution you have to negotiate a constitution – an agreement by which those who have won their freedom determine how they will maintain it.

Beyond that, simply drafting our US Constitution, with its extraordinary checks and balances, wasn’t enough. In the words of John Adams, “Our Constitution was made only for a moral & religious people.” And that people have had to uphold our constitution through colossal courage and sacrifice – including the deaths of over half a million lives in the Civil War.

In the same way, I couldn’t pretend my problem with porn and sexual fantasy was all the culture’s fault. I am my own worst enemy, and so I had to prayerfully form reasonable checks and balances to maintain my freedom. And then, with the help of God, my wife and trusted friends, I have to uphold them.

Fortunately, I’ve not only found freedom from sexual immorality life-giving, it has set me free to enjoy the marriage bed in a way I could have never imagined prior. (We call it Type-M Sex).

#1: Pride

National pride is at its peak during the Red, White and Blue holiday. It’s so celebrated, you’d almost think it a virtue.

Pride was certainly the driving force in the evolution of “sexual freedom” our country has witnessed through the years. Way before gay pride parades and the fight for “marriage equality,” it was the heterosexuals who were proudly rebelling against tradition back at Woodstock.

Even among those who have “kissed dating goodbye” there is great temptation to fall into self-righteous pride.

However, among other divine qualities, 1 Cor 13 tells us love “…does not boast. It is not proud.” And Prov 16:18 reminds us that, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Consider that this weekend, whichever kind of fireworks you’re planning to enjoy.

Praying for your TRUE sexual freedom on this Independence Day. Happy 4th from all of us at FMU.

And for a deeper understanding of what true sexual freedom is and is not check out this LoveEd episode from the series, Dating 101, on our FMU YouTube channel.)

Date Night Advice (DNA) series: Things Sex has in Common with…
TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with the 4th of July
Click here for the next post in the series.

DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

Dug this weekend’s DNA? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.

The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE you fall in love!

It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.

Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.

Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!