Until now, the road to recovery from porn addiction has required extensive resources, personal commitment and social support systems. Some former addicts have had to install filtering software or ditch internet access completely. Some have had to share their struggle openly with understanding friends. Others have had to seek therapy or check into rehab facilities.

However, a team of scientists with the Comprehensive Permanent Porn Prevention Organization (C3PO) claim those days will soon go the way of the dial-up connection.

“Every patient we’ve treated has not only ceased to seek out porn, studies show their eyes are no longer drawn to stare at women in real life either, even if they’re wearing suggestive clothing. Or no clothing at all,” stated Dr. E.Z. Whey, C3PO Director. “We’ve basically eliminated visual lust with one simple, but revolutionary surgical procedure.”

In spite of the treatment’s proven effectiveness there are certain undesirable side effects; specifically that everyone who undergoes the treatment loses their sight completely, since it requires severing the optic nerve.

“Do you want to be free from porn or don’t you,” Dr. Whey questioned? “If you do, then we have a simple solution that is quite affordable. Even better? It doesn’t require all the effort, vulnerability and personal growth necessary to train your mind to resist temptation and pursue healthy relationships.”

The Relational Reporter: unreal stories. real truth. really funny.

Dug this article? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.

Ready to Get Serious about Freedom from Porn?

If you enjoyed the above satirical news piece, you’ll love this MAN2MAN memo on whether porn is really a big deal. Then keep watching the following videos in the playlist for six secrets to kicking your porn habit. Unlike the click bait teaser above, this is REAL truth that could help you win your battle against porn AND keep your eyes too.

Speaking of eyes, if you’d like more reading material on the subject of freedom from porn, check out one of the recent Date Night Advice blog posts below.

16 Things I Love about Life after Porn

If you didn’t know, pornography will kill you. Eventually. It’s what sin does.

And likely before then it will make you wish you were dead.

It did that for me at one time. Made me wish I was dead, that is. It didn’t actually kill me. Obviously. Unless I’m a ghost. (Would that make me a ghostwriter?)

All of that to say, I broke up with porn back in 2001.

Yes. That means I celebrate my 16th anniversary of freedom from porn this year.

Anyone who’s been caught in the porn vortex may find that hard to believe. Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe too! But then again, there are so many things I enjoy about life after porn, in many ways it’s not that difficult for me to believe in the least.  [Read More]

Are You Already Married… to Porn?

Know what probably saved me from a serious porn addiction?

The internet.

You see, the internet wasn’t around in my teens and 20s when my hormones were raging like a mad bull in heat. So I couldn’t get ready access with complete anonymity. And that was my salvation.

But if you’re in your teens or 20s today, the existence of internet porn in these formative years may be why you do have a serious porn addiction.

Of course, the internet doesn’t make us sin. It just makes it easier.

Far easier.

But freedom is possible. I’m not the only one who’s found it. And sometimes the allegorical kick we need in the proverbial pants, is simply to understand what porn is doing to us. How it’s impacting us. It sure motivated me to break free. [Read More]

Want to go beyond what a blog post can accomplish? The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE!

It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.

Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better?  And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!