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[updated: 10/28/20]

They’re back:

The TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with Halloween!

Just like the Demogorgon in Hawkins, IN, or Jason in the hockey mask, or the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in Ghostbusters, no matter what you do, they just won’t die. They keep on coming back around.

However, this TOP5 is a heck of a lot more fun than any of those stranger things.

#5: Trick or Treat

If it wasn’t for trick-or-treating, I’m not sure there would be a Halloween. It’s not a holiday with that much depth.

Unless, of course, you’re a Druid or real life witch. And if you are, I hope you aren’t offended by the suggestion that everyone else is pretty much in it for the candy. (If it makes you feel any better, we Christians know how it feels. Rumor has it, many are only into Christmas for the presents.)

But tricks and treats aren’t just for Halloween. Many people have been tricked into giving someone sex. While some use sex as a treat to get what they want out of a relationship (or at least what they think they want). But, true love doesn’t play tricks and can’t be earned with treats. That’s because love, by its very nature, is a gift freely shared.

#4: The Devil

I actually dressed up as the devil one Halloween when I was in elementary school. I’m still not certain how my parents signed off on that. Perhaps they figured if the mask fit…

Regardless, you should know that Satan is real and he dresses up too. Sometimes as an angel of light. Sometimes as a really good looking person who you should not be dating.

And yes he’d love to have you believe that sex isn’t that big a deal. In fact, one of his favorite ways of temptation, is to start by asking, “Did God really say…?

#3: Masks

Who doesn’t love a costume party? It’s fun to pretend to be someone (or something) else for an evening.

What’s not fun is to pretend while you’re having sex.

Actually it’s more than not fun. It’s tragic!

Regretably, research reveals this is precisely what the majority of both college men and women in the hook-up culture are doing. They’re acting like they’re enjoying themselves when in reality, they feel dirty, used and cheap. It’s why alcohol is a frequent part of the hook-up mix. Just the thing to deaden the senses.

However, sex was never meant to be a performance. Sex was meant to be the most vulnerable, authentic expression of physical intimacy possible. Which is why sex is best shared between two lovers intimately connected (and committed) in every other way, for life. No masks necessary.

#2: Ghosts

Scary ghost stories will be told aplenty this season. What’s scarier is how past sexual experiences can become ghosts which haunt us in later relationships and right into marriage.

This is true even if that sexual experience wasn’t with anyone else. I’m referring to pornography. Porn torments many a soul.

Relationships may die and browsing histories may be erased, but regrets and heart wounds remain, so if you want to be able to live fully in the present without being troubled by your sexual past, consider this one single sexual boundary for your dating life. And as for porn, start with recognizing the lies it’s telling you. And then recognize the truth.

#1: Fear

For many, Halloween is the celebration of fear.

And if we’re honest, there’s a lot of fear surrounding sex these days, from sexual assault to performance anxiety (and the resulting ED), from STDs to unwanted pregnancies. Then there’s the fear of having photos you thought were private going public. (Speaking of, whether or not you were going as Captain America or not this year, be sure to learn from his mistake.)

But God’s word says perfect love casts out fear. That’s why our loving God set up safe boundaries for sex, so that fear might be the farthest thing from your mind when you’re enjoying the gift of sexual intimacy.

Trust God’s will for your life and enjoy the rest of your Fall. And don’t eat too much candy.

Want more on sex? Check out our current LoveEd YouTube video series, Premarital Sex & the Scriptures.

Or just check out our Hot Topic page dedicated to a Biblical perspective on human sexuality.

And for further inspiration to save sex, check out any of these posts in the TOP10 Things Sex has in Common with… series:

DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

Dug this weekend’s DNA? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.

The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE you fall in love!

It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.

Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.

Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!

[originally published: 10/28/15]