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DNA-passions leadIn these times in which we live, passion has become quite the popular topic.

It’s usually spoken of in relation to one’s career pursuits, but it’s become much bigger than that. Indeed, from many of the things I read, if you don’t know what your passions are, you may have no reason for living at all.

For your passions are to determine:

  • The school you attend
  • The major you choose
  • The career path you take
  • The lifestyle you maintain

OH! And one more thing: basically everything else that’s important in life.

In essence, if you want to have a life worth living you must be led by your passions.

That’s a lot of pressure to put on something so ethereal.

However, here’s the irony. Though the push to follow our passions in the workplace is relatively new, we’ve been following our passions in the realm of relationships for the last century or so.

How has that been working out for us?

I would suggest that letting our passions lead our love life hasn’t done much to strengthen the institutions of marriage and family. In fact, I would say it’s a primary reason behind the cultural trends of divorce, cohabitation, sexual identity and even the “new normal” of 50 shades of sexual perversion.

Passion or Purpose: Pick One!

But, now I fear this post may be coming off a tad negative. Maybe even apocalyptic.

I hope not, because I LOVE PASSION!

If you can’t tell from reading this blog, I hold more than a little passion for sharing Biblical truth on sex, dating and relationships. And hopefully doing so in a way that is more fun than glum (even in posts with negative titles like Marriage Will Make You Fat (And Other Such Nonsense) or TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date).

But though I have tremendous passion for what I do here, that’s not what drives me.

What drives me is purpose.

I want to equip the church to empower the wise individual to prepare for their future marriage like a successful career: intentionally, intelligently and IN ADVANCE! In fact, that’s the mission of FMU.

Your passions are important. Odds are, more than one of your passions were planted in your soul by the creator of passion, before you were a gleam in your father’s eye. However, though you need both passion and purpose, only one can take the lead.

That said, your passion should serve your purpose and not the other way round.

But our culture has it precisely the other way round.

  • In dating
  • In sex
  • And ultimately in marriage

I Am, Therefore I Date.

Why do we date?

Because we fall in love, of course! Duh!

Or because we’re lonely, or bored. Or hungry and someone is offering to pay for our meal.

None of those motives have much to do with any sense of purpose. (Well I suppose a free meal does serve a purpose; just not something long-term.)

What purpose do you have for dating? Is it sex? Companionship? Entertainment?

What should be your purpose in dating? To wrestle with that question, I encourage you to walk through the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date, where we discover right purposes by discrediting other popular, but, sadly deficient motives for dating.

Sex. So You Know How, but do You Know Why?

Do you know what the purpose of sex is?

Most think the answer to that question is self-evident. And if they do, they likely think it has to do with self-gratification (though they probably wouldn’t use the term “self-gratification”). And because of this, most people view sex from such a distorted perspective, it renders the prospect of sexual fulfillment inside of a life-long monogamous relationship unattainable. (Unless they change that perspective, of course.)

It’s like a child who finds a book of matches in the woods, and with no understanding of the constructive potential of fire (and no regard for the danger), simply burns down the forest. And himself in the process.

Are you that child? Are you destroying your future with the matchbook of porn or hookups or 50 shades of sexual curiosity?

Or are you “keeping it real pure,” but still have never considered what the point of sex might be?

Let this post be a next step in that journey of understanding.

The Meaning of Marriage

Do you only want to be married so you can have guilt-free, readily-available sex? (I must admit, this was a huge motivator for me.)

What if the sex doesn’t wind up being everything you hoped? That happens you know. (I must admit this was a reality for the first seven to ten years of my own marriage.)

Do you want to get married so you can have kids?

What if you can’t? Or what if you can, but they don’t wind up being the perfect children you imagined? Or what if you attempt to adopt, and the adoption process threatens to bury you?

Or what if you don’t want to have kids, and Yet THEY COME!


Do you simply want to get married so you can live happily ever after?

Think  B I G G E R !

Marriage is a picture of Jesus’ relationship both to His Father and to His church. Which makes the church both Christ’s body (destined for oneness with our Creator) and His bride (destined for oneness with our Savior)!

Can you feel that truth arouse anything inside your soul?

If so, then you ‘re ready to launch into our first LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, where we empower wise individuals to grow in their understanding of the purpose of marriage BEFORE they fall in love.

You can learn more about that on our FMU YouTube channel, by watching the videos in our Beyond Sex & Salvation playlist.

Stop Dreaming & Start Living!

It comes down to this: you are not you’re own. You were bought with a price, so you weren’t made (and subsequently saved) to live for your own passions, inspired by your own dreams.

But the truth doesn’t stop there! Because God has something better for you than you could have imagined on your own.

God has placed a call on your life! And that call gives you purpose! Purposes that will simultaneously inspire and reign in your passions.

Did you get that? The God of the universe is calling you! He has purposes for you!

“Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Romans 11:33 – 12:2

In light of these scriptural truths, consider meeting up with a couple of good friends and discussing these questions:

  • What has been my purposes behind dating (or not dating)? What should those purposes be?
  • What’s driving my sex drive? What might the purposes of sex be?
  • Why do I want to (or don’t want to) be married? Why does anyone marry?

DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

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The LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE! It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. Check out the first two 8-lesson study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better?  And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!